ivalm Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I tried OKCupid about 9 months ago but didn't really put much effort into it. Also, at the time I didn't really find that many attractive candidates in my area. At any rate, I quickly found someone offline and ended up closing my account about 3 weeks after starting it. Now, once again, I'm back on OKC, but it seems to me that my reply rate has somewhat dropped down. I remember I had about 30% reply rate (which didn't really lead anywhere, but at least I was acknowledged, and I did have a couple of conversations where I could have pushed for a meet but didn't), but this time it's worse. In the past week that I've been back, of the 23 messages I sent out I received only 3 replied, all of which really led to nothing and I had one approach from a OK looking girl but she lives too far away so we became FB friends and that's that... I'm wondering if my reply rate is lower because I've somehow made a worse profile than my old one. I don't really have my old one, but I didn't really like it either. Can I get some comments on my current one, what do you think looks good, what looks bad? http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Aughinglay/
NoReallyThatHappened Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 It seems kind of sparse to me. You are obviously intelligent if you are working on your PhD so show off your wits with your writing style. Throw in some science nerd humor if those are the types of partners you go for. With what you have now, I have no idea what we would or would not have in common. I would have no reason to write you back. Nobody wants to read the next 400 page novel, but with minimal writing it looks like minimal effort. That usually equals someone who isn't taking things very seriously. Again, for people who are seriously looking, they are not going to waste their time with someone who is only doing the bare minimum.
henderson14 Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I've heard that a few years ago, when the free dating sites weren't was well known, that guys would get better and more responses. But I could be wrong.
country_gurl Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I'd seriously lose the 2nd pic; the one of you with goo on your head.
sm1tten Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I'm going to disagree with two of the responses here and say that your profile and pictures would be fine by me. I'm going to guess that your problem might be your messages or the girls you are seeking out. But there's really no science to this sort of things, it's all very different strokes and varying mileages, and most people have a dip where they are getting not much action on the sites.
todd Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I agree you should get rid of the shirt off, crap in your hair pic. It doesn't show your best face and it doesn't make your body look fit like you said in your details page. I would probably put the pic of you in the gray sweater and the tinted glasses as your number one pic. In terms of your actual profile What are you doing with your life: - looking at the ocean and admiring art... it makes me think you are some sad lonely depressed guy staring out into the sea hoping for something to come along because you aren't actually doing something. Just staring at it from a far. Add more humor or excitement in what you are doing with your life. Add some effort. Add some action or something that actually portrays some value to the girl instead of you coming off as a charity case. First thing people notice about me: -My eloquent and urbane charm...that definitely doesn't come off in your profile so it hard for me to believe that line. Where is this eloquent charm at because I didn't notice it..? Try showcase it in some way. Its like a resume or selling yourself to an employer, you cant just say you are a hard worker and expect the recruiter to believe you. You have to portray your traits in some situation to make it more believeable. On a Typical Friday Night: Pretty much I am doing nothing because I just spent so much time in the lab that I have no stamina left to do anything when the weekend comes along... Its hard for me to believe you are actually doing anything on Saturday after that line. You should message me if: you want to talk... right... Overall: You need to do a better job at striking interest in individuals that read your profile. It's one thing to make a list or say you are good at something, its another to actually showcase that in your life with some story or line to make it more believable. Perhaps look at your competitions profiles and see what profile strikes you and makes you more interested in reading further. What would you rather read. What are you doing with your life: Rock climbing.. or Crowding into a car with a bunch of my friends and driving a couple hours just to climb some jugs and ascend some tight cracks in the great outdoors. (Sorry I am just throwing some random example out but you get my point. Be more detailed and make it more interesting to read) Lastly, 23 messages in one week? What do you do in lab all week, sit on OK checking out profiles and sending out messages? Or are they the same cookie cutter messages that most women throw just delete.. please don't tell me its a simple "Hi :)" Your messages should be showcasing that you actually read their profile and feel there is a connection to be made between the two of you. Girls get a lot of messages a month and become excellent at tossing away the trash. Again, stand out more.
Author ivalm Posted September 8, 2011 Author Posted September 8, 2011 I agree you should get rid of the shirt off, crap in your hair pic. It doesn't show your best face and it doesn't make your body look fit like you said in your details page. Ok, ok -- removed! The from top shot was sort of silly, but what I was trying to get is that I do things like pie fighting, which a lot of people don't do... I would probably put the pic of you in the gray sweater and the tinted glasses as your number one pic. Hm, MyBestFace (3 runs) would disagree, for some reason the picture that I have as first scores significantly better (low-mid 70s for my first picture, low-mid 60s for my grey sweater picture). In terms of your actual profile What are you doing with your life: - looking at the ocean and admiring art... it makes me think you are some sad lonely depressed guy staring out into the sea hoping for something to come along because you aren't actually doing something. Just staring at it from a far. Add more humor or excitement in what you are doing with your life. Add some effort. Add some action or something that actually portrays some value to the girl instead of you coming off as a charity case. Totally did not see it in that way, perhaps you're right, I'll try to rework that. First thing people notice about me: -My eloquent and urbane charm...that definitely doesn't come off in your profile so it hard for me to believe that line. Where is this eloquent charm at because I didn't notice it..? Try showcase it in some way. Its like a resume or selling yourself to an employer, you cant just say you are a hard worker and expect the recruiter to believe you. You have to portray your traits in some situation to make it more believeable. It was supposed to be tongue in cheek, as I think the question is a bit silly... oh well.. On a Typical Friday Night: Pretty much I am doing nothing because I just spent so much time in the lab that I have no stamina left to do anything when the weekend comes along... Its hard for me to believe you are actually doing anything on Saturday after that line. Heh, well, it's actually true, I do usually go out on Saturdays, even Sundays, but rarely (I don't actually remember when!) Fridays.. but I guess I can rework that.. You should message me if: you want to talk... right... Removed that.. but I don't know what to say here... everything I can think of seems so cookie-cutter, not that what I had was better. Overall: You need to do a better job at striking interest in individuals that read your profile. It's one thing to make a list or say you are good at something, its another to actually showcase that in your life with some story or line to make it more believable. Perhaps look at your competitions profiles and see what profile strikes you and makes you more interested in reading further. I never read guys' profiles, but from girls' profiles most that are long are tedius/banal/cliche, and I think some of the shorter ones are more interesting, actually. This is why I tried to make it short, although I agree, including more specifics and qualifiers would help my case. What would you rather read. What are you doing with your life: Rock climbing.. or Crowding into a car with a bunch of my friends and driving a couple hours just to climb some jugs and ascend some tight cracks in the great outdoors. (Sorry I am just throwing some random example out but you get my point. Be more detailed and make it more interesting to read) Point taken Lastly, 23 messages in one week? What do you do in lab all week, sit on OK checking out profiles and sending out messages? Or are they the same cookie cutter messages that most women throw just delete.. please don't tell me its a simple "Hi :)" Your messages should be showcasing that you actually read their profile and feel there is a connection to be made between the two of you. Girls get a lot of messages a month and become excellent at tossing away the trash. Again, stand out more. Hm, I was going for 1-2 lines that were open ended questions referencing something in profiles. I did it in 3 different days, and generally it took me about 3-5 minutes to make one. I didn't have to search a lot since I essentially messaged the top 23 people in my match search who live within 25 miles and looked decent. What took most of my time on OKC so far was answering the damn questions, which took perhaps an hour-and-a-half, but now that that is over, it hasn't been time consuming. I've checked it may be 4 times in the week, apart from the account setup/questions answering, perhaps 30-40 minutes each time...
Author ivalm Posted September 8, 2011 Author Posted September 8, 2011 (edited) It seems kind of sparse to me. You are obviously intelligent if you are working on your PhD so show off your wits with your writing style. Throw in some science nerd humor if those are the types of partners you go for. With what you have now, I have no idea what we would or would not have in common. I would have no reason to write you back. Nobody wants to read the next 400 page novel, but with minimal writing it looks like minimal effort. That usually equals someone who isn't taking things very seriously. Again, for people who are seriously looking, they are not going to waste their time with someone who is only doing the bare minimum. Right.. I think todd hit the right note when he mentioned that what I really need is to include more qualifiers/etc. I am a bit skeptical of long profiles because those are hard to pull off. Looking at female profiles, I thought that the ones that were long were for their majority.. erm... boring. But I'll definitely think some more... Edit: Added some more qualifiers, going to think of more later on.. Edited September 8, 2011 by ivalm
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