ChelleBelle Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Hi Rob, With the recent information you have provided, I agree that minimal contact is probably the way to go. Your X's friend is right to play it a little cool and be mysterious. This will not be easy for you and you will have to be very patient. I think the idea of ending the present relationship and starting a new relationship with her is super, but only works if she is 100% on board. Clearly she is not and I see a red flag here. She definately has feelings for you but it depends how deep the feelings go. She may have to have councelling for the historic abuse she has suffered, which would be beneficial to your situation in the long run. I would hate to think she is using you as an emotional crutch whilst she deals with her issues but there is a possability she is using you as an emotional safety net. Try to switch the tablets and let her doing more of the chasing. Let her be asking you where you have been? what have you been up to? have you met anyone new? It is true when they say absence makes the heart grow fonder but I don't agree that women are less attracted to you when they know how you feel. I never doubted that my X loved me when we broke up, and it is this fact, that made me work to get him back. I can't understand why she is not all over you. When I met up with my x, I was struggling to keep my hands off him. There is no way I could just 'hang out' and watch TV with no physical contact. This is puzzling and alittle alarming. Maybe her feelings are not so deep, maybe the chemistry is not so strong and if so, yes you need to be supper cool and aloof. It takes alot of self control to keep you hands off someone you love and are attracted to. Does she have this ability? I doubt it. Keep a low profile until the holiday. Be cool and evasive. I have a feeling the holiday will be the make or brake of it all. At some time, she will have to p--- or get off the pot. Keep me posted.
Author Daremo_06 Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 Hi Chelle, I have decided to go the LC route and am making sure I am working on me. I did see her yesturday, we ran 5k together and talked a bunch about minor stuff, a little about each other but nothing relationship. I am starting to see that she really hasn't started working on herself yet though, so this is helping me because I am able to see actions NOT lining up with words. That will help me distance myself without having to blow things up. We still have plans to go away in Nov, and unless something drastic occurs, I don't think I need to change that. My goal is to be as minimally available as possible for the next 6 weeks and look to see if A) she is actually working on herself and B) is curious about me. We shall see. I am beginning to come to grips with her not being my GF anymore and also acknowledging that its ok. We have been there before as friends after a breakup, I think it can be done again. If she actually does work on herself, and I am similarly interested, then perhaps there will be a take 3.
ChelleBelle Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Hi Rob, Yes, I think LC is the best way. She definately needs to work on herself and needs to be asking you how your feeling etc., so the tables need to be turning in your favour. The holiday will be the tipping point I would think. Until then be cool and distant and let her start to do the running. I hope it doesn't desolve into a friendship, what a waste of love. Let me know how things go and I keep an eye on the posts.
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