bluenightowl Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Have you ever been rejected and then felt more attracted to that person? I find whenever I get rejected, I think I like them more than when things were just casual? anyone else ever felt like that?
Woggle Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 It's called want what you can't have syndrome.
FitChick Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 No. Why would I pine after someone who didn't want me? Waste of time and energy.
Author bluenightowl Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 No. Why would I pine after someone who didn't want me? Waste of time and energy. Often, but human nature is tough to compete against. Not everyone thinks logically. Most humans are emotional the last time I checked, and emotions almost always win out over reason.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Have you ever been rejected and then felt more attracted to that person? I find whenever I get rejected, I think I like them more than when things were just casual? anyone else ever felt like that? Sometimes... when I was younger. These days... sure, maybe for one day. There is always that 'challenge'. By day two I'm treating it like the job offer I didn't get... We aren't a match... move on. Sometimes a 'no' can be turned into a 'yes'... a 'no' just might mean... you haven't quite hit the mark yet. In my business, I have to do that alot. If they are still talking to me, then sometimes I have a chance to hit the mark. Either way though, I still have to accept that their ultimate answer will still be no. Asking for feedback is always a good way to go though... so you know what to do better next time.
Casablanca Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 No. Why would I pine after someone who didn't want me? Waste of time and energy. The same for me; their loss
BeyondtheClouds Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 A firm rejection does not make me more interested. But knowing that they have a full life without makes me more interested. It's a practical issue here: you don't want to date someone who is needy and looks to you all the time to fulfill their life.
Author bluenightowl Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 A firm rejection does not make me more interested. But knowing that they have a full life without makes me more interested. It's a practical issue here: you don't want to date someone who is needy and looks to you all the time to fulfill their life. Very interesting. I think you are on to something. That's usually how I feel when I get rejected. Those that have a full life, I want a piece of it, and those that don't or are troubled, I get over very quickly (although not in every case..). I've also found people that rejected me, became attracted again to me once I was happy with a new GF. All of the sudden those same people come crying back literally. Its happened to me twice so far, but I've never gone backwards yet.
rafallus Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Have you ever been rejected and then felt more attracted to that person? I find whenever I get rejected, I think I like them more than when things were just casual? anyone else ever felt like that? I know theoretical basis of wanting what you can't have, but never happened to me, while I was rejected.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I've also found people that rejected me, became attracted again to me once I was happy with a new GF. All of the sudden those same people come crying back literally. Its happened to me twice so far, but I've never gone backwards yet. Sure. Sometimes the initial timing was off. The way I look at it... every relationship has a window of opportunity. It stays open for a relatively short period of time. Yes, there are sometimes extenuating circumstances.. But that moment is fleeting, and once passed... there is usually no going back. Although, I've been 'romancing' a certain large multi-national company for a year now. They initially rejected me... then they came back... and I put them off... but now I'm considering them again. I'm starting to look at my personal relationships almost like my business relationships. Ya put your best offer on the table, state your terms, then carry on or don't.
Author bluenightowl Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 I'm starting to look at my personal relationships almost like my business relationships. Ya put your best offer on the table, state your terms, then carry on or don't. I do think this too.
mrgoodcat Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Yeah, that's the initial feeling. However, the damage to my ego would make me ignore that person and perhaps even develop a genuine dislike. This is a good coping mechanism, if you ask me.
runner Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 nope. i get a bit upset for a bit, wonder why i was rejected, ponder it a bit, and then move on- often times within the same day altho i can recall at least a couple of times where i've been rejected, and then that same person comes back to me and asks me out. weird.
Author bluenightowl Posted September 7, 2011 Author Posted September 7, 2011 nope. i get a bit upset for a bit, wonder why i was rejected, ponder it a bit, and then move on- often times within the same day altho i can recall at least a couple of times where i've been rejected, and then that same person comes back to me and asks me out. weird. perhaps it depends how long you knew them? If its one date, who cares, but someone you really liked for a long time and dated might be different?
AHardDaysNight Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Yes, this has happened to me. It never ends well.
runner Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 perhaps it depends how long you knew them? If its one date, who cares, but someone you really liked for a long time and dated might be different? i have no idea. all i know is that, whilst she may have a choice in whether or not to accept my offer, i also have choice in how i process a potential rejection. i typically walk away with a devil may care attitude regardless of how long i've known them.
Pyro Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Often, but human nature is tough to compete against. Not everyone thinks logically. Most humans are emotional the last time I checked, and emotions almost always win out over reason. sad but true. FTR I never became more interested in someone after being rejected by them. I am one of the logical thinkers.
mrgoodcat Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 That depends on a rejection...implicit vs. explicit. If they turn you down roughly, ehhh, that makes me dislike them. If they play it down casually, then I still have feelings for them, but definitely not like them "more".
AHardDaysNight Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Yeah, I agree. It depends on how they reject you.
phineas Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Have you ever been rejected and then felt more attracted to that person? I find whenever I get rejected, I think I like them more than when things were just casual? anyone else ever felt like that? Actually, it's the opposite with me. I loose interest in women who turn me down & move onto the next one. Sooner or later the one's who rejected me come looking for a 2nd chance. As long as they don't play games i'll give it to them.
Emilia Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Actually, it's the opposite with me. I loose interest in women who turn me down & move onto the next one. Sooner or later the one's who rejected me come looking for a 2nd chance. As long as they don't play games i'll give it to them. I don't even give them a 2nd chance usually. In my experience they always come back and I always reply politely that they missed their chance. The expression 'plenty of fish' is definitely apt in those cases
phineas Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I don't even give them a 2nd chance usually. In my experience they always come back and I always reply politely that they missed their chance. The expression 'plenty of fish' is definitely apt in those cases It really comes down to how they rejected me. If they lead me on then rejected me their done. If they just rejected me without giving a reason I have no problems with that. 9/10 times the women were trying to play hard to get & realized I just don't waste my time on that none-sense.
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