Be thankful when they don't contact you

[nea clementine]

I read it often in LS where some posters feel sad because the exes aren't even trying to get in touch once they (posters) start NC. They wonder and analyse why that is; don't they care? Don't they miss me? Have they gotten over me so quickly?

 

I know it sounds really cliche, and this is definitely NOT what you want to hear, but believe me when I say that it's a good thing they don't even try to contact you. You may think, or feel, that a little contact from them can do no harm. But take it from me, it will only keep you attached. Remember the mantra: out of sight (ear?), out of mind. Same goes for NC.

 

Unless you are planning on getting back together, the only way out of the post-breakup limbo is by staying NC. It doesn't really matter who's contacting whom first. In my experience, any contact of any kind in the past has kept me hanging to the thinnest hope that maybe, maybe, the ex wanted me back...when in fact, he'd made it very clear that he wanted out.

 

A very wise friend once quoted that letting go is hope, holding on is attachment. If you claim that you really, truly love them and, more importantly, love yourself, give both of you some space to get over each other and mourn the breakup. Don't hold on to the "what if he's not contacting me because he's waiting for me to initiate?" Let go of all the what-ifs and maybes, and detach yourself from that kind of thinking. Be patient with your heart, it is a slow learner. After all, grieving knows no limit.

 

Do not be afraid to start, and stay NC. As Dylan McKay said it, "May the bridges I burn light the way." Keep walking. Follow the light. Forget crumbs.

 

 

P.S. I'm 11-month NC