Mixed signals...?

[laurendee]

My ex and I broke up about 6 months ago. We ended it after a stupid drunken fight, but it was hard because we both still cared about each other. Between now and then, we have both dated other people and seen each other a handful of times (we run in the same social circle) - in those times it has either been 1) ignoring each other for the sake of avoiding drama, 2) awkwardly trying to remain civil, or 3) one of us was with the current person we were dating.

 

Well, a few weeks ago I got into a minor fender bender, which ended up being my fault so I knew I had a lot to pay even after insurance. My ex is a manager at a body shop and I knew he'd be nice enough to help me out, even if we hadn't talked in awhile. He agreed and we met up so he could look at the damage; he was very nice about it all and agreed to fix it on my time, at my house, for no pay. I was very grateful and told him I'd be in contact. Literally within a minute of me taking off, he called me and asked me to have drinks with him. I ended up meeting him at a sports bar and we stayed there for hours talking and laughing, he paid for all my drinks (although I thought it was strange HE was the one fixing MY car).

 

I ended up seeing him the next night at a party. Him and his friend left early to another bday party, but he called me on their way home and asked if we could chill. Him and his friend came over and had a few beers, then left. We also planned to have him come over that Wednesday night to fix my car.

 

Come Wednesday night, my ex masterfully straightens out my car in the matter of an hour while I sit outside on the driveway and keep him company. He tells me he was looking forward to spend time with me, so he stays after he finishes and we talk for a few hours. When it comes time for him to leave, he hugs me long and tight... the sign that he obviously wanted something more. I told him I knew he wanted to kiss me and that he should because I wanted it too. Next thing I knew, I was smackdab in the middle of a movie moment-- that kiss was mind-blowing, lasted for literally 10 mins, his hands through my hair, and sparks like no other. I went to bed feeling light and airy.

 

I knew after that kiss that my feelings were obviously still there, as were his, and I wanted nothing more than to work things out with him again. So the next day, I invited him out with our mutual friends to a bar. He agreed and met up with us. It was apparent he was mostly there for me: he kept telling me how pretty I looked, talked primarily to me the whole night, and always had to be sitting/standing next to me. It ended kinda awkwardly though because his sister (who is most def not my favorite person, and vice versa) got brought up in conversation, and the guy I'm currently talking to was mentioned in conversation as well. He kinda left in a hurry after that because he had to work early. Not sure if it was because I was somewhat talking down about his sister or if it was because I was talking about another boy I was dating, either way I was disappointed with his hasty exit.

 

I didn't dwell on it though, and my best friend and I ended up going to hang out with him and his best friend (who happens to be my bestie's ex). We all went swimming, then to watch a football game at a sports bar, then to a friends house after. My ex was acting normal and sweet, we joked around a lot and I invited him to my bday party this weekend. He said he'd come.

 

Next day, we all decide to go swimming that night again at their apt pool. My ex was definitely being more flirty with me this time-- he used any excuse to touch me or bring up old memories of us. After we left the pool, we went to a friends' place where we both drank quite a bit. We ended up upstairs alone playing PS3 and before I knew it we were kissing again. Due to my inebriation, my better judgement was clouded and him and I hooked up. It was great, as it had always been, but we cleaned up quickly so that our friends wouldn't suspect anything. Of course as soon as we got downstairs, we were greeted with ****-talking and jokes; they knew our relationship too well. Him and I just laughed and ignored them. It got a little later, we were all sitting outside when my ex got up to leave and told everyone bye; when it was my turn, he hugged me affectionately. After he left, I went inside to get a beer and he came back in to grab something he forgot. He came over to me again and kissed me. He told me he'd see me soon (I assume this meant for my bday this week).

 

Well apparently, he has a girlfriend. Well, I knew about this girl because the last time I saw him a month ago she was with him. BUT within the past two weeks, he has been with me/his friends on the weekends and I hadn't seen him once text/call anyone during all this time. I also overheard him speaking to one of our friends, who had asked about supposed gf, and he responded along the lines of "it's a long story". I also asked his best friend about her today and all he said was, "I don't know, who knows... last time heard him talk about her was like 2 weeks ago". Ugh, so frustrating I don't know what's going on but from what I gather maybe something happened with them? I don't want to ask my ex because I don't think it's my business... and frankly, at this point I'd rather be kept in the dark.

 

At the same time, I am kinda of seeing someone else as well. But we are NOT boyfriend/girlfriend and have made it clear to each other that's not what we want right now. I really like him though, and we spend a lot of time with each other... sometimes I feel like I pretty much live with him. We have so much fun together I love whatever it is we're doing. However, I know if I ever find out FOR SURE that my ex and I have a chance to work it out, I wouldn't hesitate to end it with this guy. I'm also pretty sure that my ex knows that I am seeing him because he has been brought up, and my ex has not responded favorably to hearing about him.

 

So this all happened yesterday. I haven't talked to him today (which I don't expect because we haven't texted/phoned unless it's to hangout). I'm just a little confused on where to go from here... ??

Edited September 6, 2011 by laurendee