HeartOfAPhoenix Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Will never happen. I will be civil towards an ex but never friends, I think being friends with any ex is just dumb. If you were the dumpee it's just a subconscious way of keeping them in your life and settling to be second best. If you were the dumper it's relatively the same concept, just you get your ego boosted every so often and it eases the guilt completely. Sounds immature to me, and I wouldn't date a girl that keeps her ex as a "friend" either. For those of you that have posted "only on facebook..." I must ask you this: Why? Why bother keep them on facebook when you nor them make any effort to have an actual friendship? The only reason you should be in regular contact with an ex is if you have kids together.
olivec Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 My most recent ex most definately not as its too soon for me. She stated she wanted to be friends but I feel like she gave up on me and right now the pain is still too strong. The previous ex i am friends with and actually talked to her about my last breakup.
MovingOn13 Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Will never happen. I will be civil towards an ex but never friends, I think being friends with any ex is just dumb. If you were the dumpee it's just a subconscious way of keeping them in your life and settling to be second best. If you were the dumper it's relatively the same concept, just you get your ego boosted every so often and it eases the guilt completely. Sounds immature to me, and I wouldn't date a girl that keeps her ex as a "friend" either. For those of you that have posted "only on facebook..." I must ask you this: Why? Why bother keep them on facebook when you nor them make any effort to have an actual friendship? The only reason you should be in regular contact with an ex is if you have kids together. This. My ex who i dated for 5 years, first love etc...sent me a fb friend request 6 months after break up and 6 months of full NC. No single f... was given and it was ignored. To me, it should be friendship true friendship and then FB. Adding someone but not physically being in their lives to me is stupid. Just keep the change baby!
Portisphish Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 I understand what you guys are saying about no reason for it, and I understand the idea of no contact. I'm trying to be friends for the first time right now. She wasn't dishonest with me. She cares and I believe she really gave the relationship some effort. This is a special person who made me want to be the best person I could be. I just can't see not having her in my life. Plus my son and her daughter have been in the same class for the last four years. Homework, projects, etc. would be nice to have someone to discuss these things with. We weren't together that long....started as friends. I know I might be stunting my ability to heal, but do we really have to punish people because they didn't want what we wanted? Not every relationship that doesn't work out has to involve a bad person. Yes....I need to move on. It's in my power to move on. It's in my power who I choose to have in my life. Carry on folks. Good luck to all.
radiodarcy Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) Will never happen. I will be civil towards an ex but never friends, I think being friends with any ex is just dumb. If you were the dumpee it's just a subconscious way of keeping them in your life and settling to be second best. If you were the dumper it's relatively the same concept, just you get your ego boosted every so often and it eases the guilt completely. Sounds immature to me, and I wouldn't date a girl that keeps her ex as a "friend" either. For those of you that have posted "only on facebook..." I must ask you this: Why? Why bother keep them on facebook when you nor them make any effort to have an actual friendship? The only reason you should be in regular contact with an ex is if you have kids together. so true! i've had people tell me i'm being immature by refusing to be friends with the ex. but how is retaining my dignity and self-respect and refusing to be used as an emotional doormat/ego boost immature? i should have noticed the red flags when my ex told me he's still friends with all his exes because he still care about them. pure rubbish. you can still care for someone but that doesn't mean you have to keep them in your lives on a familiar basis. and in my ex's case, it's more a matter of keeping his exes around as souvenirs - - *not* because he cares about them Edited September 7, 2011 by radiodarcy
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