trying to understand ex feelings

[sivito]

Right long story as always, met my ex online I was married in a love less relationship, we fell in love on line and finally met,I moved out into my own place. she told me I was the one and I felt the the same I still do, she got pregnant after two months.

 

We never went through with it something we both regret deeply now.

This caused issues and she constantly finished with me ignored me, for days I went back online just to talk to people as felt so alone and down, this went on for months on off but always getting back together,and I would instantly delete my profile.

 

She eventually found out and classed this as cheating, in may we finished, then back together again, went on holiday then finished, always her that ended it.

She has a little boy who I treat as my own and love dearly, we went to Disney last month and had the best time ever, then when home everything was perfect for a week then she finished with me again.

We still talk everyday and I saw her Saturday and we had sex, still just the same, she told me if she could take one thing to a desert island it would be me,but can not be with me in reality.

It is like neither of us can let go, I said to her I need to find someone else and she became upset and hurt to this comment, one day she gives me hope and the next she takes it away, I do love her with all my heart and have learned chatting to people on line is the wrong thing to do, she knows I am sorry but won't trust me.

 

I can not believe how long this is going on, its like both of us are scared to go with someone else as this would then be final, she has now told me she is in a dark place and needs time alone, and goes cold on me, but as soon as I have a free night she will contact me to make sure I am not out, I think she still loves me But really don't know what to do help please...

[Nohbody]

Sounds complicated. I'd recommend looking into counseling if you really want to work through your issues together.