sher871 Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 My husband and I are in the process of divorce after 15 years of marriage. I told him I wanted the divorce this past winter because I came to terms to the fact that I am gay. He has also had a history of being controlling and verbally abusive at times. We are living together because it took him so long to accept. We also have pre-teen children. After I came out to him back in the winter, he persistently tried having sex with me...getting on top of me, begging, touching me--despite my demands to stay away. This stopped after a few months. However, we took our kids "as friends" on a vacation recently. He was all over me, touching me, pressing onto me from behind, slapping my butt, pinning me down, begging for sex. I demanded he stopped and would slap him away. He would mock me sarcastically mimicking me by saying, "stop it, NO, don't touch me". Finally I got mad enough and warned him that I would call the police..he stopped. He is looking for a new home, but I have a feeling this is going to take a long time. I have a feeling he may try again. Is this typical behavior for a man to try to have sex with someone who is clearly "over" her husband?? I understand his life as he knew it was shattered and it is an emotional time for him; however, I also feel so violated when he won't stop touching me or trying for sex.
Ballerfamily Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 he has lost something he thinks he wants. he will be crazy with behavior like this till he comes to grips with being rejected...this is very hard to accept..he can't understand how you can reject him..for a man, one of the toughest things to accept...then later, he will slap himself for pining,etc after his love who has rejected him(you being gay, would make it a little easier then an affair or just plain rejection) he or most men wouldnt want to touch their spouse after them having sex with another man rejection is unbielably hurtful...the poor guy, he is in for about 2 yrs of immense pain...you want to forget an move on and have the single,time, of your life, but something holds you back, and then when you least expect, the tears and sorrow just flow...its so embarrsing, to be around someone or in public...he will be so angry at one point that he deals with this, and you move on like nothing from a mans point of view
Saul Goodman Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) That is not normal behaviour. That is _sshole behaviour. Especially since he has a history of being abusive. Maintain your boundaries as you are doing now. Don't hesitate to call the police if he becomes too aggressive. I believe that what he is doing falls under sexual assault. I've faced rejection before, but I would never pin my SO down or grope and mock them if they wanted their space. ^ Maybe this sounds extreme but...be careful. Edited September 7, 2011 by Saul Goodman
Steen719 Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Well, I have to say this. Today, after a really ugly fight yesterday, is the first time in over a month that my STBXH has not asked me for sex. I do not want to stay married to him anymore, but it is because of his behavior, EA (maybe more) with FB old gf or maybe 2 old gf and one of these is a woman he had an affair with 14 years ago. He has many, many young women as FB friends, strippers, dancers, etc. and in general has done really scummy, crappy things to me. All of this and I took care of him during a long illness and liver transplant. I would not have sex with him if he were the last man on earth and I was hornier than I have ever been and I have told him that. I cannot, cannot, cannot understand the constant request for sex, so I am right there with you, sher, and I feel for you. H does not try to force himself on me, but he asks for sex at least 20 times a day..telling me that "you know you would enjoy it". It sickens me, really. I am so sorry you have to face this. It is a feeling that is hard to describe to anyone else, how your H could treat you this way. I understand, sher, and I feel for you. Saul gave you good advice. My best to you.
Saul Goodman Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I believe that what he is doing falls under sexual assault.Remove the "I believe that" part. Anyways, I genuinely hope that this doesn't escalate into something worse.
Recommended Posts