duckrepair Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I talk to a guy online... since I'm shy, I figured I'd try this way to meet more people. I posted on CL for friends with possibility for relationship. Early on I asked him for a photo and he replied, " ah, didn't know I had to be pretty for a friendship" .. Then he added the "LoL" at the end. And this is definitely true, I agree, he doesn't have to be. A bit of time went on and we still talk. Text all day... It's great. We get along really well. So now curiosity is getting the best of me. I searched for him online, with no luck. I've decided to halt in respect for him not wanting me to see. He also has not requested to see me. (Also odd??) I posted a vague description of me in my CL post, but no photo. He lives in my town and we plan to be movie buddies for awhile. But I want to see what I'm getting into? So.. How typical is it for someone to refuse sending a photo?
country_gurl Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I talk to a guy online... since I'm shy, I figured I'd try this way to meet more people. I posted on CL for friends with possibility for relationship. Early on I asked him for a photo and he replied, " ah, didn't know I had to be pretty for a friendship" .. Then he added the "LoL" at the end. And this is definitely true, I agree, he doesn't have to be. A bit of time went on and we still talk. Text all day... It's great. We get along really well. So now curiosity is getting the best of me. I searched for him online, with no luck. I've decided to halt in respect for him not wanting me to see. He also has not requested to see me. (Also odd??) I posted a vague description of me in my CL post, but no photo. He lives in my town and we plan to be movie buddies for awhile. But I want to see what I'm getting into? So.. How typical is it for someone to refuse sending a photo? Just curious; you're asking him for a picture but are you willing to send him one of yourself? Perhaps he thinks it's kind of hypocritical that you're requesting one of him but he hasn't seen yours? It IS kind of odd, though, that he's not asked to see yours....particularly around the time you've asked to see his. It's common for men to have 'excuses' for not having or being willing to share a pic because they are a) married/involved b) feel they are very unattractive (perhaps they are) c) have completely misrepresented their description in their profile and know if they send a pic they'll be busted: eg) age, whether they have hair, teeth missing, skin color, their build, etc Some people just like to have a 'chat buddy' and truly no real desire to ever meet in person (their looks could be part of that reason) Personally I think it's bizarre to "text all day" with someone you've not seen a picture of. How do you do know this isn't some college kid stringing you along for a laugh with his buddies? Or some old dude old enough to be your father or grandfather? What's with this bit about you 2 planning to be 'movie buddies for awhile'? So you're making plans to meet in person and go to movies together but he won't send you his pic and he's not asking to see yours? Sorry, something is fishy here, IMO.
Author duckrepair Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 At first, he was saying such things as "I'd like to get to know you first. I wasn't inviting you over just yet. Gotta see if our personalities match..." And he went on to ask about me personality & other likes and such.. Ok--fair enough, I thought; I respected this. I wondered about the married/involved thing... but he'd definitely invite me over so i'm hoping he isn't married/involved... yikes. Maybe he does feel unattractive, but I've see some quite not-so attractive guys post or send photos. I'm not worried that he's not attractive, but honestly i am worried I wont find him attractive... How do I know he isn't a college kid or an old geezer, I don't. No one knows for sure til they meet. But We seem to mesh really well. He's got a great sense of humour.. But I guess I can't rule that stuff out. He hasn't tried to hit on me in the least either... which is also weird itself. Unless he reeeeeeeally just wants friends. youre right. fishy is a good word. And the movie thing was because we both really love B-rate movies & especially horror movies.. however, as of now there are no definite plans to meet/no set date. I cant say I get any bad vibes from this... but it's quite different from what I'm used to with meeting a guy online...
Author duckrepair Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 ok... got it out of him... divorce is finalizing in may. i think i lost all interest. Becasue that means he's still married =x Too good to be true, i knew ittttt
spiderowl Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Do you just want to be his friend? If so, then does it matter too much what he looks like? If you are thinking of a possible romantic relationship, then it will matter. I'd recommend you email him and suggest swapping photos, seeing as you are going to meet. If he refuses, then obviously it's up to you whether you just go ahead anyway. Personally, I wouldn't. I have done in the past, but it was a mistake, not because he was bad-looking but because he lied about several things (his age included). A lot of guys online who don't post a photo are attached or misrepresenting themselves in some way. Not all, I hasten to add, but enough for me to want a photo before meeting now.
country_gurl Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 ok... got it out of him... divorce is finalizing in may. i think i lost all interest. Becasue that means he's still married =x Too good to be true, i knew ittttt ah HAH! Sooo.......... He won't share a pic and NOW admits he's not yet divorced. He 'claims' it will be finalized in May. My guess is that that's total BS and it's entirely possible he's not at all in the process of getting a divorce but is one of the many married oinkers online who is bored in his marriage and is seeing what else is out there, so to speak. Just curious; did his profile indicate that he was 'separated'?
FitChick Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 If what he is telling you is true (beware that the "divorce" could be "delayed" come May), you don't want to date him anyway because newly divorced men just want to have fun, nothing serious, at least for the first two or three years. I've had to learn that lesson the hard way. Of course, if you want to just have an affair, then go for it. I still wouldn't do anything until he sent me a picture, but as we have learned on here, he could send you one of his friend, son, neighbor, brother, etc. There are plenty of single guys. I'd concentrate on those and not waste my time on someone married.
Zaphod B Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 (edited) For me I've met women on line without seeing a pic first and the majority of the time have been gobsmacked by how attractive they were. Many don't because they don't want to be recognised for personal or professional reasons. I don't normally push for one, but for you it's a different story. You are a woman and therefore taking more of a risk when going to meet a stranger, so you are quite within your rights to expect a photograph. It's about security and you want to have at least some assurance that they guy your speaking to is who he claims to be in his profile. What has he got to hide really? If he's so ugly, then surely he'd be better off giving you warning rather than giving you a nasty shock on your first meeting. That would just make it uncomfortable for the both of you. I personally don't think it's a good idea to message for too long either. He may want you to fall in love with his personality, but what tends to happen is you build up these images in your head and your expectations can become unrealistic. Best meet up in a reasonable period of time. Edited September 6, 2011 by Zaphod B
Author duckrepair Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 I got a pic out of him, I was about to say "He's pretty hot. Tatted out with dark hair. slim & looks young." .. guess what? another rolled in up close of his face.. and he doesn't look that good at all =x. HAHA well, that makes me feel better. FINALLY. mystery solved! -- All of it. And, no, country_gurl, he never mentioned he was separated or anything until I asked about kids..... he didnt have a profile since he messaged me on craigslist. Welp, as i said. Mystery solved. I can rest well tonight. xD Plus, yes get back out there and meet someone eligible. I try to give someone benefit of the doubt if they're divorced/etc... but this may be too much for me to handle. Who knows what's going on in his life, but I plan to stay out of it. . .
FitChick Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Craigslist is even worse than plentyoffish.com. I never heard of any murderers being on POF, just a lot of bottom feeders.
country_gurl Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 I got a pic out of him, I was about to say "He's pretty hot. Tatted out with dark hair. slim & looks young." .. guess what? another rolled in up close of his face.. and he doesn't look that good at all =x. HAHA well, that makes me feel better. FINALLY. mystery solved! -- All of it. And, no, country_gurl, he never mentioned he was separated or anything until I asked about kids..... he didnt have a profile since he messaged me on craigslist. Welp, as i said. Mystery solved. I can rest well tonight. xD Plus, yes get back out there and meet someone eligible. I' try to give someone benefit of the doubt if they're divorced/etc... but this may be too much for me to handle. Who knows what going on in his life, but I plan to stay out of it. . . Seriously, if you're shy and looking to make friends with the possibility that it could turn into a relationship, stop looking on Craiglist. That is just asking for trouble. Most people seriously looking to date or establish a relationship are going to at least use a fitting online venue such as a dating site, not Craigslist. Or try a site like meetup.com. There are super freaky, creepy predators slithering around on Craiglist, seriously.
Art_Critic Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 hahahaha..... Married was my first thought when reading the OP....
Art_Critic Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 but I plan to stay out of it. . . Good.. because the chances are pretty high that he isn't getting a divorce and just cheating on his wife...
country_gurl Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Craigslist is even worse than plentyoffish.com. I never heard of any murderers being on POF, just a lot of bottom feeders. Yep, at least one murderer on POF. Google Mark Twitchell. Not only did he meet his poor ex wife there, he had bogus profiles on POF as a "woman", using them to lure unsuspecting men to his garage so that he could kill them. So with sickos out there online, it's not only women who are at risk, just goes to show you really have no idea who it is behind the profile. I've read of at least 2 other cases on POF where someone had gone on a date with someone there and that person has never been seen since. Article on Mark Twitchell: http://edmonton.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20110322/edm_twitchell_tuesday_110322/20110322?hub=EdmontonHome
UpDownAllAround Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Yep, at least one murderer on POF. Google Mark Twitchell. Not only did he meet his poor ex wife there, he had bogus profiles on POF as a "woman", using them to lure unsuspecting men to his garage so that he could kill them. So with sickos out there online, it's not only women who are at risk, just goes to show you really have no idea who it is behind the profile. I've read of at least 2 other cases on POF where someone had gone on a date with someone there and that person has never been seen since. Article on Mark Twitchell: http://edmonton.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20110322/edm_twitchell_tuesday_110322/20110322?hub=EdmontonHome Damn. Really makes you think twice about ever pursuing online dating.
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