mrpager Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Alright, I'm going to be completely honest in an effort to receive completely honest (and hopefully helpful) feedback. My girlfriend and I have been living together for over 6 months now, and have been exclusively dating for over a year now. We do everything together, and things are absolutely incredible. However, there is one item that she doesn't want to fully commit on...not flirting with other men. She is very outgoing, beautiful, and funny, and we do plan to marry. She actually made the choice to leave her life on the west coast to move in with me on the east coast. I am once divorced and am wondering if I am just being overly cautious with her because I do not want to go through another divorce?? She says that she does not intentionally flirt with other men, but it makes her feel good when other men flirt with her. Says that it is just her personality to be friendly with everyone. She just took a new job in an environment that is predominantly men, and I find myself constantly wondering what she is really like when I am not around when she is constantly getting this type of attention. I truly do trust that she would not physically cheat on me, but for some reason I am finding it very difficult to trust that she is not flirtatious at work...Even when I ask her in conversation if the guys there are being nice and treating her with respect, she gets extremely defensive and confrontational. Getting mad at me for even asking...why does she try to make me feel bad for asking something so simple, something that I guarantee she would be asking me if the roles were reversed? Not sure how to proceed, but I really want to make sure she is everything that I think she is before I propose to her in the future...
Osiris1234 Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Thats kinda fishy if you ask me. That shouldn't be a big deal to answer a simple question. id watch your back dude, also id sign a pre-nup just incase.
analystfromhell Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 Anyone would appreciate others flirting with them I think- however it certainly does make the SO feel uncomfortable. What seems odder is the insistence you not be involved. Have you been able to break through or understand what's behind the defensiveness?
TBH Posted September 9, 2011 Posted September 9, 2011 i think its important to establish exactly what kind of 'flirting' is going on. For example, I have always worked in a male dominated industry and there was always lots of 'banter', innuendos etc. but I dont consider this flirting. Flirting in my mind is when a person flirts verbally AND physically directly at you, eye contact etc. not just a generalised sauciness in the workplace. Also I have always generally got on better with men than women, and i've had a few man in the past think that I fancy them just because we were chatting and I was being friendly, not flirting at all! In fact I find it impossible to flirt with someone I do find attractive because they tend to make me nervous. so would you say its the 'banter' type or the physical type? I think its kind of immature to want to be attractive to all men in general, its an attention thing. albeit totally harmless but if you think she is giving off proper signals then i would be unhappy with that.
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