Gironbachs Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I've been seeing this girl I had an initial acquaintance with for close to a month. Nothing official, but casual dating that we both acknowledged has the potential to go somewhere. Flirty texts all day, passionate kisses to close out the evening, hand holding, blushing, etc.discussions about us seriously dating, exclusively, etc. Shea significantly younger than me, and that hasn't really been an issue. We both went through bad break ups in the last year and sometimes she claims she wants to be single, other times it's like we're a couple. Last week, she started backing off. Nothing happened, but her initiating contact with me dropped off dramatically. After a few days of this, and me playing it pretty cool.. I simply asked her what was up. She said nothing, and remarked she had been busy lately. She's been at the beach the last several days and she has texted me a few times, even apologized for 'being distant'. I'm making a concerted effort to not seem concerned, worried, or god forbid clingy.. But I really like this woman, would eventually like to be in a relationship.. But her interest seems to be waning. At this stage of the game, I've no right to expect anything from her, make no demands of her or her time... But I'm starting to feel like a schmoe. Then again, the mixed signals I'm getting are messing with my head. Am I being paranoid? Should just relax and wait for her to come around, or should I be proactive and work to keep things moving forward? This is a bummer, and things are definitely not moving in the direction I want them too. Thanks LS!
dasein Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 You aren't being paranoid at all, in all likelihood she is partying at the beach with other guys. Up to you if you want to keep spending your attention on that option or move onto other options. If it turns out, though, that she was partying it up with other guys, and her telling you she was "busy" was a cover, write her off, she's not worth your time.
Author Gironbachs Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 Nope, her parents own a beach house in an decidedly nonparty oceanside town and they are there this weekend as well ( they practically live down there) so, nope.. That's not what's happening at all.
bluenightowl Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Am I being paranoid? Should just relax and wait for her to come around, or should I be proactive and work to keep things moving forward? This is a bummer, and things are definitely not moving in the direction I want them too. Thanks LS! hmm. doesn't sound good. The hot and cold usually means something is going on. Communicating is usually the best option, but be prepared to move on and /or backup completely. The alternative is to just stop calling her for a while, and get busy with your life.
phineas Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Nope, her parents own a beach house in an decidedly nonparty oceanside town and they are there this weekend as well ( they practically live down there) so, nope.. That's not what's happening at all. Does she invite you?
Feelsgoodman Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 This may sound counterintuitive, but the only thing that *might* work is you starting to lose interest as well. Whenever women sense that a man is starting to lose interest, they very often try to pull him back in. Women, in general, hate the idea of losing control over a man and no longer being the object of his interest. That is why women like to friendzone guys so much. They don't want to date them, but they don't want to let them go either. If this happens, you have to play your cards right. Basically, you need to remain cool and somewhat distant and let her chase you, not the other way around.
Author Gironbachs Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 Well, she just texted and wants to get together. Maybe things are great, maybe she wants to tell me she's not into anymore.... Who knows. Now I'm really confused. I just don't want to get hurt. I really like this girl. I'm hoping for the best, expecting much less.. I guess that's the way to o.
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