todd Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I have been feeling strong emotions for my ex gfs roommate and friend over the past week. I always said I wouldn't date my exs friends but this girl just blew me away. I have always had an off limits policy on girls attached to my ex but I just don't know with this girl. BTW I still am friends with my ex. How should I approach this situation. Talk to my ex, ask out the girl, or leave it alone because it could be more trouble then its worth? PS: My ex and I have always had a policy of not dating each others friends so really there is only two options, talk to the ex about our policy or just leave it be and not go after her.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Hmm, this is a tough one. Maybe your ex would be fine with it? Honestly, I'd just ask her. Then again, if you two like each other, why involve the ex? Even if you two are friends, there's really no point in worrying about something like that. It's your life!
Author todd Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 They are roommates so it is in a way, unavoidable. Also, its the idea of what if this new fling doesn't end well and then I have to deal with it every time I go to hang out with my ex or her brother who are both my friends now.
Cee Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I would pass on this if the only time you talk to the roommate is while visiting your ex. Unless you and this woman have an independent relationship, it's not worth it. If you hang out with this woman in another place without your ex and have an independent relationship, then it might be worth pursuing. Although I would take it slow and make sure there is interest on this woman's part. No reason to create drama if there is no interest.
Author todd Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 I am completely over my ex and she is over me. We are just good friends now. The only reason we had this rule is so it wouldnt create unnecessary tension in our lives if we ever dated eachothers friends and then broke up with them. After two months of dating my exs roommate I do not want to come to find out I do not like her as much as I thought, and then have to deal with breaking it off but still having her around and uncomfortable. On the other hand, I do not want to pass up the chance of something more. .
sm1tten Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I would proceed with caution. It seems like you value your friendship with your ex and her brother a lot and if so, then why put it at risk? Every time you date someone there's a chance that it's not going to work out and there'll be awkward times. Seems like you're just putting yourself into an unnecessarily weird situation here. Not to mention the fact that it's doubtless going to make things awkward between your ex and everyone else. In fact, I wouldn't proceed with this one at all.
Author todd Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 I would proceed with caution. It seems like you value your friendship with your ex and her brother a lot and if so, then why put it at risk? Every time you date someone there's a chance that it's not going to work out and there'll be awkward times. Seems like you're just putting yourself into an unnecessarily weird situation here. Not to mention the fact that it's doubtless going to make things awkward between your ex and everyone else. In fact, I wouldn't proceed with this one at all. Yeah, this is what I have been thinking all along. In the end I value the close friendships I have acquired over the years more then the potential for a relationship with someone else. If nothing else I am definitely going to play this one very cautious and feel it out a little more. Perhaps in a couple months I will lose feelings for this girl and it will not even be an issue anymore.
thatone Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I am completely over my ex and she is over me. We are just good friends now. The only reason we had this rule is so it wouldnt create unnecessary tension in our lives if we ever dated eachothers friends and then broke up with them. After two months of dating my exs roommate I do not want to come to find out I do not like her as much as I thought, and then have to deal with breaking it off but still having her around and uncomfortable. On the other hand, I do not want to pass up the chance of something more. . she is your ex, she doesn't get to make rules anymore. backbone, get some of it.
grkBoy Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I have been feeling strong emotions for my ex gfs roommate and friend over the past week. I always said I wouldn't date my exs friends but this girl just blew me away. I have always had an off limits policy on girls attached to my ex but I just don't know with this girl. BTW I still am friends with my ex. How should I approach this situation. Talk to my ex, ask out the girl, or leave it alone because it could be more trouble then its worth? PS: My ex and I have always had a policy of not dating each others friends so really there is only two options, talk to the ex about our policy or just leave it be and not go after her. Talk to the ex. If you two ended on a mutual thing and there isn't any strong attachment anymore, then talk to her. I know if a woman and I ended it and we both weren't feeling much anymore, but months later she tells me she likes my friend, I'd tell her to go for it...and tell my friend the same when he asks me if it's ok. If an ex "betrayed" you or royally hurt you, then I can see a logic to staying out of that...but if there isn't any deep emotion anymore and it's "just friends" then why not?
sally4sara Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I am completely over my ex and she is over me. We are just good friends now. The only reason we had this rule is so it wouldnt create unnecessary tension in our lives if we ever dated eachothers friends and then broke up with them. After two months of dating my exs roommate I do not want to come to find out I do not like her as much as I thought, and then have to deal with breaking it off but still having her around and uncomfortable. On the other hand, I do not want to pass up the chance of something more. . I don't get how dating your ex's roomie and it potentially not working out is any more of a risk than dating the roomie period. It could get awkward between you and your ex no matter how over each other you are simple because if you're up in her house making monkey sounds with her roomie it could be weird for her. So if the two of you had anything resembling an actual relationship when you two did date, it would be considerate to let her know about having an interest in her roomie just so it doesn't come out of left field and get weird before anything even happens. Whether things get weird between you and the ex or you and the roomate (or both ladies), your position in the circle of friends you share with them could alter so make sure how interested you are in the roomie is worth that risk no matter what might end up happening.
Author todd Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 she is your ex, she doesn't get to make rules anymore. backbone, get some of it. She didn't make the rules alone. I set those boundaries with her as well. If I didn't have a backbone I would of just threw my boundaries out the window last night and made a move on the roommate without hesitation. My ex isn't ruling over me just because I am considerate of my friends opinion and the potential of causing more problems then its potentially worth. The risk I see between dating my friends roommate is the connection I have with my friends. As it stands, that house is a place where I can go hang out without worrying about relationship problems. If I were to date the roommate and we didn't work out, it could cause a potential problem of being able to hang around the house anymore.
Cypress25 Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Dating your ex's friend is one thing. That would be a "proceed with caution" situation. But dating your ex's roommate? I think that's going too far. These girls live together. I mean, would you be happy if your ex started dating your roommate? Imagine if she was always coming over to your house to have sex with another guy, right down the hall.
Author todd Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 That's very disrespectful you would even fantasize about doing that. That's just low. I could probably list some lower things then "considering" the options of dating my friends(ex gf) roommate that I have strong feelings for.. Like I noted before though, I think its definitely something I don't want to mess with.
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