broke my engagement to be with her, she then breaks up with me...

[sixfeetunder]

Didnt really think i would be posting anything on a website like this ever, but i guess everyone at some point felt that way.

 

So the story goes...i was engaged with someone, until i met this one girl. Never felt anything like i did with her, but it was complicated and we both knew it. Lots of ups and downs, but in the end i broke off the engagement to be with her. I said some stupid stuff prior to that, but i was confused and all. But in the end i broke off the engagement to be with her

 

Family problems continued, and it put alot of pressure on the relationship. So i decided i needed to fix the problems with the family once and for all, so that i could be with her and there would be no problems. Here is where the problems come in, in my effort to solve the problems with the family i disincluded her entirely. I didnt tell her what was going on, because i felt like i didnt want to burden her with my problems. I was confused, and overwhelmed with all the issues. And i didnt talk to her for a week, because i was trying to deal with the problems at home.

 

By the time i had fixed everything at home, the damage was done. She thinks i ignored her and blew her off. I explained to her that i was trying to make thing better at home with my parents, and dealing with the after effects of breaking an engagement. But she thinks i put her last, and blew her off. According to her, if i loved her, i would have told her when everything was happening. No matter how much i say sorry, apologize or try to explain the situation she doesnt believe me.

 

We've been through alot, and she has done alotttt to be with me. But after fixing everything, she broke up with me, because she thinks i blew her off. I didnt cheat or do anything of the sort. I love her to pieces. I ended my engagement to be with her, and she broke up with me after being together for a year and a half

 

She broke up with me once already, but i insisted that this could work, and we got back together. A month later she says she doesnt feel the same anymore saying i ruined everything, blaming me for everything...

 

Currently doing the NC, since she insists on being left alone. What do i do? Im confused, and hurt....and nothing makes sense anymore...Any advise is helpful.

[Portisphish]

If she was the one for you, she would understand what you did and why you did it wouldn't she?

 

Sometimes people blame others because they don't want to take any responsibility.

 

the bigger problem might be why you were engaged to someone that you weren't sure was right for you. I know I need to still, at 42, get myself where I want to be...improve in different areas of my life before I attempt to be in another relationship. Maybe you need to do the same before you hurt someone else.

[wilsonx]

Didnt really think i would be posting anything on a website like this ever, but i guess everyone at some point felt that way.

 

So the story goes...i was engaged with someone, until i met this one girl. Never felt anything like i did with her, but it was complicated and we both knew it. Lots of ups and downs, but in the end i broke off the engagement to be with her. I said some stupid stuff prior to that, but i was confused and all. But in the end i broke off the engagement to be with her

 

Family problems continued, and it put alot of pressure on the relationship. So i decided i needed to fix the problems with the family once and for all, so that i could be with her and there would be no problems. Here is where the problems come in, in my effort to solve the problems with the family i disincluded her entirely. I didnt tell her what was going on, because i felt like i didnt want to burden her with my problems. I was confused, and overwhelmed with all the issues. And i didnt talk to her for a week, because i was trying to deal with the problems at home.

 

By the time i had fixed everything at home, the damage was done. She thinks i ignored her and blew her off. I explained to her that i was trying to make thing better at home with my parents, and dealing with the after effects of breaking an engagement. But she thinks i put her last, and blew her off. According to her, if i loved her, i would have told her when everything was happening. No matter how much i say sorry, apologize or try to explain the situation she doesnt believe me.

 

We've been through alot, and she has done alotttt to be with me. But after fixing everything, she broke up with me, because she thinks i blew her off. I didnt cheat or do anything of the sort. I love her to pieces. I ended my engagement to be with her, and she broke up with me after being together for a year and a half

 

She broke up with me once already, but i insisted that this could work, and we got back together. A month later she says she doesnt feel the same anymore saying i ruined everything, blaming me for everything...

 

Currently doing the NC, since she insists on being left alone. What do i do? Im confused, and hurt....and nothing makes sense anymore...Any advise is helpful.

 

These threads are getting amazing. Second one today that has made me /facepalm myself and say WTF?

 

I am going to use the same saying that I used in the other WTF thread. Did your parents ever teach you not to play with fire? What happens when you do? You get burned right? See something?

 

You were engaged! You had an obsession! An obsession is not love. It destroys love. Look at what you said, you had a lot of ups and downs in the relationship with her. It wasn't going to work. If something is too good to be true, oh it is. You met the legendary Delilah and she just brought down your life. Next time keep your emotions in check and think before pulling triggers

[FeelingEmptyNow]

karma is a mother

[lalalandman]

hey so, what's up with your ex-fiance?

[CaliBabe]

Agree with Wilson. If she loves you and cares for you, she would understand the situation right? She is CLEARLY using this as an excuse to get rid of the relationship. Is there a possibility there could be someone else?

 

I mean come on, you were engaged, you had someone who loved you... FOR LIFE. Think to yourself, would your ex-fiance understand that you were trying to fix things at home? I'm sure she wouldn't have left you for something so small. SMFH!

[M2155]

Wow, you're story is interesting.

 

Yes karma is a b$#%@ but I don't know what your relationship was like with your ex-fiancee. It's better to break it off than cheat or pretend you're thoughts were not somewhere else. For all we know you were honest with her and we can't knock you on that.

 

That said, did you have family problems when you were with her? Because she obviously stood by you during that time. I stood by my ex during his challenges as well and if your recent ex felt the same for you as you do for her (doesn't sound like she did) then she would have been there for you as well. I know men have a tendency to go off in a corner and solve problems by themselves and it sounds like your intentions were good, but I probably would have taken it the same way she did. And that is a valid reason to break up (I wish I had been as smart as she).

 

There is really nothing you can do. You've told her how you feel and it's up to her to come to forgive you and decide if you are someone she wants to take up with again. But like someone else said, you had some rocky times and she knows she can find a happier relationship. You should too. Some lessons are hard and Karma is the greatest teacher.

[2sure]

You keep repeating in your post that you broke off your engagement to be with her.

 

OK, obviously you were not meant to be with the woman you were engaged to so that was good for you to do.

 

But then you say you were with this other woman for a year and half with lots of ups and downs.

 

That stands on its own. Both for her and for you. To keep coming back to

"I broke off my engagement to be with her" sounds like after all this time that she owes you something. If you have conveyed that to her at all over the last year and a half...let alone as many times as you said it in your post...I mean, you broke off your engagement because it wasnt right for YOU.

 

That may be why she is done.