allite Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 I am a guy. Me and my ex broke up on September 1st, 2011 which would make that last thursday. It was completely unexpected, for me at least, but apparently she had contemplated this for awhile and finally decided to go through with it. We had recently just reached a year and three months and i still love her even though i just had my heart tore out by her. Some facts before i say my story -i am in 2nd year in college and she is a junior in high school -i love her to death and have never cheated or maintained a good friendship with any other girls -we use to meet only once a week or sometimes once every other week because of our schedule differences -her traditional parents dont allow her to have a bf so we kept our relationship a secret to them and she has to lie every weekend where she goes and she usually cant just leave the house -i was fine with that and i loved meeting her even if it was a day but i never showed how much i wanted to see her - we are both very stubborn - recently ive been very busy and at work and i never helped her with academic studies but ive always been the boyfriend, i was there no matter what and although money is not a issue, i can say everytime we went out. i spent the money because i had the job and she doesnt but i didnt care. -recently she and some other senior kid spent a lot of time studying together for SAT's and its obvious he is into her but i dont know if she is and it is killing me. So she finally said she gave up and she needed to focus on academics and her parents trust and her friends so she had to drop me out of her life. She said she wants to stay as friends but its hard not to kiss her or hold her. I said is it you want a break because i will wait for you but she responds with i dont know. and basically for the past 5 days ive been a emotional wreck. I never knew how much she meant to me. Everyplace i go reminds me of her cause i brought her everywhere. She is so beautiful and everyone was jealous of our relationship. i thought we never would break up cause i never would break up with her. So ive been the usual emotional ex-bf who constantly nag at her to give me a chance or let me be part of your life. every time we talk ends up with me feeling heartbroken or tore apart. this new boy that she studies with constantly comments on her facebook and she said this morning on his facebook, "hey i called you but you didnt pick up, hope you woke up this morning for school" but she still says that he isnt anything to her and they are just studying. but i just feel so skeptical but who am i to butt into her life. So today at work, i sent her a msg hope you and ____ have a great time together and she said "can you just stop, believe whatever you want." and in response i said, "im sorry for all this trouble i caused, im sorry for not respecting your decision. i have been pretty pathetic. i apologize for butting into your personal relationship with other people. i need a couple months by myself to heal. ill talk to you when the time is right. good bye" i dont want to leave her, i love her to death and i want to be the only one for her and vice versa. i dont want to lose her to this other guy =(. ive just been so lost for 5 days. i feel so empty. but i just initiated the no contact to which she says, "alrightt i will. thanks for understanding... and if the day comes when we can be facebook friends, pleasee add me back, i wont be going anywhere" and i havent responded again. It seems like she doesnt want to be in a relationship with me but a two weeks ago she loved me and everyday for the past year she kept saying i love you so much, your the best thing. i will never break up with you if you dont break up with me. she calls me cute nicknames and its just painful to not have that anymore. I guess im just telling my story to the world cause theres nothing i can do but do my own thing even though it really pains me. I really hope she comes back to me. Thank you for your time, please tell me some feedback or tips.
Chi townD Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Dude, sorry to say, but I think you got played. What high school girl doesn't want to brag that they have a boyfriend in college? However, I think she saw how much time and work maintaining that kind of relationship was and bailed! Go no contact, and you REALLY need to de-friend her on FB. Trust me on this, she's going to start posting status updates and pics when she does start dating someone again. And do you really want to see her prom pictures if you're not the guy in them? Just do it, like ripping off a band-aid. CHances are, she's not even gonna notice. Dude, you are in College! Enjoy it! It's and experience of a lifetime!
Author allite Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 i know what we had was special. just these couple weeks i havent given her the attention she needed and i never knew how much she meant to me till she was gone. and yea i am going to go No contact with her, it hurts so much. i know im in college and i should enjoy it but i enjoyed it with herr =(. i didnt mind not talking to other girls cause i had her. Thank you for your imput. it really makes me feel better,
PositiveNegative Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Hey man, stay strong. Just went through a break up as well. Actually it was exactly a week before you. Similar reasons, we didn't break up over a fight or other another guy. She told me the same stuff too, she always said that she would never ever leave me. She broke it with me because she just needs to time to find herself, whatever that may be. The first days were hell, don't even mention the very first night, without a doubt the worst week of my life. Most likely she is just having doubts because of how comfortable you guys were getting. This kind of comfort scares girls... especially young ones. Now, you mentioned that she doesn't know if this is a break or not, maybe it will just be that? What you have to do now is focus on yourself. Hell, in the past week and a half I've become enormously closer with my friends, learned a hell of a lot about relationships and love and have made plans to do some martial arts and gonna get a personal trainer. You got to go no contact for sure. If she truly loves you she will come back to you someday. In the meantime you cannot just wait around for her. If it is meant to be she will come back, hopefully wiser and more ready.
Author allite Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 yea its silly to think that i fell for her that bad. We did really get too comfortable but she says she needs a long time apparently. yes so far it is day one of no contact and many more days to go. Its gonna be a long road =(.
Author allite Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 yes, i already did. and deleted a lot of pictures and hid a lot of items.
Chi townD Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Good job dude. I will be completely honest with you, the first couple of weeks of NC SUCKS!!! In a few weeks time, you're gonna be formulating a lot of questions you wished you asked during the relationship and break up. Keep them to yourself! Sooner or later, she may realize that you de-friended her on FB. She may text you why. Ignore her. post here instead. She made the choice to have you out of her life and that's EXACTLY what you should give her.
Author allite Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 haha but i told her i was deleting herr. grr shouldnt of said it then haha. but yea i started jogging and working out and being cleaner. time to finally spend money on myself because i spent money on her all year. still missing her thoo =(
PositiveNegative Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Yeah good for you bro, this is also a great time to catch up with your family. I'm gonna be spending the weekend with mine.
Author allite Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 well yesterday, i actually felt fine for the majority of the day without contacting her but this morning, waking up and not saying hello or i love you, have a great day is painful. I wonder is there someone else taking care of her thats not me =(.just gotta live through the day. sigh. Day 2 of NC.
Author allite Posted September 8, 2011 Author Posted September 8, 2011 ugh i broke no contact yestarday and added her on fb and called her. didnt sound desperate but i do know that other guy really likes her. ugh this hurts so bad. day 1 of NC again.
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