jolbell Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I went on a date last night with someone I met online and had a blast. He extended our dinner date by asking to get coffee and then even after coffee we sat and talked for over an hour. Conversation flowed, we laughed tons, he gave me lots of compliments and the date ended with him asking for a second date. The only red flag (but its a big one, I think) is that he told me he's been doing online dating for 1.5 years. He's said he met some interesting people (??). I told him I'm not looking for friends. I guess I only see two reasons for not being successful when actively looking: 1) just not having the luck of finding the right person for you, or 2) never being satisfied and looking for something/one unrealistic. I'm concerned about the latter. Should ask about it (what he's looking for) during the 2nd date? He's early-30s, and has been in 4 relationships if that helps.
Imageiko Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 How is that possibly a red flag? Would you feel the same way if he said he's been doing other activities with the intention of meeting girls for 2 years? I don't see anything to worry about so far. Worry about getting to know him and if he's got traits you look for then you can figure out if you're compatible with him.
Cypress25 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 That's not a red flag. In my opinion, a red flag is when someone asks how long you've been doing online dating. On a first date, you shouldn't be asking each other about your dating history. I recently went on a first date with a guy I met online, and he was great except he kept talking about his exes, asking me about mine, and asking all sorts of personal questions like when my last relationship ended, why it ended, how many dates I've been on since then, and how long I've been doing online dating. I was like "How about none of your damn business?" Maybe it freaked him out when I said I'd been using the dating site off and on since 2007. That's because I've had 2 long-term relationships in the meantime (both of which started online), so naturally I stopped using the site while I was in a relationship. When a relationship ends and I'm ready to start dating again, I start using the site again. How long someone has been doing online dating is irrelevant. I don't know why you'd even ask.
Art_Critic Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 No... It isn't a red flag I did online dating for at least 4 years before I met my now wife. I had many relationships that were founded online at match. com and one or 2 that lasted a year. I would do old for a few months, then get busy at work and stop then pick it back up when I had time Now... I'd someone has been doing it for 10 years and still hadn't found someone the. I would call that a red flag.. But just a small one
Author jolbell Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 I'm glad most wouldn't consider it a red flag. That's good to know. Actually, I didn't start that conversation and ask how long he's been online dating, he did and offered his own answer.
FrustratedStandards Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I don't think its a red flag. You're overanalyzing and over thinking. Just go with the flow and see where it goes. If you ask what he is looking for you will seem needy and might throw things off rhythm.
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