dazed20 Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Hey, My situation: Broke up a month and 10 days back, Begged, made a complete fool myself, still trying to build myself but better than how i was a month back, met once with partial NC with conv. though messaging but becoming less frequent as days pas, And now in full NC as of 3 days back. She is in texting terms with me and wished me on my bday and say she stil "cares for me".(yadaa yadaa) She is gonna go on a trip somewhere on the 17th of sept. I though of trying to woo my ex with a guitar song/songs, not imposing but just saying that i am sorry, not a way of showing i am miserable without her by just doing the gig on a cozy night when she wont expect me(actually an amatuer, even which she knows, but can work it up good for a song or two with lot of practise) and taking whatever she tells back as a very friendly gesture. The whole thing of me travelling and doing this part might show my desparity but i think i could pull it off with a very casual way of showing the love as this is the only time i could get to do this, which certainly cannot be done in my college or when at home. I would go back to NC again after this, but really tempting to woo her in a way that i will never get a chance to. What do you guys think about it. Please give me your valuable views on it, don't got enough time.
wolf1one Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Dude, don't do it. Your whole plan reeks of desperation. And it kinda sounds like you haven't even learned a thing from the breakup. What do you have to offer her that's new? At least answer this before making any grand gestures that will be looked on as creepy by most women. And after answering this question ... take some more time to figure out whether you are willing to be humiliated again.
wolf1one Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I read my post and thought it was a bit harsh. But fyi, I once was broken up with and after 2 months, I found out that my ex was hanging out at a bar every Monday night with her best friend. So I went there, with JUST the intentions to tell her that I wanted to be friends. Dude when she arrived, she threw a scene when she saw me, and we got kicked out of the bar. Her friend even told me that she didn't understand why my ex freaked out, but that I should probably just give her space. So maybe just give your ex more time before showing up. It will give you a chance to really think up a better plan, if you want to continue courting her.
DustySaltus Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 This is not a movie, it's real life. Showing up somewhere and playing a guitar is not going to change the fact that SHE thought her life was better off without you. You have to stay NC for yourself, to begin the healing process. There are just too many things thta could go wrong in this scenario and you'll be back to square one. You shouldn't have to play guitar or show up somewhere to WIN her back. If she realizes that she made a mistake and is willing to do whatever it takes to make it work, THEN you have something to talk about. Otherwise, no pun intended...you're playing the wrong tune. She made the decision, it's up to her to rectify it. Stick to NC.
Author dazed20 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) THanks for your inputs, i knew my "plan" was a little hazy and hence asked you guys out here. Well, i do know that she is not evil enough to make a scene and the maxiumum she can do is kinda walk away, but if i take it cooly and dont make a scene with her by telling her that "i did all this travelling.... for you", i think it wouldnt be a huge problem in the NC period. I know, not Movie like, but all i am trying to tell her that we had our good times and that i am no longer in a state to beg or plead with her say i am unhappy without you as i am gonna continue working on myself and not a big deal if she says something a little negative. I mean, hope you get the picture. I know this is not gonna change her mind, but may be something to ponder over herself, this trip is my only chance to slightly influence, slightly as no other time this kind of setup can happen. I am like gonna stalk her after that, its a just a subtle way of giving a shady region in her mind which could spark something later on. And its gonna be arranged when she is not around people, so not giving the chance to embarass her too. Edited September 7, 2011 by dazed20
wolf1one Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Man I don't think you understand. No matter what you say ... if you bust the guitar, start serenading her, then tell her that this was in no way meant to get her back, and was meant to tell her that you are moving on ... she is going to think one thing: "This guy is bonkers and I need to stay away." Just really think about how conflicting your message is. It's like John Cusack holding the radio above his head in front of Ione Skye's window, while making out with Mini Driver on the night of high school reunion. Yeah dude whether or not you get the chick flick references ... IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!! I'm not being harsh because I'm a dick ... I'm trying to prove a point man ... what you want to do is going to suffocate that girl and ruin your chances even MORE. And then you add pressure on her by obligating her to listen ... saying things like ... "but I travelled all the way here for you...you must listen." That does not bode well with the fairer sex. Dude ... whatever is in your head ... you have to understand that we all here have thought it ... and some have dared try it. Your plan will 95% end in rejection. She is not going to ponder about your gesture ... she is going to hate you for it. And I don't say "hate" that loosely. The girl I was telling you about was with me for years, and she did everything for me. She was the best/sweetest girlfriend anyone could have ... yet she still flipped out because she felt suffocated of ME JUST BEING THERE. Your ex changes when she leaves you. She doesn't want to think about you right now. She needs space. Respect and understand her alone time and decisions. That's what real romance and love is. Look if you truly want a second chance with this girl, just listen to us and give her some space. This is your grand gesture. Trust that she knows you are moving on because silence speaks volumes. Trust that she knows you miss her because you already pled for her. Trust that love does not need star-crossed lovers. Be rational, my man.
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