ThsAmericanLife Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 this is totally false and Im sure you have nothing substantial to back it up as its something you made up on a whim or too many rejections over time put this in your head. the major difference between men and women and sex is that women have much better self-control than men and wont put out unless she has the emotional connection with the man before allowing the physical part to take whole. men dont really care about emotion as its strictly physical before anything else and with less repercusions since men cant get pregnant. You both are totally off base... Sheesh...
Woggle Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 It sounded like you had the attitude that men deserve it. Maybe I am wrong.
Tayla Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Sexual promiscuity is not anything new or a revelation. The media and the mentality of the generations aide in getting the word out. I disagree that its increased,its just being noticed more. Back in my grandparents time of dating it was considered "cheating" if the lady was seen in public with a gent that was not her kin. As Ricky Ricardo would say..."She had ALOT of explain'n to do! THe definition has changed and so has the way folks go about it, its not that its more prominent though in one gender specific.
visualbasicide Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Sexual promiscuity is not anything new or a revelation. The media and the mentality of the generations aide in getting the word out. I disagree that its increased,its just being noticed more. Back in my grandparents time of dating it was considered "cheating" if the lady was seen in public with a gent that was not her kin. As Ricky Ricardo would say..."She had ALOT of explain'n to do! THe definition has changed and so has the way folks go about it, its not that its more prominent though in one gender specific. promiscuity when you are not in a committed relationship ith anyone is one thing, promiscuity when you are, or someone else you are involved with is, is a whole nother can of worms I think.
bluenightowl Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 ... and about my friend. Yes I have. I won't be an accessory to a lie. Alot of people use their friends as a 'foil' for their misdeeds. And I figure that anyone who would cheat on their spouse won't have a second thought about stabbing me in the back either. FYI... I just turned down an opportunity to be the OW to a pretty powerful local politician... whom I still need to work with. He apologized just today for acting inappropriately. I told him politely that I'd like to find ways to support each other without risking our reputations and integrity. Happy?? Very good on you and good to see that the guy realized his mistake. I doubt you would have been the typical OW as I think you would have lost interest and respect for him fairly soon. In this case, you lost interest before it happened which is good. To my knowledge the OW lives in a fantasy, almost a chemical high of infatuation than never quite ends, because the guy never makes a decision one way or another until he is forced to, and then 99% of the time stays with his wife leaving her totally devastated from months on the infatuation high.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 It sounded like you had the attitude that men deserve it. Maybe I am wrong. Not sure where that came from either. I said the 'rules' that used to govern women's behavior have changed. That's all. But to be honest, I'm glad the rules have changed. I don't believe in double standards and gender based stereotypes. As the rules have changed, we observe both men's and women's behaviors have changed regarding ALL KINDS of behaviors... ie who does and doesn't want relationships... who does and doesn't cheat. You name it. I rather like debunking biology is destiny theories.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Very good on you and good to see that the guy realized his mistake. I doubt you would have been the typical OW as I think you would have lost interest and respect for him fairly soon. In this case, you lost interest before it happened which is good. To my knowledge the OW lives in a fantasy, almost a chemical high of infatuation than never quite ends, because the guy never makes a decision one way or another until he is forced to, and then 99% of the time stays with his wife leaving her totally devastated from months on the infatuation high. Unfortunately, I already lost respect for him. Before this, I was a strong political supporter who would be willing to spend volunteer time. Now, not so much. He probably lost my vote too. Not sure why he is wanting to shoot himself in the foot this way. There is a part of me who is worried for him... Not worried enough to be the OW though. Worried enough to try to stay his friend perhaps. Not sure. We'll see.
visualbasicide Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 biology is destiny If this we're true we would all be clubbing each other in the heads and raping the women. Then again when I look at society at large, I cant very well say this isn't really what's going on, conscious effort or not.
soserious1 Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) I did it to say that many women on this board act like porn is some horrible thing a man does but completely justify a woman outright cheating. Women don't like it when men look at porn but we don't like getting cheated on either so if they don't care about our feelings why should we care about theirs? Why bother getting married or committing at all? Seriously, marriage is a bum deal for both sides. Why not just stay single and screw whomever we please whenever we please? no "cheating" no harm, no foul. Edited September 7, 2011 by soserious1
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Very good on you and good to see that the guy realized his mistake. I doubt you would have been the typical OW as I think you would have lost interest and respect for him fairly soon. In this case, you lost interest before it happened which is good. To my knowledge the OW lives in a fantasy, almost a chemical high of infatuation than never quite ends, because the guy never makes a decision one way or another until he is forced to, and then 99% of the time stays with his wife leaving her totally devastated from months on the infatuation high. Unfortunately, I already lost respect for him. Before this, I was a strong political supporter who would be willing to spend volunteer time. Now, not so much. He probably lost my vote too. Not sure why he is wanting to shoot himself in the foot this way. There is a part of me who is worried for him... Not worried enough to be the OW though. Worried enough to try to stay his friend perhaps. Not sure. We'll see.
Saul Goodman Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 My point I suppose is that they have to struggle uphill or against the tumult their entire lives. They have to start from square one every single time. We however are forced to face reality, learn from our own history and are driven to become better, more realistic, well adjusted people because of it. I will agree with you there. My wife is acting pretty crazy at the moment, and I'm left to clean up the mess. The things is, when you are in a delusionary state, you don't realise that you are in a delusionary state. Whatever suffering she inflicts on herself and others will be outweighed by her own overall happiness. No matter what. For the external observer, she's screwed up her life. To her, she's building a new one. And in many respects, she's correct. I've known some cheaters that were fairly down to earth (in many ways) about what they had done. I've also known some cheaters that were completely full of it. Depends. I sometimes wonder how easy life would be if I could just throw away all my responsibilities and act like an unempathetic and remorseless _sshole.
visualbasicide Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I sometimes wonder how easy life would be if I could just throw away all my responsibilities and act like an unempathetic and remorseless _sshole. you and me both but unfortunately once you see the truth, you can't un-see it no matter how bad you want to. It would save me untold amounts of personal struggle and emotional turmoil.
Woggle Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Not sure where that came from either. I said the 'rules' that used to govern women's behavior have changed. That's all. But to be honest, I'm glad the rules have changed. I don't believe in double standards and gender based stereotypes. As the rules have changed, we observe both men's and women's behaviors have changed regarding ALL KINDS of behaviors... ie who does and doesn't want relationships... who does and doesn't cheat. You name it. I rather like debunking biology is destiny theories. I never believed in double standards on this. It is wrong when men cheat and it is wrong when women cheat. Betraying a person's trust like that is just disgusting to me either way.
Richard Friedman Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Women are hypergamous. Biologically want the highest status guy(in looks, charisma) they can get, but these guys have tons of options(high roller) or aren't good providers(the "bad boy"). Women are forced by practicality to settle with a guy they can tie down(probably a safer, less exciting guy) but they're still attracted to the big fish. By staying with the safe guy while being a member of the high roller/bad boy's harem they get the best of all worlds. The difference is today thy aren't judged so harshly. 30 years ago they'd get ostracised by their own families while today, they get half of everything. There's no incentive to be faithful. And this isn't some grand conspiracy either. Women don't think "I'm gonna tie down a provider and fvk a bad boy"(well the first part might be done consciously lol). It's just biological urges combined with the realities of what guys they can get and what guys they can keep coming together.
Woggle Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Women are hypergamous. Biologically want the highest status guy(in looks, charisma) they can get, but these guys have tons of options(high roller) or aren't good providers(the "bad boy"). Women are forced by practicality to settle with a guy they can tie down(probably a safer, less exciting guy) but they're still attracted to the big fish. By staying with the safe guy while being a member of the high roller/bad boy's harem they get the best of all worlds. The difference is today thy aren't judged so harshly. 30 years ago they'd get ostracised by their own families while today, they get half of everything. There's no incentive to be faithful. And this isn't some grand conspiracy either. Women don't think "I'm gonna tie down a provider and fvk a bad boy"(well the first part might be done consciously lol). It's just biological urges combined with the realities of what guys they can get and what guys they can keep coming together. This is why it is better for a man to be a bad boy or a player. Clearly he ends up the winner in the end. Having a harem of adoring women vs a cheating wife who is not attracted to you. Let me think about the better option.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 This is why it is better for a man to be a bad boy or a player. Clearly he ends up the winner in the end. Having a harem of adoring women vs a cheating wife who is not attracted to you. Let me think about the better option. Define the term 'winner'... having been around plenty of aging bad boys or players, I'd say they are not winning at all. Their di*ks get soft starting around 45-50.. right around the peak of their 'earning ability'... and then the ladies you mention don't want them. Bye-bye 'harem'. I've worked around mostly all men my whole adult life. I've never witnessed any of the top men with a harem. They are 'top' men in part because they picked a good woman and consistently showed his appreciation for her. And the vast majority of women don't cheat.... as you know.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Women are hypergamous. Biologically want the highest status guy(in looks, charisma) they can get, but these guys have tons of options(high roller) or aren't good providers(the "bad boy"). Women are forced by practicality to settle with a guy they can tie down(probably a safer, less exciting guy) but they're still attracted to the big fish. By staying with the safe guy while being a member of the high roller/bad boy's harem they get the best of all worlds. The difference is today thy aren't judged so harshly. 30 years ago they'd get ostracised by their own families while today, they get half of everything. There's no incentive to be faithful. And this isn't some grand conspiracy either. Women don't think "I'm gonna tie down a provider and fvk a bad boy"(well the first part might be done consciously lol). It's just biological urges combined with the realities of what guys they can get and what guys they can keep coming together. with OLD, there is no incentive for either men or women to be faithful. They can make up some bogus story about why their marriage ended and carry on.
Woggle Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Define the term 'winner'... having been around plenty of aging bad boys or players, I'd say they are not winning at all. Their di*ks get soft starting around 45-50.. right around the peak of their 'earning ability'... and then the ladies you mention don't want them. Bye-bye 'harem'. I've worked around mostly all men my whole adult life. I've never witnessed any of the top men with a harem. They are 'top' men in part because they picked a good woman and consistently showed his appreciation for her. And the vast majority of women don't cheat.... as you know. Even if they end up alone it is better than being a cuckold and a betrayed husband. At least you are then alone with your dignity and self respect and can enjoy your hobbies. Faithful married men just get nothing but a wife who cheats on him.
visualbasicide Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Even if they end up alone it is better than being a cuckold and a betrayed husband. At least you are then alone with your dignity and self respect and can enjoy your hobbies. Faithful married men just get nothing but a wife who cheats on him. My own situation has made me cynical enough to seriously think there could be a lot of truth in that statement. Then again, in it's death throws, whats left of my inner child says it ain't so.
Elysian Powder Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Even if they end up alone it is better than being a cuckold and a betrayed husband. At least you are then alone with your dignity and self respect and can enjoy your hobbies. Faithful married men just get nothing but a wife who cheats on him. I agree. I have, all the time , around me, men who did the right thing, and were real men. Child-support, alimony, jail, emotional trauma, physical diseases and so forth. I used to be a ''real man''. That was until I was shafted and now, learning from these older guys what not to do, I bang young women and disappear into the night. Far more profitable.
visualbasicide Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I agree. I have, all the time , around me, men who did the right thing, and were real men. Child-support, alimony, jail, emotional trauma, physical diseases and so forth. I used to be a ''real man''. That was until I was shafted and now, learning from these older guys what not to do, I bang young women and disappear into the night. Far more profitable. Sadly, I can't take this route either. I would just turn the ones I leave behind into either me, or my ex, my conscience won't allow it. I'd rather be part of my solution than the worlds problems.
Woggle Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I am very happy with my wife but reading stuff like this just sends chills down my spine. I also notice how many of the women who post here are promoting this and I wonder if it is even worth it for a man to try and find love these days.
sally4sara Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 I am very happy with my wife but reading stuff like this just sends chills down my spine. I also notice how many of the women who post here are promoting this and I wonder if it is even worth it for a man to try and find love these days. Can you please quote who is promoting it? I wouldn't want to overlook any of that subtle misandry you're always seeing everywhere. All I read was men and women discussing why it happens more today than in the past and didn't see anyone saying it was a good thing that more people should do.
sally4sara Posted September 8, 2011 Posted September 8, 2011 Women are hypergamous. Biologically want the highest status guy(in looks, charisma) they can get, but these guys have tons of options(high roller) or aren't good providers(the "bad boy"). Women are forced by practicality to settle with a guy they can tie down(probably a safer, less exciting guy) but they're still attracted to the big fish. By staying with the safe guy while being a member of the high roller/bad boy's harem they get the best of all worlds. The difference is today thy aren't judged so harshly. 30 years ago they'd get ostracised by their own families while today, they get half of everything. There's no incentive to be faithful. And this isn't some grand conspiracy either. Women don't think "I'm gonna tie down a provider and fvk a bad boy"(well the first part might be done consciously lol). It's just biological urges combined with the realities of what guys they can get and what guys they can keep coming together. This is a full on load of crap. Neither men or women are "hypergamous". The concept of mating for status was born of the change from hunter/gatherer society to one built on agriculture. The moment we thought of parcels of land as belonging to this person or that person, we immediately grew concerned with heirs and inheritance. As well we didn't experience mass starvation till we stopped following migrating food sources. So remove women from gathering the 80 percent of what we survived on while the men hunted (sometimes succeeding and sometimes not), declare some land your own, need an heir, realize the previously promiscuous tendencies ALL humans had will require you to watch some woman like a hawk day and night or trap her and only give her food if she has sex with you so you can get that heir is what started women down the path you're talking about with seeking high status mates. Of course owning land leads to war so the bigger stronger fellas were the ones more likely to win and retain their land/food source. The more food and land a man had the less likely she would starve so of course women began to want the high status man over one with little holdings. But our origins began before the onset of agriculture and our origins were that of people who favored novelty, promiscuity, and didn't give two hoots who fathered what kid or whether or not our sex partners had other sex partners. Quit reading Thomas Hobbes conclusions; he is from a time where they didn't even know what germs were. Quit resting on Darwin; he lived in milquetoast Victorian England and was scared of sex and intimacy with women. Quit regurgitating antiquated conclusions.
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