sphynx Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 My ex boyfriend and I broke up 5 months ago. In fact, he broke up with me, because he was already seeing someone else (who as I found out later, was one of my girlfriend's friend!). We were together for only 3 months, barely saw each other (his choice) and were intimate only once. After the breakup I found out more lies he had told me, including how old he was, and a CHILD he "forgot" to mention. To top it all off, he broke up with me on my birthday. It was hard, but I somehow managed to move on, dated here and there, nothing serious. My ex works in a bar where my friends and I love to hang out, that's how we met. Even though it was hard in the beginning, I continued to hang out there, but never talked to my ex. Well, there is this guy who also works there, and I knew for a long time that he liked me, but to me he was just another guy, I was too much into my ex to think about someone else. They are also friends, not close, but still...friends. Somehow, in the past 2 weeks, we totally fell for each other. I mean, it hit me like a ton of bricks, unexpectedly, but strong. Like, I feel he could be THE ONE. And I have a feeling he feels the same about me. We didn't talk too much, but when we did, we both felt the connection. We both tried to fight it, especially him, because he is the one who is friends with my ex, I don't feel like I owe my ex anything, considering the way he treated me. But for him, it's tough. He is a decent guy and he told me he just cannot do this, at least not behind my ex's back...which I totally understand and agree with. We didn't even exchange numbers, we didn't act on our feelings, but long story short, he said he will talk to my ex about this in the next few days, and see how he feels about it. Needless to say, I dread it. And having my fate in the hands of a guy who mistreated me and cheated on me and never had any desire to see me happy...that's a tough pill to swallow. Even though he never loved me, his ego is huge, and as he himself was telling me, he has no empathy for other people, he just doesn't care about anybody's feelings. So I am 99% sure he will give this guy a tough time, and he will say he's not ok with us dating. I am beside myself with concern, and I want so much to get to know this guy, I just feel like I'm losing my mind. I will probably know my fate next weekend, when I'll go there with my friends and I'll talk to new guy. I don't want to lose him, but he said clearly that if my ex is not ok with us dating, then he will have no other choice but to let go of me, to avoid a catastrophic situation. What do you guys think, is my ex going to cut any chance I have at being happy with this guy? As a side note, my ex knew that this guy liked me, because before my ex and I got together, the guy had asked my ex about me, and had told him he was interested in me (he saw us talking and assumed we were just friends, which we were, at the time). My ex told him to stay away from me because he was interested in dating me himself, which he promptly did after that conversation. Which would explain why he dated me, but never showed me any feelings...because he did it to block this other guy, not because he was really interested in me. I know all this because my ex told me about it, shortly after we got together. So what do you guys think, will I have a chance with this guy?
FitChick Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Tell the new guy to find a job at another bar across town and then lie about dating you.
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