FeelingEmptyNow Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 My fiancee of close to three years is moving away to finish college and be closer to her family. She's in her early 20's, I'm in my mid-late 20's. I don't know what to make of our relationship right now. About two years ago, she moved out of state with me, because of my career situation. Basically, gave up her life, school, moved away from her family just to be with me, which I think about every single day. Everything was great, she would be a transfer student, going to school, I'd advance with my career opportunities, fairy tale story. I got into famliy business and started working close to 60 hours a week. I took her for granted. We loved each other so much, talked about getting married, having children, buying our first house together, etc. I neglected her, didn't pay attention to her, started not caring about my looks, didn't take her talks seriously. I was so busy with work that I forgot that the reason why I wanted success was to make her happy, and now it seems too late. A few weeks ago, she started acting depressed, hating her job, which she always has and telling me she's very unhappy in Florida. I told her hang in there, be strong, we'll get through this, and tried to do as much as I could to support her. But, she's made the decision to go back home out of state, and finish school. Not sure where we are. She has taken the engagement ring off not because she wants to she says and asked me if I want her to keep it on. I was very confused, very emotional. She says that she wants to finish school, get her degree, make everybody proud including me, and come back down to FL and marry me. We both broke down in tears and said we didn't want to leave each other but she had to leave FL because it was driving her crazy down here with her hating work and not being able to go to school because of residency issues. She has close to 60 credits back home at a university. She would lose most of it down here and would have to start back up from the start pretty much. Also, she wanted to finish school because her parents are not well and she wanted to make them proud and see her graduate before they pass. She said she loves me so much, that she wishes that we could be somewhere else, but knows that's not possible because I'll be opening a business soon. She'll come visit whenever I want and school allows, and after college, she wants to come back down, start everything over with me, and wants to spend the rest of her life with me, get married to me, have my children, and she knows that for sure. I told her it's going to be very difficult keeping that promise but agreed with her because I've never loved anybody this much before. I'm not sure where we're at. Broken up but not broken up but not engaged but love each other. She took the engagement ring off her finger and when I said I should pawn it she pleaded with me to could keep it and give it back to her when she comes back. It's very difficult sharing this with someone else, but I feel so empty right now, I don't know what to do but to share it with strangers. Thanks for listening.
Chi townD Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 What's disturbing is that she tells you she still loves you and when she comes back, wants to marry you and start a family...yet, she goes back to college not wearing her engagement ring. Even, if you bring it up now and she says she'll wear it, it will probably end up in a jewelery box at her place. Sorry dude, but I think she's stringing you along.
sweethoneyri Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 I'm sure she loves you but in what way now? Taking the ring off contradicts her confessions of always-and-forever. She's clearly looking for some sort of reaction from you but I'm not sure what exactly. It's not the same situation but it's almost as if she wants to see if you'll uproot and go with her like she did for you...without knowing if that's what she necessarily wants. Only time will tell...Communication is so important when faced with a blow like this. Even if it hurts, I hope you 2 can honestly clear the air about the truth underneath it all.
Author FeelingEmptyNow Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 What's disturbing is that she tells you she still loves you and when she comes back, wants to marry you and start a family...yet, she goes back to college not wearing her engagement ring. Even, if you bring it up now and she says she'll wear it, it will probably end up in a jewelery box at her place. Sorry dude, but I think she's stringing you along. I'm sure she loves you but in what way now? Taking the ring off contradicts her confessions of always-and-forever. She's clearly looking for some sort of reaction from you but I'm not sure what exactly. It's not the same situation but it's almost as if she wants to see if you'll uproot and go with her like she did for you...without knowing if that's what she necessarily wants. Only time will tell...Communication is so important when faced with a blow like this. Even if it hurts, I hope you 2 can honestly clear the air about the truth underneath it all. Forever is very hard to do, but we both have parents that have been married only once and for over 25 years, so we know the benefits of that. If it doesn't work out, what can you do? That's life. I already know how hard that is going to be but if it works out I'll have something that'll last me a long time, possibly for life, and I can live with that. I may have to go through a few skanks to see where my head is at also, but she'll be done with school in less than two years, maybe even a year, and I don't see myself falling in love anytime soon with anybody else. Same with her. I can convince her to stay and let her be miserable down here, or she can go back home finish school, get some time to clear her head before jumping into a lifelong commitment/marriage. She said it's better that we do this now, then do it after we get married, because everything was very fast for us. I would rather not get married at all, then get married and have everything fall apart because it was rushed. Stringing me along would be if I was sitting in the corner, moaping, pining, crying all day, while she was out partying and having the time of her life, but that's not the case. I am very focused on what I need to do with business, and she is very focused on school. Life is cruel because it brings two people together, lets them fall in love, and then throws everything it possibly can to make it not work. I don't know, it's all confusing to me, but I think it's the best option that I have right now is to let her go and be happy. If she comes back to me, then I have a keeper. If not, then she knows how lucky that other girl will be.
Recommended Posts