Viv Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 It's probably just a bad few days, but my future is looking really bleak right now and I've got myself in a situation where I can't tell anyone I know how scared I am! My husband left me out of the blue, a couple of months ago. We were supposed to be leaving the country in six weeks, to spend a year abroad. As soon as he told me he was going, he found a new flat, took all the furniture and all the money from the joint accounts. I was temping and lost the job when it all happened because I was too much of a mess to go in for a week. I've had no choice but to leave the city where we were and stay with family, which can only be a temporary thing. I've told everyone that I will go abroad for a year by myself, and all my friends and family support the idea, as visas are all sorted. However, I'm sad because it was something I wanted to do with him, and terrified because I don't have a huge amount of money, a job or anywhere to live. And I can't stop crying about what has happened. I have a good friend over there, but she can't really help me with practical things due to personal reasons and I'm so overwhelmed. But it really does seem like the only option, I don't want to go back to the city, job market in UK isn't great, and living in a shared house while he is in lovely new flat with new gf is too depressing, and I can't stay at home. Sorry I just need to write this somewhere, I can't tell my friends/family how I feel, because I don't want them to think I'm giving up, and there really is nothing they can do to help me anyway...
wilsonx Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Sorry I just need to write this somewhere, I can't tell my friends/family how I feel, because I don't want them to think I'm giving up, and there really is nothing they can do to help me anyway... This is wrong, terrible wrong. You can tell your family and friends anything. They are your family and they are your friends. How do you know they can not help you anyways if you do not communicate with them. Communication is key in all relationships. Family, friendships, interdependent, and business relationships. Your survival is #1 priority in your life right now, do everything possible so that you can survive, get a job, get a place, get friends and communicate with all of the above. Once these are established, start worrying about the future. Until then worry about the present and take everything one day at a time.
lucylou71 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 VIV, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. 2 months ago I found out my husband was cheating on me and I didn't tell anyone. I went a 1 month without telling a soul. It was the most difficult thing to not be able to confide in anyone. I did this because I felt like I would be intruding in friends lives. A month later I found out my husband had not ended the affair like he said he had and I could no longer keep my secret. I finally told a coworker who I was very close with at work. She was so upset with me for not confiding in her and keeping this painful secret to myself. In fact she scolded me. She hugged me for about 2 minutes and let me just cry and cry. I had never felt so much love. Please don't be afraid to lean on your friends. That's what they're there for. If you still feel like you can't confide in them,please talk to all of us here on LS. We're all going through similar situations and we truly do understand your pain.
Author Viv Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 Thankyou for your replies, I think I'm just having a bad few days, before this I've been up and down, but now I can't stop crying. I've managed to speak to friends about everything so far, I think I'm just ashamed about how sad I feel right now, like it would be too much for them to deal with. Maybe this is just a low and will get better. Im glad you did confide in your friend. I guess I don't want to tell them about my practical worries because they will think I want them to do something, or they will tell me to sort myself out (which is totally fair enough) it just feels overwhelming.
Buttercup84 Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Oh Hun I'm so sorry . He sounds like a real selfish son of a bitch . And losing your job too is just messed up. He may be living with his new gf but he is still a knob . I'm 27 and moved back to my parents and have to share a room with my mum . They are great but my ex is in our old house and will have girls there it makes me sick . What kind of work do you want to do ? Now is the time to go for your dreams ! And please talk to your friends and family. . If your friends don't bother or get annoyed they are not real friends xx
Author Viv Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 Hey buttercup, yes he really is, after everything he's done I got an email from him asking if I can post an ipod that he gave me??? He earns alot and money doesn't mean anything to him? but I've been no contact for 5 days! I think I feel so bad, because I have no idea what I want to do with my life either, I just finished a masters but it doesn't lead to a particular job, was more theoretical and my plan was to go abroad and take what job I could get, and figure it out that way. Now I'm on my own, I feel like I need a proper goal in life and have no idea where to start. I struggle getting out of bed. It isn't easy having to go back to family, I feel for you too, but at least you say they're great and I read in another post that you want to become a teacher, that's really great!
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