Leigh 87 Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 My boyfriend is not a big facebook user.. He uses it occasionally, but not daily, and normally he only uses it to download holiday/ vacation pics to show people the amazing plazes he visits. He only has a few mobile uploads, of a random party night, of him and a friend, and only a few of those. He may have done it to see how the phone camera worked, as in just mucking about; on the other hand, he may have wanted to show people that he likes to have a good time, WHILE he was having a particularly crazy night. PROBLEM: We are in love, and he seams to really love me... I have moved in to his place, and I have gone through a lot with him; I have gone from having an eating disorder and having no personality, to suddenly emerging as a recovered, normal person. I am the second girl he has seriously liked; the last one was while travelling, and only for 3 months ( although it took ages for him to get over her, as he was falling in love). He never put any pics of her in facebook, to show people. Likewise, he has not downloaded any pics of me on facebook, either. It concerns me, that if he loves me so muchm and also finds me sexy and good looking ( he tells me he does find me way better than average and good looking): WHY hasn't he downloaded pics of me? I thought that if a guy was reallly, really, head over heals in love, that he WOULD want to put a pic or two of us together up.... Again, he is a very chilled out and relaxed character..... which is why it is extra special, the times he says things like " goodnigt my sexy baby girl, xoxoxoxoxoxoxxx" and shows his " soft" side.. as most of the time, he is chilled out. Does it other any one else, if their boyfriend fails to put ANY pics of u together? Of course, there are different contexts to consider; if the guy is a big facebook user and has 9320572057209 pictures, and clearly has the time and likes to put pics of the things in his life that he wants ppl to see.... In contrast, I am sure there are guys, potentially my boyfriend, who are just not that bothered with facebook, and have no desire to jump on a social networking site to put pics of their girlfriend and them together, to show people how in love they are.... What do you all think? Is it ALWAYS a red flag to you, if a boyfriend has not yet put fb pics of you together after 6 = 7 months, about 3 months of those with you two in love? I don't think it is a red flag as yet, but he DOES have sooo many pics of me in his phone, of us to being silly, pulling faces, and.. eventually, should he feel the need to ( if he is that into me)?
BeyondtheClouds Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 (edited) Sounds to me like your guy is a private person. Since he doesn't have photos of past girlfriends or even dates, why push the envelope. Why don't upload a photo of the both of you (just one and not too lovey dovey) tag him and leave it that. Edited September 8, 2011 by BeyondtheClouds
coolheadal Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Really not too smart to post images of you and him on FB. People need to understand how the internet works. Everything you do or say or post like images stick around under your name forever. images.google is a good starting place. He's like me keep it private don't post your personal stuff online. I use to know a VP of Corp Company she never place pictures of she and her husband on her desk. She would place images of her kids on the desk but not her spouse and her. The reason why she didn't feel that her co-workers need to know who she had married or was with also to protect her husband and her from privacy.
Author Leigh 87 Posted September 8, 2011 Author Posted September 8, 2011 Thanks for sharing your perspectives! My boyfriend is not like that; it is not that he is averse to ME posting pictures of him on facebook, however, it is not something he can be bothered doing himself. He seams to love me a great deal, yet he just does not feel like declaring his love for me to people, or showing pics of us together on facebook. I just thought that if a guy was really, really, crazily in love with, and REALLY into a girl, that he would feel the urge to put pictures of them together on their facebook page... Perhaps he does love me a lot, just not enough to want to announce it much...
coolheadal Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Thanks for sharing your perspectives! My boyfriend is not like that; it is not that he is averse to ME posting pictures of him on facebook, however, it is not something he can be bothered doing himself. He seams to love me a great deal, yet he just does not feel like declaring his love for me to people, or showing pics of us together on facebook. I just thought that if a guy was really, really, crazily in love with, and REALLY into a girl, that he would feel the urge to put pictures of them together on their facebook page... Perhaps he does love me a lot, just not enough to want to announce it much... Why is that so important for him to post images of you and him together? Hasn't he told you how much he cares about you an etc.. That should be more than enough. Unless you want him to hire sky plane banner to read so and so are happily in love! You should be happy that he cares enough. FB is so not the only thing you should worry about.
Bridgey Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and we don't have -any- pictures of us together on facebook. It's really not a big deal. We know we love each other, all our friends know we're together, we don't need to display it all over facebook. Definitely not a red flag IMO.
Cracker Jack Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 It's Facebook...... Please don't look for problems that aren't there.
Janesays Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 My boyfriend and I don't even have any pictures of us together. *shrugs
make me believe Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 If he used FB frequently then yes, I could see this being a problem. But since he rarely goes on there & it's even more rare for him to post pictures, I don't think it's a big deal at all. If it reeeaaalllly bugs you, you could ask him in a sweet way to accomodate your silly insecurity (because it is kinda silly in this situation) and post a few. But it sounds like you're having some expectations here that you may want to examine. You're basically saying "well if he really loved me, he'd read my mind and know that this is the secret thing I think guys who are in love should do, and then he would just do it!" You know? There's no one way that guys who are in love act. And the FB thing is really just creating problems/drama in your head that doesn't need to be there.
grkBoy Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Leigh_87...I think you're overthinking this. Facebook is not life. It's just a site. As long as he's good to you, who cares what's on his Facebook? He's not a big user, so leave it be. I roll my eyes when I see people complain how their SO won't declare he/she is "not single" or post photos of the couple. I'm talking about people who simply don't air anything about their "status" and SO on Facebook...not the ones who say they're "single" when they're not. Leave it be.
2sunny Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Thanks for sharing your perspectives! My boyfriend is not like that; it is not that he is averse to ME posting pictures of him on facebook, however, it is not something he can be bothered doing himself. He seams to love me a great deal, yet he just does not feel like declaring his love for me to people, or showing pics of us together on facebook. I just thought that if a guy was really, really, crazily in love with, and REALLY into a girl, that he would feel the urge to put pictures of them together on their facebook page... Perhaps he does love me a lot, just not enough to want to announce it much... so he is interested in bragging about a vacation but not you... let him do it his way... or simply ask him why he doe it that way. it may be his style - if it is his style - you need to get used to it - or leave.
sm1tten Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I'm going to go with those who think you are over thinking and making a big deal out of nothing. The fact that you are measuring whether he really loves you by whether he has pictures of you on a site he is half-assed using says a lot more about you than it does about him.
EnigmaticClarity Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Really not too smart to post images of you and him on FB. People need to understand how the internet works. Everything you do or say or post like images stick around under your name forever. OK, so educate me on how the Internet works. How do tasteful pictures of you and your significant other being available to the world negatively affect either of you in any way whatsoever?
coolheadal Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 OK, so educate me on how the Internet works. How do tasteful pictures of you and your significant other being available to the world negatively affect either of you in any way whatsoever? It's spelled NO PRIVACY
serial muse Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I agree with the poster who said don't create problems that aren't there. FB is not the be-all and end-all. My guy is marrying me, so I think it's safe to say he really loves me. But now that I think about it, he hasn't got any pics of us together on FB either (except for a couple I posted in which I tagged him). He just doesn't much care about FB. It's not anything to worry about.
coolheadal Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Well I just type my full real name in images.google and sure enough my real face is shows up. Because I use FB under my real name and posted my photo. Bad mistake. I've been on the internet before yahoo and there was a few us who used a full name. Today that still follows me around. I just saying if your going to place pictures make sure you know what your doing. Everything associated with your real or screen name will always be stored somewhere on the net. Having photos of your and person your with will always be around until the next person your with. I think having a photo of you in your wallet or purse is enough to say he or she cares. You can go one step more and place the photo in your vehicle on the visor or on the dash.
EnigmaticClarity Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Well I just type my full real name in images.google and sure enough my real face is shows up. Because I use FB under my real name and posted my photo. Bad mistake. I'll repeat the question--WHY was this a "bad mistake." Who cares if a picture of you is out there to be associated with your name? It sounds like paranoia to me.
yessy21 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Dont Freak out but..... facebook is not that important. My cousin just got married to her amazingly Good looking boyfriend and she has no pics of him or her wedding. she likes to keep it private she says. people start gossip ... the kind that states... "u know that guy thats with that girl...yea well him the one with the pics all over fb with his girl...yea hes a duche someone should harrass her and tell her. " that happened when my bf put a pic of us with the kids. some girl actually told him that she heard i was a prostitute before nad was dying of aids. .... last time i checked... Im healthy as **** and havent lost my mind. lmfao:lmao:
coolheadal Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I'll repeat the question--WHY was this a "bad mistake." Who cares if a picture of you is out there to be associated with your name? It sounds like paranoia to me. It's not, well just don't want it all over the place. FB does that. Before FB didn't have this issue just only what images I've made and posted online.
rafallus Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Leigh_87...I think you're overthinking this. Facebook is not life. It's just a site. As long as he's good to you, who cares what's on his Facebook? He's not a big user, so leave it be. I roll my eyes when I see people complain how their SO won't declare he/she is "not single" or post photos of the couple. I'm talking about people who simply don't air anything about their "status" and SO on Facebook...not the ones who say they're "single" when they're not. Leave it be. I agree with every word of this.
mtber75 Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 OP! IMHO some people use FB for different reasons. Some use it as a AD for their business (their some blogger so they have thousands friends), some use it just for close family and friends (have literally 10 friends on it) and some don't use it at all because of the paranoia factor or privacy issue. I don't think this is a big problem because I don't put my relationship stuff on FB. But I put my other stuff on there. So its probably a matter of preference for your BF not to put your pics online. Besides he already have plenty of pics of you offline.
KR10N Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 I don't see how "no pictures of me on his FB" = he doesn't love you. That's a ridiculous observation. If he has no pics of his exes, then I wouldn't even worry about this. I have a friend who posts EVERYTHING (not an exaggeration) & it's f***ing annoying! Her husband sent her pics via text message of himself while overseas (private pics, mind you), he had his shirt off & yes he's ripped... she boasted on & on about how her husband is the sexiest man alive all because of his body. Long story short, I think her husband had a problem w/ it & has since removed the pics.
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