mrgoodcat Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) I'm trying to figure out what happened.... So, there is this girl who works in a store that I thought liked me. I figured that since she'd always throw glances at me or try to start up conversation whenever I was at the checkout. So, couple days ago, I thought I'd talk to her after she gets off from work. So, I did, and we actually ended up talking for 1 hour. I didn't ask for her number there, but I asked if we can continue this some other day and she said she'll get off work same time on Sunday(this past Sunday). Well, Sunday came and she wasn't there after work. I waited half hour and left. I didn't bother going to the store for a couple of days and just saw her today. I said hi, and asked her where I can find and item... Kinda didn't feel like saying much. I was feeling sore about that Sunday, but thought I might give a shot again and see if I can schedule a date. So, I waited for her again, only to find a short dude walking her home. Felt like a fool and very lonely all at the same time. What sucks even worse is that I didn't really have a crush on this girl, just thought she liked me and she seemed really sweet, so maybe it won't be that bad to go on a date. So, the question is whether A) she just didn't tell me that she has a boyfriend and the whole "meet me on Sunday" thing was a practical joke and then she asked her boyfriend to walk her home to show that she's with someone? Or B) she is playing REALLY hard to get and asked her friend/acquaintance to walk her home to make me jealous? I know the answer is A, but I guess I'm just venting. I know for fact I'm never looking at that silly chick again. Edited September 7, 2011 by mrgoodcat
Feelin Frisky Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I don't know why you'd assume the cruelty of choice A. There's no reason to think she was having a laugh at you from what you said. Several things may be true. But the bottom line is she's not true to her word and that most often is "the hint" you're supposed to take that it ain't happening. Do take it too hard. It happens all the time--even to hunks with a heart of gold like your humble respondent.
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) Yeah, I'll forget this tomorrow, but this was extra-frustrating while it lasted. My theory that going after nice 6/10 type girls won't be frustrating is totally busted. Indeed, I should have taken that "hint" and not bothered showing up again to see her after work. To think of it, it was not a subtle hint either. Meh. Edited September 7, 2011 by mrgoodcat
Feelin Frisky Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 crap, I meant "don't" not "do". I hate when that happens. Anyway, keep your head up and soldier on. Her loss.
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 I don't know about keeping on. Few more of these shenanigans and my self esteem rating will go down. And I need self-esteem in my career as an entrepreneur. I am a confident guy, and I don't like to be played up like that. That's why I circumnavigate women in general and recently have been going for those that seem to be locks. Except, they're not, as my story has demonstrated. But I appreciate support. I was expecting some flaming, actually.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I don't know about keeping on. Few more of these shenanigans and my self esteem rating will go down. And I need self-esteem in my career as an entrepreneur. I am a confident guy, and I don't like to be played up like that. That's why I circumnavigate women in general and recently have been going for those that seem to be locks. Well, if you're successful as an entrepreneur you will likely encounter a better cut of meat eventually. Don't skip any opportunity to get seen being the man behind the vision.
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 It has been 4 hours since that nonsense, and I'm pretty much over it. I think this adds to my theory a new element: failing getting girls that you're not really crushing on, while unpleasant at first, has an advantage of having a very quick recovery time period. I feel almost benevolent towards that girl, cause she spared me the effort of making an effort.
Andy_K Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 To be honest, I think waiting around to meet her after work several times without even having her number is kinda lame. Also, if you haven't exchanged numbers, it's not really a 'set in stone' meeting, nor does she have any way to cancel if she's finishing early or whatever. You were setting yourself up for a fall, I'm afraid. You started off great. You talked to her for an hour. That's more than long enough for it to be okay to ask for her number, and for her to know if she would want to date you or not. So what you should have done was taken her number then, and texted/called a day or two later to ask her out for a drink or something. That way if she flakes or bails, you don't waste your time, and if she turns up you've got a proper date ready to go rather than another conversation which may or may not lead anywhere. You've got to move things forwards.
Emilia Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 To be honest, I think waiting around to meet her after work several times without even having her number is kinda lame. Also, if you haven't exchanged numbers, it's not really a 'set in stone' meeting, nor does she have any way to cancel if she's finishing early or whatever. You were setting yourself up for a fall, I'm afraid. You started off great. You talked to her for an hour. That's more than long enough for it to be okay to ask for her number, and for her to know if she would want to date you or not. So what you should have done was taken her number then, and texted/called a day or two later to ask her out for a drink or something. That way if she flakes or bails, you don't waste your time, and if she turns up you've got a proper date ready to go rather than another conversation which may or may not lead anywhere. You've got to move things forwards. This. No good b**ching and moaning when really she wasn't a date. She didn't owe you anything, you didn't even exchange numbers. You have no way of knowing whether she is a flake because she had no way of reaching you. That guy could have been anyone with her Next time ask for a number, communicating your interest is the only way to have any kind of expectation from another person
Author mrgoodcat Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 @Emilia and Andy Yes, and yes. Problem, IMO, was that I didn't like her enough to want to have any kind of date commitments just after talking to her. I agree, that was my own setup for a fail, and I would have asked for girl's number when first talking to her...if I really liked her. Was waiting for her after work 3 times lame? Yes, and I felt like a douche doing it. Do you think if it's the right girl, I should ask her for the number at her workplace if those are the circumstances? I think so.
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