this trust thing bonding and love

[k_c_a_shovel]

i think people are very confused about these three things and this is [partly] why the 'western world' in particular is a mess

 

people dont get the psychology of how things work

 

its like watching a bunch of spinning tops

 

one thing people find hard is the trust thing

 

 

to put it simple???

 

if you like someone's spirit

hang around with them

trust they are not out to hurt you

{{{unless/untill you see a sign - then talk about it - and if they dont feel like they address the issue - keep pushing till they chuck you or deal with it

[this supposes beginning of new relationship - no children etc etc]}}}

you will bond

 

love can come from this bond

 

but everyone seems to not trust and be abusing eachother???

Edited September 8, 2011 by k_c_a_shovel

[thatone]

you don't have to be that way. normal people are not that way.

 

my gf and i talk about everything. if there's something bothering her she says it, if there's something bothering me i say it. that's why i'm with her instead of the others who i left along the way. we are of different religions, different family backgrounds, different social status, and different economic class. yet despite all of those differences, which we have discussed with each other at length, we don't fight about anything.

 

my personal idea of dating and relationships is "give people what they deserve".

 

if i find myself with a woman who is manipulative, dishonest, and selfish, that's how i'll be to her. i will play the same games she does until one or the other tires of it and walks away, but the decision is made that she is not a relationship prospect right away. if she is honest, fair, and accommodating to me i'll go out of my way to be the same way to her.

 

the solution is pretty simple, all of those selfish manipulative and dishonest people are not worth much effort. use them for sex, use them for something to do on friday and saturday nights, use them for attention or arm candy, then throw them away.

 

yeah that's harsh, but it's how the world is. there's no free lunch, and if you make a decision and apply the effort to treat people in relationships as bad as they deserve if they're bad people, or as good as they deserve if they're good people, you'll sleep like a baby every night because you won't have anything to worry about or second guess yourself about.

Edited September 8, 2011 by thatone