somedude81 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I work at a retail job in a medium sized store. There's a handful of girls that are cute that I could be interested in. My issue is that I'd most likely get rejected by every one I ask out. Then things might become awkward afterwards. Is it something I should bother with?
Cypress25 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Have you gotten positive signals from any of them? The problem is, if you ask out one of them and she says no, you can't ask out any of the others. Because they'll realize that you're just trying all of them until one of them says yes.
mo mo Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I think you need to do something about boosting your own confidence before you consider asking anyone out.
PratyekaYana Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I work at a retail job in a medium sized store. There's a handful of girls that are cute that I could be interested in. My issue is that I'd most likely get rejected by every one I ask out. Then things might become awkward afterwards. Is it something I should bother with? Even if you should successfully initiate a relationship with one of the young women you mentioned, you still have to contend with the troubles that accompany dating someone at your place of work. If she for example has no kind of conversational restraint, then whatever experiences you've shared with her in the relationship become public knowledge. That wouldn't exactly be an end of the world scenario, mind you, but I know I would feel uncomfortable working around people that knew my private life so intimately. There's also the issue of escape. Should you clash with her over some issue, you then run the risk of having to deal with the aftermath of the conflict both outside of and at work. It can become somewhat smothering. I would advise you against getting involved.
Author somedude81 Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 Have you gotten positive signals from any of them? What do you mean by positive signals? Frankly I don't have a clue how to tell the difference between friendliness and possible interest. Heck the girl who seemed the most curious about me and kept asking me my age, brought up that she had a boyfriend. Another girl who seemed particularly nice is actually married The problem is, if you ask out one of them and she says no, you can't ask out any of the others. Because they'll realize that you're just trying all of them until one of them says yes.Really? I only get one shot? Do they talk amongst themselves about stuff like that? I think you need to do something about boosting your own confidence before you consider asking anyone out. Completely irrelevant. BTW, getting a yes would boost my confidence Even if you should successfully initiate a relationship with one of the young women you mentioned, you still have to contend with the troubles that accompany dating someone at your place of work. If she for example has no kind of conversational restraint, then whatever experiences you've shared with her in the relationship become public knowledge. That wouldn't exactly be an end of the world scenario, mind you, but I know I would feel uncomfortable working around people that knew my private life so intimately. There's also the issue of escape. Should you clash with her over some issue, you then run the risk of having to deal with the aftermath of the conflict both outside of and at work. It can become somewhat smothering. I would advise you against getting involved. LOL, I have put in absolutely zero thought into what would happen if one of the girls actually said yes. There is many things to think about, for example what you said and what happens if we break up etc. But I'll cross that bridge if I get to it.
Cypress25 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Really? I only get one shot? Do they talk amongst themselves about stuff like that? Learn this lesson and learn it well: WOMEN TALK. If you ask out one of them, the rest will know. If you start dating one of them, the rest will know. Women gossip; that's why they're so good at stabbing each other in the back.
PratyekaYana Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Learn this lesson and learn it well: WOMEN TALK. If you ask out one of them, the rest will know. If you start dating one of them, the rest will know. Women gossip; that's why they're so good at stabbing each other in the back. +1 With rare exceptions, there is no such thing as confidentiality when it comes to the fairer sex and the subjects of their conversation. To approach one of the women in the workplace is to essentially approach them all; and a negative response from one will likely, as Cypress stated, result in a negative response from the herd. Choose wisely.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 It is a very bad idea. And here's why. If you two break up, and both of you continue working together, that will put tension on both of you, which will impact both of your jobs. If you're willing to lose employment because of this, or have someone lose employment because of you, then go ahead. Otherwise, I would avoid the risk.
UpDownAllAround Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 It is a very bad idea. And here's why. If you two break up, and both of you continue working together, that will put tension on both of you, which will impact both of your jobs. If you're willing to lose employment because of this, or have someone lose employment because of you, then go ahead. Otherwise, I would avoid the risk. This. This is exactly why I don't even try dating co-workers.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 This. This is exactly why I don't even try dating co-workers. Believe me, I've seen it happen. And it isn't pretty. One guy got fired because his ex got vindictive. Ever since then, I've resigned myself to not asking out co-workers. Yeah sure, you see them every day, but it's YOUR job on the line!
Author somedude81 Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 Learn this lesson and learn it well: WOMEN TALK. If you ask out one of them, the rest will know. If you start dating one of them, the rest will know. Women gossip; that's why they're so good at stabbing each other in the back. +1 With rare exceptions, there is no such thing as confidentiality when it comes to the fairer sex and the subjects of their conversation. To approach one of the women in the workplace is to essentially approach them all; and a negative response from one will likely, as Cypress stated, result in a negative response from the herd. Choose wisely. LOL, the herd. Would a girl really tell the other girls, SD81 asked me out and I said no? I wouldn't randomly ask out everybody, I'd do it after getting to know them; unless that automatically puts me in the friendzone. Ugh, the last thing I'd want to happen is somebody go out with me and not know it's a date. That's actually happened before and we hung out a lot and never knew I liked her. I think being coworkers makes it harder to tell. It is a very bad idea. And here's why. If you two break up, and both of you continue working together, that will put tension on both of you, which will impact both of your jobs. If you're willing to lose employment because of this, or have someone lose employment because of you, then go ahead. Otherwise, I would avoid the risk. Totally worth the risk. For one, I'd actually have to date somebody first before she can break up with me And two, it's a stupid little retail job that I can quit any time if things start getting complicated.
madjac74 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 LOL, the herd. Would a girl really tell the other girls, SD81 asked me out and I said no? I wouldn't randomly ask out everybody, I'd do it after getting to know them; unless that automatically puts me in the friendzone. Ugh, the last thing I'd want to happen is somebody go out with me and not know it's a date. That's actually happened before and we hung out a lot and never knew I liked her. I think being coworkers makes it harder to tell. Nothing is sacred in the workplace. I work for a large company with at least 130 people on just my shift and believe me everyone somehow seems to know everyones business especially when co-workers are bangin each other. Yes girls talk...thats where I get most of my work gossip from To be fair though if a guy scores with one of his female co-workers then all the male co-workers are likely to hear about it. Totally worth the risk. For one, I'd actually have to date somebody first before she can break up with me And two, it's a stupid little retail job that I can quit any time if things start getting complicated. A girl is easier to get than a job
Dust Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 If you do get a reputation as the guy who asks girls out non stop at work that will only work in you’re favor. If a girl actually confronts you about it she probably likes you. Also the other guys should give you high fives because if they give you trouble something’s wrong with them not you. Look this is a throw away job for you. It’s not a career. Who cares if it gets a little awkward at work? If this were you’re career I’d say think about it. Since this is just some job you don’t care about you might as well realize that yes you should go for it. Not only should you go for it but don’t be afraid to be aggressive.
SmileFace Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Don't **** where you eat. That is the answer to this question
madjac74 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 If you do get a reputation as the guy who asks girls out non stop at work that will only work in you’re favor. If a girl actually confronts you about it she probably likes you. Also the other guys should give you high fives because if they give you trouble something’s wrong with them not you. Look this is a throw away job for you. It’s not a career. Who cares if it gets a little awkward at work? If this were you’re career I’d say think about it. Since this is just some job you don’t care about you might as well realize that yes you should go for it. Not only should you go for it but don’t be afraid to be aggressive. A guy who asks every girl out at work = desperate. How is that going to work out in his favor? What girl is going to want to be the one to go out with him after he has asked every other girl at work to go out.
Dust Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Don't **** where you eat. That is the answer to this question When you’re getting paid by the hour like in a shty retail job taking crap just means you’re getting paid to do it. He could essentially be getting paid to pick up and fck the sht out of some fit women. I say go for it! They’ll probably promote you. I’ve always, always hit on women where I work when I was single. The one time it came back to bite me was never! If you actually cared about the job I’d consider telling you not to do it. Even then though its usually worth it to just hit on women where you work if you really like them. Women have more to lose then men. Just remember that. You’ll be the hero. (sorry laides double standards)
Dust Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 A guy who asks every girl out at work = desperate. How is that going to work out in his favor? What girl is going to want to be the one to go out with him after he has asked every other girl at work to go out. I think worrying about looking desperate is the most desperate. Somedude81 actually is some what pick. The guy has been focused on one girl for going on years! If he hits on one girl at work it can only do him good. I really doubt he is attracted to every girl he works with. I’d be shocked if he was actually considering hitting on more then one. If there is more then one start with the one he likes the most and by the time he figures that out the job will probably be over and a few more years will have passed by. Seriously though he has everything to gain by doing this. The guy has a mental block and this might help break it.
madjac74 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 He could essentially be getting paid to pick up and fck the sht out of some fit women. I say go for it! How do you know they are fit? It could be a big & tall store or walmart
SmileFace Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 When you’re getting paid by the hour like in a shty retail job taking crap just means you’re getting paid to do it. He could essentially be getting paid to pick up and fck the sht out of some fit women. I say go for it! They’ll probably promote you. I’ve always, always hit on women where I work when I was single. The one time it came back to bite me was never! If you actually cared about the job I’d consider telling you not to do it. Even then though its usually worth it to just hit on women where you work if you really like them. Women have more to lose then men. Just remember that. You’ll be the hero. (sorry laides double standards) Yes, that worked for you. You probably didn't care if things worked out or not in these situations. Sum doesn't seem like that. He already mentioned that he will quit his job if things got to complicated. That already means he is too sensitive to **** where he eats so I think he shouldn't. It isn't about the job but in this economy that last thing someone needs to do is lose a job over some ass.
SmileFace Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 How do you know they are fit? It could be a big & tall store or walmart Yes, since Big & Tall stores only employ un-fit women. /facedesk
carhill Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Heck, if it's a throw-away job, flirt with the customers and the boss, presuming female
Dust Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 How do you know they are fit? It could be a big & tall store or walmart Yes, since Big & Tall stores only employ un-fit women. /facedesk Well considering Somedude81 himself is neither big nor tall if that were true he couldn’t work there. The fact is just because you work at the gym doesn’t mean you don’t have a gut or man boobs. Just because you work at a place designed for low class people (walmart) doeesn’t mean you yourself are necessarily low class. What ever the case Somedude81 finds these girls attractive so it doesn’t matter what they look like as long as he seems to want to see them naked. Heck, if it's a throw-away job, flirt with the customers and the boss, presuming female Seriously, the last time I worked retail I was in college like somedude the hours were flexible and it was a free for all. This was a very big professional company so its not like I was working for a mom and pop shop with no rules. They had plenty of rules that no one cared about. Yes we even hit on the managers. If you work at the mall then you have to sht at the mall eventually. Also you should hit on girls too and not ever think of it as ****ting. Think of it as eating. The work is the sht.
grkBoy Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I work at a retail job in a medium sized store. There's a handful of girls that are cute that I could be interested in. My issue is that I'd most likely get rejected by every one I ask out. Then things might become awkward afterwards. Is it something I should bother with? I honestly wouldn't. I did that once and when things fell apart it got messy. If you have to though, then you have to wait and see if you get real interest from one of them. So perhaps they invite you out for post-work drinks, one is giving you lots of attention and even being flirty...or one wants to chat/call/talk to you outside of work. If things are kept "professional only", then I'd assume they're not going to date you. I know when I first started working in an ad agency, I was surrounded by a lot of beautiful professional women. It was a turn on, but I curbed myself when I could see none of them would ever date coworkers. Thankfully I didn't embarrass myself.
madjac74 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 He was the one who opened the topic because he was concerned about making work awkward. Now he is ready to give up his job over some girl he hasnt asked out yet? There are other girls elsewhere where he could keep his job and save face
iris219 Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Have you gotten positive signals from any of them? What do you mean by positive signals? Frankly I don't have a clue how to tell the difference between friendliness and possible interest. Heck the girl who seemed the most curious about me and kept asking me my age, brought up that she had a boyfriend. Another girl who seemed particularly nice is actually married Somedude, you have to learn to recognize these signals. This will make your life MUCH easier. By not recognizing them, you are wasting your time, their time, and getting rejected a lot more than you would otherwise. Just because a woman is friendly, doesn't mean she wants you to ask her out. I'm friendly to everyone, but I'm never flirtatious unless I have romantic interest in someone. I don't give male acquaintances or coworkers flirty looks, I don't touch them, I don't make a habit of complimenting them unnecessarily, I don't go out of my way to talk to them, I don't indirectly suggest we should hang out. This is my way of defining boundaries and women do not want these boundaries violated. Men who violate what we consider clearly defined boundaries can quickly become known as creepy or annoying. If your coworkers have not done any of the above, DO NOT ask any of these women out.
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