gbadboy Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 My ex and I broke up in Feb but maintained a weird friendship afterwards. We weren’t together but we hung out alone still and I think that caused him to think we were still together even though we were never intimate. And when he found out I was hookin up with other people, he accused me of cheating even though we were single. I thought that was unfair. But eventually we resumed a friendship (but didn’t hangout one on one) 2 months ago, he was convinced by my friend to “follow his heart” and look past everything and ask me out again, but when he asked me out again, I said “no”. (I said no at the time b/c we are arguing over something he did to me at the club 2 nights prior when he was dancing with his xbf in front of my face very vulgarly. I now realize I shouldn’t have said “no”, but I acted out of emotion and anger rather than logic, and regretted my answer a few days after and tried for him back to no avail)…….. So in other words, what happens when you broke their heart first, realized it was a mistake a few days later – asked for them back, but they’ve moved on out of anger and hurt and as a result they are the ones breaking your heart now and applying NC on you and do not even want a friendship right now because of the hurt you caused? Its not like he fell out of love and hence wants to be friends and just move on . On the contrary he was in deep love with me but I broke his heart when he asked me out again. I quickly realized my error and now that I want to work it out a few days later, he’s the one rejecting me breaking my heart. Its like duplicate actions we are both taking. So the net result is – we are BOTH heart broken from each other and BOTH hurt by each other , we are BOTH hurt that we were rejected by each other and we BOTH have a difficult time being around each other and we BOTH cannot be friends with each other at least especially right now. This is a unique situation because usually one party is able to be friends and hang out because their feelings are gone , while the other party is heart broken and finds it difficult to be friends with that person But in my case, clearly he has feelings if my rejection makes him so hurt he cant even be around me. So hurt that he can’t be my friend right now.Yet, I’m the one that feels rejected and Im the one that feels he hurt me. We are both hurt because we rejected each other! Weird. Thoughts? Note - I think I'm going NC on him going foward. We made peace the other day and had a great conversation - which he indicated he's very hurt by me and dislikes me a lot for trampling all over him. At the same time, he hugged me , i cried, he wiped my tears from my face, he called me his "puppy dog" etc. etc. - and at times he would just stand and stare at me, stare for minutes - and stuff was going through his head. So i know feelings are there but its buried under anger. Also, he said friendship would be in the cards down the road - but now now. Should I accept an eventual friendship ? Do I go NC and let time try to change things? Of course, I wouldn't hold out , id move on and if he comes to me, then he comes. But i dont think i can be his friend. I love him too much to be friends with him - even months and years from now, i wont be able to be his friend. If i cant have him as a bf, then i want nothing with him. I love him too much and its so tough not being around me - it has affected me deeply and I've lost motivation for most things - crying almost all the time. To complicate the matter, he is friends with some of my friends , in fact his family kind of kicked him out of the house so he's stayin at my friends place for a while - and while that bugs me as they have to sleep in the same bed, I have asked my friend if there's anything i need to know? My friend said of course not and not to believe what other ppl gossip about. There is a 15 yr age difference between my ex and my friend. Honestly, i cant see them in anything, it just wouldn't be feasible and the guilt would be too much. Plus I know my ex didnt lose feelings for me, he just can't get over the hurt. And that friend is the same friend that's been trying to get us back together from the onset of the break up. Thoughts?
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