jrstar1860 Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 So this is going to be a little lengthy. Long story short, I was with this girl since Oct-10-07 and about 2-3 weeks before july 6th we got into an arguement and I made some pretty bad decisions. I ended up getting a PFA filed on me and it was a 3 year PFA. I feel pretty awful for what I did to her, and we haven't been in contact since June something and I still think about her every day and do miss her but I've been trying to focus on myself and fix the things that I've done wrong to lead me up to the situations. I actually wish I would of done a no contact in the first place to get my head straight and focus on what I need to work on to better myself, but it's been awhile since I've talked to her personally but what's confusing is this. She put a pfa on me for 3 years, breaks up with me, etc etc. But my best friend who she absolutely hates matter as fact they both hate each other, she contacts him and she knew about me getting my 2nd dui and asked if I went to jail yet, and if I was dating any other girls etc etc. What does this exactly mean?? She puts all this stuff on me and hasn't bothered to contact me personally but is asking my friend if i'm dating anybody but yet when he brings up my name she says she's over me and blah blah blah. And supposibly my friend said her facebook changed from single to "it's complicated" so I really have no idea. I'm not looking to date anybody because I need to get my stuff straight before I focus on relationships and get my mind back in working order. I've also avoided all the places she goes too just so I don't have to see her, and don't look at her facebook or any of that.. I know most girls will say guy's don't have feelings but that definetly isn't true. Lol. Thanks!
gbadboy Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 What she's telling your friend is irrelevant. She knows whatever she tells your friend will eventually get back to you. Its a mind game. Nonetheless, its irrelevant what she's telling b/c if it was something of true importance (that is, wanting to get back) , she could come to you directly. If you're looking to get your stuff straight as you say , then do yourself a favour and tell your friend to stop telling you anything about your ex. Also, dont ask your friend if he's heard from her etc. You don't need to know. Once again, if she is ready to reach out to you, let her do that on her own. Go NC and allow her to miss you and she eventually will.
Author jrstar1860 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 That's what I was thinking. I've already told my friend not to mention he just happened to be drunk and brought it up too me.. Even if it was being a "mind game" what did she think that was going to do to me? It kind of bothered me but yet it didn't. Hard to explain, still am working on myself, definetly not ready to date or "smash" it with another girl by any means. But this has been pretty good stuff to learn from because you never fully appreciate love until it's gone, so lots of things I figured out on my own on what I need to do.
KathyM Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 So this is going to be a little lengthy. Long story short, I was with this girl since Oct-10-07 and about 2-3 weeks before july 6th we got into an arguement and I made some pretty bad decisions. I ended up getting a PFA filed on me and it was a 3 year PFA. I feel pretty awful for what I did to her, and we haven't been in contact since June something and I still think about her every day and do miss her but I've been trying to focus on myself and fix the things that I've done wrong to lead me up to the situations. I actually wish I would of done a no contact in the first place to get my head straight and focus on what I need to work on to better myself, but it's been awhile since I've talked to her personally but what's confusing is this. She put a pfa on me for 3 years, breaks up with me, etc etc. But my best friend who she absolutely hates matter as fact they both hate each other, she contacts him and she knew about me getting my 2nd dui and asked if I went to jail yet, and if I was dating any other girls etc etc. What does this exactly mean?? She puts all this stuff on me and hasn't bothered to contact me personally but is asking my friend if i'm dating anybody but yet when he brings up my name she says she's over me and blah blah blah. And supposibly my friend said her facebook changed from single to "it's complicated" so I really have no idea. I'm not looking to date anybody because I need to get my stuff straight before I focus on relationships and get my mind back in working order. I've also avoided all the places she goes too just so I don't have to see her, and don't look at her facebook or any of that.. I know most girls will say guy's don't have feelings but that definetly isn't true. Lol. Thanks! She's just curious how you are doing without her. I wouldn't read anything into it more than that. She's not interested in getting back together.
Author jrstar1860 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 She's just curious how you are doing without her. I wouldn't read anything into it more than that. She's not interested in getting back together. Hmmm that really doesn't make sense though. We were together for almost 4 years, and I always told her i loved her, had sex with her and did stuff with her, just my alcohol took over my emotions sometimes and led to bad events. 10 days after she put a PFA on me I got a DUI which was my 2nd, and a month later she asked if I was dating or talking to any other girls and my friend said not that he knew of on facebook to her and she said "not that you know of hahahah" i think it goes a little bit further on "how i'm doing without her" to be honest.
KathyM Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Hmmm that really doesn't make sense though. We were together for almost 4 years, and I always told her i loved her, had sex with her and did stuff with her, just my alcohol took over my emotions sometimes and led to bad events. 10 days after she put a PFA on me I got a DUI which was my 2nd, and a month later she asked if I was dating or talking to any other girls and my friend said not that he knew of on facebook to her and she said "not that you know of hahahah" i think it goes a little bit further on "how i'm doing without her" to be honest. Most women won't put up with abuse. If you have abused her, and she filed a PFA on you, then I doubt she's interested in getting back together with you. You have shown what you are capable of. She's moving on to safer ground.
Author jrstar1860 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 Most women won't put up with abuse. If you have abused her, and she filed a PFA on you, then I doubt she's interested in getting back together with you. You have shown what you are capable of. She's moving on to safer ground. yea i understand that. My mind just wasn't in a right place at the time and now that i've had months on my own i feel better, she's the first girl i've ever done that too, but it was pretty mutual, she would abuse me too. My mind just got the best of me and I never filed anything against her because I loved her so much ya know? I can't dwell, I can only learn from my mistakes and what i've done.
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