Janik Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I dated this guy for almost two years. A year ago we broke up (his choice) because our relationship was really ****ty. We fought multiple times a day, spent every second of every day together and he was really miserable. I realized I needed to change after we broke up. Not two weeks later he found a rebound to date, who he had promised me for weeks that she was nothing but a friend. We ended up getting back together because I slept with his best friend (the guy is a huge man whore and I had done it before I dated my boyfriend so I figured he wouldn't care since he had another girl now) and he realized he still loved me. Up until a few days ago I was trying to change myself constantly, thinking that his bad mood and our fighting was always my fault, but little did I know it was because he just couldn't get over what happened the first time around. To me all we went through made us stronger and an amazing couple, to him it was the opposite.. it was just too much for him to handle. So he left AGAIN. I get that he was probably trying to make it work and after a while just couldn't take it anymore, but how fair is it that he used to blame our fights on me when he couldn't forget what had happened. I messed up a lot, I know, but so did he and I forgave him. I can't expect him to stay with me if he wasn't happy but doesn't me it doesn't suck and he didn't have to treat me like **** for the last few months of our relationship. It seemed that he was done with it a long time ago, I could just never accept it until I forced him to decided whether he wanted me or not. C: I love you yet I hate you so much. You made me a better person and then you ripped the last two years of my life away from me. Right now I can't forgive you for not being able to grow up and move on, but I know I will in a few months. We will be best friends in a few years from now, but only when you learn to do stuff on your own instead of having your mother or me tell you what to do. I hope you grow up, because according to your ex from the 7th grade (my hair dresser) you haven't changed one bit and it's been almost 7 years. I miss you every day, but I just want you too be happy. If you start dating someone in a month like most people think you will, I will lose a lot of respect for you. Please be strong for once, live your life and figure out who you want to be. I will always love you. I'm scared of never finding someone else. I haven't been truly alone for over 2 years and it hurts. It feels like part of me has been ripped away. I keep busy, see friends, do a bunch of stuff for myself that I've always wanted to do but haven't, instead of wallowing in self pity like I did last year. I want it to be enough. It has to be. I need this, I need to get out of this strong and prove to myself that I can keep my life as amazing as it is without my anchor. No matter what it takes. Please help me be strong.
GinaM Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Ohhh, thats what I am afraid..If we love man we are ready to believe him for a second time... I am not sure I can survive if he will break with me for the second time... I ve read many posts here, almost in 90% nothing works out if you agree to date him again
Author Janik Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 Going back together for a second time is always a tricky thing.. You see it work for some people but most of the time it doesn't because to be honest things don't change that much so the original problem will always be there.
Mack05 Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Janik how did you push him away? Why did you feel that you had to change for him?
Author Janik Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 All I wanted to do was make him happy. I thought he was the perfect guy for me and I would be with him for the rest of my life. The first time we broke up I really did need to change, not necessarily for him, but for myself. I was going through a bad part of my life and wasn't myself. When we got back together, he almost made me feel like I had to change, like I wasn't good enough. Looking at it now I see that instead of ever telling me how really felt, he just let me think it was all my fault and that I was the one who had to change. I see now that I shouldn't have to change for someone if they truly love me. Sure we won't get along 100% and we can work on things, but not to the point that I was trying to change for him.
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