robertdawson Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Looking at this: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/dating-tips/three-things-women-hate-single-guys.html it says DON'T do this: "If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just met, and she says 'Hey, I have to go', he might say 'Aw, well… um …OK. Um, will you call me when you get home?'” Say you have a first date with a girl. When it is over, what are some good general guidelines to follow? I'm just going to throw out a bunch of possible things a guy may think about doing. 1) Is saying "let me know when you're home so I know you got back safely" or is that something you only say to a girlfriend or a girl that is going on flight or a long trip? It seems like this is wuss-like behavior, even though you may be genuinely concerned about her safety. 2) Should you say nothing but "well, I'll see you later"with the intention of calling a couple days later to set up another date? 3) Should you say "well, that was fun. Let's do it again sometime" with the intention of calling in a couple days? 4) Should you say "well, that was fun, let's do something again next weekend. I'll call you." 5) Should you say "well, that was fun. Let's do it again sometime, I'll call you and let you know" with the intention of calling in a couple days? 1) Seems like something you'd only say to a girlfriend and/or a girl that was going on a flight or long trip or something. 2) This would be acting like it was no big deal and making her wonder whether or not you enjoyed yourself, perhaps making her anticipate a call. Seems like it may be a good idea, but not sure if being completely silent about whether you had a good time or not is a good idea. 3) Seems like the "safest" and best way in my opinion. 4) Good to let her know it was fun, but immediately suggesting something AND telling her you will call her may signal "oh my god I want to be with you again, I'm obsessed" 5) Seems like it may be a good idea to say you had a good time (instead of saying this by freaking out and saying "I love you! Will you go out with me again?!") and mentioning doing something again some time, but I'm not sure if telling her you will "call and let her know" sends too much of a signal. Obviously if a girl likes you she is going to want you to contact her. If you wait a week or two to contact her though she is going to forget about you or be mad at you I'm guessing (feel like she was blown off). However, if you're jumping the gun and saying "let's go do something next Saturday at 4!" or calling later that day (or the next day) after a date it seems like you're going to come off as the guy who is obsessed and will turn her off. Thoughts?
QuixoteTilting Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Thoughts? My first thought is that I have been transported to some forgotten hellscape where grown men act like 16 year old girls and type pages of BS about "what to say after a date". My second is that if you had fun you should say you had fun, and if you plan to call her you should say you plan to call her, and then you should say goodnight and stop thinking about this.
Andy_K Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 You're massively over-analysing. But that's okay because you've got to start learning somewhere. 2,3,4 and 5 are pretty much identical, and all fine. I agree that 1 is a bit OTT. If this is a first date, the more important thing is that you at least went as far as kissing. If you did, a slight change of parting sentence won't much any real difference at all. If you didn't, then you really should be focusing on why not, rather than how to say goodbye.
thatone Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) My first thought is that I have been transported to some forgotten hellscape where grown men act like 16 year old girls and type pages of BS about "what to say after a date". hahaha, i was thinking the same thing. here's the answer you're looking for OP... Obviously if a girl likes you she is going to want you to contact her. If you wait a week or two to contact her though she is going to forget about you or be mad at you I'm guessing (feel like she was blown off). However, if you're jumping the gun and saying "let's go do something next Saturday at 4!" or calling later that day (or the next day) after a date it seems like you're going to come off as the guy who is obsessed and will turn her off. Thoughts? the only thing obvious is all of what you typed above is bullsh*t. stop reading sh*t printed by women that tells you to act like women act. not only is it stupid, it won't work. you want a second date? ask her at the end of the first one, don't wait around for 2 or 3 days for her to go meet someone else. that's BS. and of course sh*t printed by women will tell you to do this, because it benefits them, it gives them the opportunity to keep you as a backup plan and go flirt up some other guy. don't let them do that, be a man. you ask her out again after the first date as you're leaving, and if she says yes you set a date/time. if she says maybe i'll let you know, you say call me when you figure out your schedule. if she says yes call me to figure out our schedules in a couple of days, you call in a couple of days. but with any answer other than "yes how about friday" you disappear FOREVER. you do not call, you do not text, you do not do sh*t until she has agreed to the second date and you have the date/time set in stone. if you're supposed to call/text back to arrange the next date/time then your next text should include that and that only. "hey, you figure out your schedule so we can plan when we're gonna go out next?" again, any answer other than "yes", you disappear. you aren't some poor bastard trying to slay the dragon climb the tower and rescue a princess here. you're trying to get a second date. she has boobs and a vagina. you have male attention. you give yours away for free she's gonna walk all over you, just like you would do to her if the role were reversed. Edited September 7, 2011 by thatone
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