DontWorryBHappy Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) Hey everybody, I don't come here as much anymore because I'm actually feeling really good. But I came here A LOT when I was in the deep end of my despair over the most devastating break up I ever experienced. I had loved my ex more than I ever loved anyone, but one day he told me he didn't love me anymore, and it was over. Couldn't even give me any other reason for it ending... just bam, didn't love me. It shocked me and devastated me. I was crying regularly and walking around completely void of happiness for a good four months. Nothing seemed to make it better... I was practically suicidal at times because the pain hurt so much. But one thing I have to tell you.... you get to acceptance in a series of stages. And often times, by the time you're there you haven't realized that you've been plowing through those stages the whole time. I just remember going through several periods of time when I would try to accept it, but it was almost like I was just trying to convince myself that I could accept it.. but wasn't TRULY accepting it yet. I think that's common though. It wasn't until I did a couple things that I finally felt myself let go for real. The first was to let go of any "hope" for that relationship to be re-established and STOP blaming myself for whatever. I told myself that however things happened, they happened that way for many reasons, and I can't think about it anymore. And secondly, I drastically changed my environment. I moved to another apartment, got several new friends, went out dancing and having fun at least a couple times a week, and I got a job! I started to feel like I had a brand new life that was totally different from the way I was with my ex. This was a life that he wouldn't dream of me having now.... I'm happy! I go to work, talk to tons of people, am open to dating other people, I have new friends, and the ex no longer takes over any part of my life, and is only vaguely in my mental space... as in, he might pop into my head on an occasional basis. If I walked outside and saw my ex kissing someone else, I dont know that I wouldnt flinch a little bit, because I'm human, but I do know that it wouldn't affect my life. And if you saw me a month ago you wouldn't know I'm the same person. So yeah.... I just want to say my heart goes out to anyone who is feeling the way I felt not too long ago..... I've come so far, and I know you all will too. Just try to keep the faith. I know that might seem impossible now, but one day you'll wake up, and you'll realize that you're alright, and you're better. So tell yourself that you're washing your hands of the past... and all that pain you're feeling right now is "punishment" enough for whatever mistakes you think you made... so no need to punish yourself further by worrying about them and putting your life on hold. I hope this helps somebody . Edited September 7, 2011 by DontWorryBHappy
ruffianheart Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Thank you for giving me hope. I am very happy you are healing.
Thieves Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 God. Just got to the end of your post, and I just wish you would've kept writing... Such a good post, full of hope with a realistic point of view. Thank you for this. I need more inspiration and reminders like you've given us. Feel free to make more posts talking about your experience whenever you like!
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