Cleric Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 My girlfriend and I have recently gotten back together after five months of seperation and have had a good, solid relationship for the past three months now. However, she recently told me that she is moving to another country and is trying to find a way to stay in our hometown, despite the fact that she has little to no income available to be looking for a home. Therefore, she's been asking me to find a place to stay with her in order for us to continue our relationship. Normally, this would not be a problem as I care for her deeply. However, a small incident occurred this week where her and one of her guy friends got drunk in the back of my car and quickly kissed each other. After confronting her she said that she wouldn't do it again but a large majority of her friends are male so I'm worried for our relationship. In addition ,her ex, a man she admits to still being good friends with, has offered her a place to stay in case she needs one. Should I continue my relationship with my girlfriend after seeing her behavior in my car? Should I offer to give her a place to stay, thereby pushing our relationship to another level? (Help!) -C
PegNosePete Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 If I were you I would not continue the relationship. She cheated on you in the back of your own car. She has absolutely no respect for you or your relationship.
Netter300 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 First off, I'm sorry to hear about what going through. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost 4 years and I can tell you we have had our fair share of ups and downs. Random kisses and what not, so I understand what you’re going through. As your problem, yes and no. Alcohol makes you do stupid things. And from what you said about being in a solid relationship - if you believe that she’s sorry and it won’t happen again from your conversation, then stick with it. As for living with the Ex, every guy would have a problem with it , I would – But if you think it will help keep her here, (and you want her to stay) I would have a conversation with the ex, and just make things clear about what’s to be expected if she lived there. However, if you don't have any of the above feelings then you shouldn't do it. You can get as many opinions as you want but in the end you need to decide what to do. Again, girlfriends with male friends make us nervous but, all it really comes down to is trust and being open with your partner.
Bryanp Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 She kissed another guy in the backseat of your car while you were driving. What more needs to be said? Move on.
Chi townD Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Sounds like she's giving you an ultimatium, either I stay with you or I can move in with my Ex boyfriend and he'll take care of me. I say don't let the door hit you on the rear on the way out!
Author Cleric Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 Hey guys, My relationship with my girlfriend has taken an odd turn. She recently moved away with her family to a foreign country after not having money to stay here and we have been messaging each other everyday to keep communicating. However she says that she does trust being in a stable relationship with someone who is "so resentful of the past". (Again, she kissed another guy in the back seat of my car while drunk a week before she left.) Should I be worried if she is hanging out with other guy friends in this new country, where I clearly cant be with her? She has admitted to drinking with her guy friends in her pajamas..I do not know what to make of that. Should I be worried or am I simply overthinking things and miss my girlfriend? Advice would be helpful.
Professor X Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 The only thing you should be doing is break it up with her. How dare she call YOU "resentful" for HER promiscuous behavior! I guess the fact you're still with her even though the OP was from September means you're somewhat of a doormat. So, I suppose you're gonna stay with her no matter what. So for your question, yes, you should be worried, but how does that help? You can't do jack.
Netter2001 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 For one thing I don’t think calling you a door mat helpful. Clearly you care for your girlfriend and miss her but I don’t think your completely over thinking things. Given, long distance relationships are hard and anything the other does naturally gets spun out of proportion, but if you guys have been together for four years, and you feel uncomfortable or worried about something, shouldn’t you be talking to her? Id rather have answers and get thing out in the open, then worry about something that might or might not be happening.
Desensitized Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 If you don't respect yourself, don't break up with her. If you do, however, then break up with her.
Author Cleric Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 I would be talking to her but its gotten to the point where she gets so worked up that she barely lets me get a word in. The last week we've spent trying to patch things up consisted of her talking for an hour straight and me not being able to get a word in. At this point she only wants me to talk to her when she feels that I am "committed" to the relationship by showing her that I booked the flight (which costs alot of money) to her country of residence.
Amorfati Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Continuing to your relationship or breaking up now, totally depends on your tolerance for this "small incidents". It happened once, and based on her reaction, it is highly possible that it will happen again. So, if you think they are not much important, just go on like this. But i dont think this is something forgivable even on your back seat. And definitely you are not resentful, because of what happened.
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