kewell Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Hi, My ex and I are 24. Been with her for 2 years and she finally initiated a breakup with me yesterday. She still loves me and I can feel that she came into this decision with a heavy heart. She cried very heavily when telling me this and even more when I tell her I'm going home and going to fly back to the country where I work, asked me to hug her several times as she cried... Our story is very sad. The issue was not between us; It's between her family and mine. But to be honest: it's more bcos of her mom's whims. My ex's a purely kind and loving woman, but perhaps too kind that she was able to be influenced by her mom to sacrifice her happiness for her mum's pride and obsession. If u'd like to know how it was before this, u can read it here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t295376/, (although that does not tell all of the details). I can also feel that her mom is actually using all of those excuses to find a "$$$BETTER$$$" son-in-law-to-be. She often compared me with my ex's ex, my own friend, and her friend's son!!? She is as wicked as you can imagine. She is able to "indoctrinate" my ex into believeing that our parents will not be compatible and that she will not be happy after we are married. She can go from being sick, angry, and also cry so that everyone should sympathize her. And all that difficult situation was pressurizing and torturing her; thus forcing her to come to this decision in the end. She wanted us to stay as friends (which I agreed), but I went NC on her since yesterday. I'm still hoping that I have a chance to get back with her someday tbh, but am more focusing myself on my future (career) so that maybe her mom can respect me more when I've become more successful. 1 message that I left her: "You are a grown up. You have to know what you really want. You cannot expect to be able to please everyone. But you deserve to be happy. If you found what you believe is happiness, stand up for it and defend it. Don't sacrifice it so easily because this is the decision you will either regret or be grateful of for the rest of your life.". I started the NC in hope that she can think about it well because I believe either it's her mom that has to wake up (almost impossible) or her that needs to stand up.. But today, she looks so down and several times approached me in MSN (I have no choice cos I have to communicate with my colleagues at work from here, and if I appear offline to her she might check with other contacts).. I am also at lost most of the time, only responding her with short replies until she finally said that she really needed to call me.. I talk to her in phone, she cried again on her work desk, but didn't sound like she's begging me to come back or whatsoever.. Just that she needed to hear my voice, telling me she's feeling very heavy right now.. I just comfort her a bit, motivate her, and re-phrase the message that I left to her before ending the conversation.. After that she MSN me and sounded a bit disappointed(?), thanking me for my support "in a very formal way" and says she will need time.. I'm confused cos I'm afraid if I completely ignored her it will make her think that I don't care about her anymore, and that she could have gone forever.. Would appreciate any input from you guys! What's the best thing to do to keep the chance alive? Stick to the NC rule (or maybe maintain LC)? Or do you feel that I don't have any more chance to get her back in this situation?
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