placeholder Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 It's been about four months since the break up and well over two since we've last spoken. Around three months ago she made an attempt to get her items back in which I said I'd return them later that day. I was busy and it wasn't my job to make returning the items my first priority. Well she "forgot" she was going to see her rebound BF that night and told me she was coming by while I was still busy and pick up her items. Told her I couldn't do it, yet she drove by anyway. Except she didn't park, she saw me and kept on driving. Later citing that she "was too afraid she'd yell at me" or something childish and that was why she didn't stop for her items. Later that evening I still went by her house and tried to drop the items off, no one was home and that was that. Present day: Get a message from her new boyfriend about how she *still* wants her items back. I stopped caring about whatever of mine was left with her months ago. And after what happened last time and considering I have no desire to see her. Am I obligated to return these items or can I just keep moving on with my life?
NordicStripes Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 I wouldn't care if I were you. With my first ex I kept some of his favorite stuff (some cd's, t-shirts,...). When he asked me if I had them, I told him I didn't and he probably lost them himself. I actually threw them in the trash With my latest break-up (we lived together) I gave him back all his belongings (put them in a big pile on the floor for him to pick up). I also made sure that he got all the photos of the two of us together and all the items that would remind him of me and us together. Why would I want that extra (emotional) baggage? Actually, don't you think it would be nice to get rid of her stuff? Either by returning to them or throwing them away (throwing away is very satisfying, I promise you :-) )
ChelleBelle Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Hello Placeholder, Always remember where women are concerned, to be bigger than the moment. Be better than the situation, especially where X girlfriends are concerned. She wants her goodies back? no worries. U can do this in a dignified and gentlemanly way. She maybe anxious and expect a 'situation' to prove something to her new bf. You are better than the situation. You will offer every assistance to return her goods. Make a point of turning up when her bf is there and look as smart as you would on your wedding day. Look as hot as you could ever be. Of course, you want her X to 'feel bad about what she has lost' and of course her BF should feel \inadequate' and Hell, you are going to feel good. No scenes though. Just dignity and Class. Seize the sunshine on a rainy day and walk away
Author placeholder Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 I for the longest time wanted to throw out her items, and maybe I'm too nice for it, but I figured I'd feel guilty. Though that does raise the question: I still have some sentimental things, such as her favourite photo of us, the "symbol" of our love she gave me. Should I return those as well? Saves me from feeling lousy for just tossing them and forces her to remember and take care of it. Also, I do plan on dressing nice and looking as good as I can just to be the better person. I want to let him see how much better off I am even if she was able to rebound after me.
coltsfan1 Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Hello Placeholder, Always remember where women are concerned, to be bigger than the moment. Be better than the situation, especially where X girlfriends are concerned. She wants her goodies back? no worries. U can do this in a dignified and gentlemanly way. She maybe anxious and expect a 'situation' to prove something to her new bf. You are better than the situation. You will offer every assistance to return her goods. Make a point of turning up when her bf is there and look as smart as you would on your wedding day. Look as hot as you could ever be. Of course, you want her X to 'feel bad about what she has lost' and of course her BF should feel \inadequate' and Hell, you are going to feel good. No scenes though. Just dignity and Class. Seize the sunshine on a rainy day and walk away Placeholder, this is perfect advice. Do this and move forward like she was nothing to you. I wish I would have acted like this during my breakup.
danceallday Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 ChelleBelle - that is such great advice. I will heed it when I am ready to give my ex back his things.
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