reimeivn Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 so the ex said that he just doesnt love me anymore. which is what i saw for a long time already. but it still hurt. last night i had a dream about him. i woke up thinking that because i didnt let him have chinese friends and always wanted him to be doing something with me during the weekend, he dumped me. so i am writing this down to make myself feel better. i hope you can help too. he was my first love, and girl acts that way with their first love. i saw other girls, and i am no way close to the way they keep their boyfriends. only to some chinese people, he hang out with whoever he wants, even when i come over to spend the time with him. i also dont call or text or question who he hang out with. i just wanted him to focus on me and have quality time like i do for him, and at the time he didnt get it. having a gf means less time for other friends. because he was not into my life, or what i do, i had to spend more time with him in order to get close to him. that what i did unconciously at the time. he was always so into whoever else is there, especially chinese, since they think he is so cool. American thinks he is loser, just for your info. but i love him the way he was so i didnt care. but anyways, he laugh with them, he smile, he is free, he has never been that way to me before, even when we started dating. later into the relationship he said that he was not himself because he worried i wouldnt like him. so first he was nervous to really enjoy time with me, then he just doesnt because he himself cant lie anymore. so there, i just said all the things that should make me feel better. why do i still feel really sad. really lonely. i dont like myself. i feel like because of him i had became a bitter person. i tried to hard to keep him, i lost friends, i lost myself, and he gained all he ever wanted.
Author reimeivn Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 and by the way i didnt spend that much time with him. during the week he sees me for like 15 minutes per day. no phone calls, no text. he likes to play a lot of video games also so he would just come back to his place and play games.
silly_panda Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Wow... Kinda confusing... What's with the chinese and all..? Why you didn't wanted him to have chinese friends..? Anyway... They always say first cut is the deepest... I had experienced that myself too... But from what I see, you love him more than he loves you... And you know that... I don't really see what guilt do you have in your post... You didn't do anything wrong from what you had written... Well... Just a little clingy... But that's no big deal... You know what you should do to move on rite..? Just don't think about him so much... Hang in there...
Author reimeivn Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 they gang up on me. they talked bad behind my back. for some reasons, mainly that no american think he is cool to hang out with, he hanged out with a bunch of them after that. i tried to be friendly at first but they laughed at my face and ignored me. so after that i just let they do whatever, i dont try to have fun with them anymore. i didnt tell him not to hang out with them, but it still makes me upset when i ask him to go see a movie with me, he declined, he never said yes to any movie i want to see mind you, but then was all excited to go see the same movie with them. i was just sad that all. i told him why. i didnt nag or anything.
silly_panda Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Poor girl... That's hard for anyone to take... Well... Look on the bright side... At least you know who treats you good and who doesn't rite..? Move away from those negative ones and start getting involve with positives once... I would say if your ex mix with them (negative once), then he is no better himself... Birds of the same feather flock together... Hang in there...
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