AudiHax Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 I just got back home after visiting my SO in the US. It was an amazing 2 weeks but yesterday when it was time for me to leave, I just felt so ill. I couldn't eat or drink anything knowing that in a few hours I'll be getting on a plane back home by myself. I spent 3 hours crying into his shoulder, asking him when we would see each other again and looking for some hope. Now that I'm home, I have probably cried over 2 hours to myself, feeling so lonely and not knowing what to do with myself. I probably won't get to see my SO until at least next May, because of college plans that we both have. But I feel so much pain inside, that it almost feels like my SO has died...that's how bad I miss him. How do I deal with being back home and how can I look forward to the next visit when it's so so far away? Please help. I feel absolutely miserable.. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 (((Hugs))) We're here for you! Airport goodbyes are the absolute worst. For me, it starts the night before...I don't eat or sleep and I just have this overwhelming feeling of dread that comes over me. I pretty much cry from the moment I get to the lot to the moment I get back home. The first day/night alone is the absolute worst...I try to leave everything as he left it to make it seem like he's still here somehow. Stupid I know, but I just can't wrap my mind around cleaning up right away. Recently though, it's gotten better for me knowing that our end is in sight and I'll only have to be doing this hopefully a few more times. It never gets any easier, but it will just become part of your new routine until you don't have to do it anymore. What has always kept me going is keeping busy and planning our next visits. Hang in there, it's all worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Can't you see each other over Christmas or other holidays, perhaps meeting someplace halfway? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 That's so sad I don't normally get tearful, just a little bit after he's gone, but I'm usually happy from having spent time with him, but I see him every other month, I actually wouldn't be able to handle not seeing each other for months, I know I couldn't do it, even more so now there's no end in sight for us. So I can't offer any help I'm afraid Just wanted to say I can understand how you feel and I'm sorry it's so tough for you ((((hugs)))) Link to post Share on other sites
aisle_seat Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Goodbyes are terrible...there's just no other way to put it. The day before, towards afternoon, we both tend to get more quiet but more physically close. No crying but it is very hard. The next day driving to the airport we hold hands, steal glances at each other but don't usually say too much. Then at the airport it's kisses, saying goodbye and usually a few tears on her part but I'm barely managing to keep them in. All you can do is remember the great time you've had and look forward to the next one. And as always, communicate as often as possible however you can. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I should have added; that once I get back home without him, I feel quite empty and low for a few days, takes a while to adjust again. Link to post Share on other sites
lesoiseaux Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I have to admit, this makes me nervous... I'm new to the LDR thing and my boyfriend will be visiting me in a few days for the first time since we started the distance. He'll only be here 2.5 days. He's not even here yet but I'm already dreading saying goodbye! Link to post Share on other sites
BiCoastalLove Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I feel everyone's pain. I dropped off my SO today after spending 4 days with her (we were apart for the first time ever for 4 weeks) and this was the second goodbye we have had. It felt just as horrible as the first except we both knew what was coming. Last night we tried to stay awake just cuddling and watching movies as long as we could. This morning we tried to make love but couldnt due to it being so sad. I tried to not cry while getting dressed but watching her pack and the drive the airport was so so hard. I was crying. Trying to enjoy every moment I could and be strong for her. I couldnt say goodbye she had to walk away and then i cried off and on the drive back home. I got home and collapsed on the floor and sobbed for an hour or so. All so painful. All I keep thinking and wanting is her to come back to me. But, all i can say is that knowing that even though this pain is almost unbearable, it is one notch closer to us being able to be together. Which, days like today, make the distance feel soo real.. but one day.. we will be together. We both couldnt eat breakfast or really talk to each other.. just the small glances and sorrow in our eyes. So I am right there with you. I enjoy reading and posting on here as I feel like I have some support from you guys. So thank you. One day we will all be with our SO. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Aw (((((hugs)))))) When will you next see her? I feel everyone's pain. I dropped off my SO today after spending 4 days with her (we were apart for the first time ever for 4 weeks) and this was the second goodbye we have had. It felt just as horrible as the first except we both knew what was coming. Last night we tried to stay awake just cuddling and watching movies as long as we could. This morning we tried to make love but couldnt due to it being so sad. I tried to not cry while getting dressed but watching her pack and the drive the airport was so so hard. I was crying. Trying to enjoy every moment I could and be strong for her. I couldnt say goodbye she had to walk away and then i cried off and on the drive back home. I got home and collapsed on the floor and sobbed for an hour or so. All so painful. All I keep thinking and wanting is her to come back to me. But, all i can say is that knowing that even though this pain is almost unbearable, it is one notch closer to us being able to be together. Which, days like today, make the distance feel soo real.. but one day.. we will be together. We both couldnt eat breakfast or really talk to each other.. just the small glances and sorrow in our eyes. So I am right there with you. I enjoy reading and posting on here as I feel like I have some support from you guys. So thank you. One day we will all be with our SO. Link to post Share on other sites
befreckled Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 *hugs* the pains of an LDR. I think it helps to have short term and long term goals. I tell myself a day before that my goal for the day of departure is that I do not want to cry because, it's not constructive and it's not like I'm never seeing him again. Usually I cry for abit a couple days before and then, it's over. no more tears. together, it helps to plan when you'll meet next so there's a end in sight. use tools to combat the wait - I have a countdown clock on my iPhone that I check from time to time. Also, plan SKYPE sessions, it really is such a great thing to see the bf and have a chat for hours which lessens the lack of physical touch. Plan an activity together - e.g. cook on SKYPE (someone else on LS suggested this to me and it's worked!) The bf and I often watch the same movie on skype so we can sort of relate and talk about it at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
lesoiseaux Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 My SO just left This is so hard. My first LDR goodbye, and I'm guessing it won't get any easier Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts