Wrigley2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 My ex and I where together for 8 years, & engaged for 3 of them. A little less than a year ago, she ended it. The only real reasons she gave that amounted to anything, was that I was the same person I was when we first meet, and that I never made her as happy as her friends could. After many months of counseling, and a lot of reflection, I finally accepted what my friends and counselor had been telling me. Basically we didn't communicate as well as we could have, and the stress of grad school forced her to address the demons from her childhood. My counselor put is better than I ever could, "she finally grew into the person she was meant to be". The break up hit me really hard, because everything was fine, and then in the coarse of a few weeks, everything went to hell, and it was over. For several weeks after the split, I barely slept or ate, & I was drinking heavily every night. My life was all but over as far as I was concerned, because my soul-mate was gone. When I hit rock bottom, a few friends pulled me back from the brink, and started me down a path of reflection and self discovery. I've learned a more about myself in the last 6 months, than I did in the rest of my life combined. I don't really believe in astrology, but it's shocking how well my sign (Scorpio) describes me. I don't sugar coat things, I hate failing, I'm very competitive, I go with what my gut tells me, & I don't pull punches. On the flip side, I'm caring, giving, shy, and would prefer to blend into the crowd. I've gotten my life back to normal, despite the fact that I see my ex almost daily (we work at the same company). I'm routinely going out with friends and having fun, I've even been taking and really enjoying salsa classes (so not me). However, i've been feeling lonely more frequently lately. Usually its' late at night like now, when everything is closed, and nothing is on TV. I feel like I should start dating again, but the thought of putting my self out there and possibly going through this all again is really unsettling. Not to mention, I'm not really interested in anyone I know, and I'm not the bar type. anyone else ever felt like this? How did you get back into the "game"?
coolheadal Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Yes I am getting back into the game but slowly.. No rush for me. I don't want to go through what I did with the wife nor what you have gone through. Just too much for one man to handle.
madjac74 Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 The break up hit me really hard, because everything was fine, and then in the coarse of a few weeks, everything went to hell, and it was over. For several weeks after the split, I barely slept or ate, & I was drinking heavily every night. My life was all but over as far as I was concerned, because my soul-mate was gone. When I hit rock bottom, a few friends pulled me back from the brink, and started me down a path of reflection and self discovery. I went through this with my divorce after almost ten years, couldn't eat or sleep, just drank all the time, lost like 30 lbs, skipped work all the time Just basically crashed hard. Mostly I took it hard because of the kids and I couldn't stand the thought of just be an every other weekend dad. I thought I was going to miss out on their lives and just become an after thought to them. As far as dating, I was like 34 and I just felt like "Who would want me?" I had lost all self confidence from the divorce. In an effort to get out of my rut, I tried an online dating site. I met a really beautiful, fun and a bit wild blonde and we ended up getting into a relationship. Well it was sort of a rebound for both of us and all we did was party a lot. It got kind of messy but overall the experience boosted my confidence a great deal and we even remained friends. After that I started meeting lots of new people and my weekends were always full of people wanting to do things. My self asteem continued to grow, I put a lot of energy into my hobbies, improved my relationship with my ex and I get the kids a whole bunch more than just every other weekend. So I wish you the best at getting back out there. It is intimidating at first when you haven't dated for such a long time. Thats why I tried online dating because you can kind of browse and take things slow.
phillyfan Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Dude online datin, if u aint a fan of hittin the clubs thts the best way.
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