Mikhail Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 She broke up with me 3 months ago, after 5 yrs relationship ( we are both 25y ). Reason was she said, there is no more spark between us ( need to point here that in the last 3 months of our relationship, I was very depressed due to some personal problems, and I was very "closed" and somehow distant ) . She changed her life drasticly, before she didnt have that many friends, now she has lots, before she didnt really go out, now she doesnt miss the ocasion etc . I kept calling once a day for two weeks, trying to reason, but stopped after I realized there is no point. During this time she told me that she is in love with someone else ( great,right? ). I started to read forums, get-ex back books etc, and I stopped contacting her, and started my healing process. I contacted a few times because it was necesary but most of the contact came from her. In the past 6 weeks, she contacted me every week once, mostly to ask for favors,I beeing a nice guy, responded kindly ( damn it ! ). During these contacts, she told me she was never together with that guy, but now she is in love with some other guy, who lives 1000 miles away. And that this is the one for her. At this point I cannot say if they had a meeting, because I dont know. All I know is that she said that she is single, but loves the guy, and wants to be with him and no one else. I cant find words to explain how I felt when I heard this. She also pointed out that she cares for me, but does not love me, and that we are friends now ( statement to wich I didnt respond ). Enlight me please, how can someone fall in love two times in 2-3 months? Is she confused? Does she know what love means? Is it just lust that she feels? Or needines, desperation? I am trying to understand all of this...but I fail ! I love her, I am disapointed and hurt, but I am trying my best to move on. I dont call her, but I respond when she calls. When we talk, I try to be positive and happy, I make jokes etc, not showing my true feelings. What should I do? No contact at all? Or keep this once per week contact? I want her back. But I dont know how to approach this situation. Any advice and insight will be great! Thanks
wilsonx Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 It sucks but its time to stop being the nice guy. It happens. NC is the only way. Let me spill this out for you, she is no longer your friend. You have to go cold NC and stop doing her favors. Just focus on you and move on. All I have to say is it sucks and the pain gets worse before it gets better. Now this is very important and something I had trouble with in the beginning. Do not respond to anything no matter what, no phone calls, no texts, no emails, block her from facebook, etc etc. This is going to be one of the hardest things you will have to do. You are asking some very good questions and for answers... read both threads in my signature. Read the Gigs one first then the other one second.
Author Mikhail Posted September 9, 2011 Author Posted September 9, 2011 "Now this is very important and something I had trouble with in the beginning. Do not respond to anything no matter what, no phone calls, no texts, no emails, block her from facebook, etc etc. This is going to be one of the hardest things you will have to do." If I do this, she will never ever contact me because of her pride and ego. I know this for sure. She will never chase or come back out of her initiative. If I didnt belive in the posibility of reconciliation, I would of never posted here.But I also assume that my mind is expecting that someone should point me out to a small source of hope. She is one of those ppl that say, if he wants me, he should try to conquer me. I know that I should simply let go...and close the door...but deep down in myself I know that I shouldnt close the door. So thats the conflict in my mind. I've read all the guides and posts about Gigs available here and on other forums. They are very helpful...no doubt in that. Some days are great, happy, fun....but other days...i can feel the hell burning all around me.
wilsonx Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 If I do this, she will never ever contact me because of her pride and ego. I know this for sure. She will never chase or come back out of her initiative. If I didnt belive in the posibility of reconciliation, I would of never posted here.But I also assume that my mind is expecting that someone should point me out to a small source of hope. She is one of those ppl that say, if he wants me, he should try to conquer me. I know that I should simply let go...and close the door...but deep down in myself I know that I shouldnt close the door. So thats the conflict in my mind. See what I bolded? GOOD! She has feelings for a guy thats 1000 miles away. You are willing to sacrifice your dignity and pride for someone like that? For me (**** im starting to talk like homebrew), I want someone body would take the initiative from time to time and chase me. If you read what you typed, she's very egocentic "I want somebody to conquer me" It is the guy's responsibility to chase in the beginning but after that both people should be in harmony with very little push pull. Let her go man, she's interested in a guy 1k miles away. It's an obsession not love, it will eventually fade. There are 6 billion people on the planet with approximately 3 billion women, you will be alright, I will be alright, just keep your head up and keep looking forward
Author Mikhail Posted September 10, 2011 Author Posted September 10, 2011 Than you for the posts. I honestly think that you are right. You are not the first person that is advising me to do this. It hurts like hell...but I have to delete her from my life in order to move on.
crackster Posted September 10, 2011 Posted September 10, 2011 My ex is that she told me she dont love me any more and move on after 2 half years i heard nowt back!! i never text her and SHE wont text me even if she wanted to! her ego is to big even if she did want to get back 2geta she wont text me first! and i wont text her... so it looks like am just chucking my chances away! but why should i text her and do the running! i love her so much! but she hurt me so much 2!
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