Lost on Jerseyshore Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I posted this over on the divorce boards and didnt get any replys so I thought I would come over here in hopes of someone responding. I am adding a little to it because I have a few more questions. Long story short I am going through a breakup with a man that I have lived with for 2 years and loved deeply. He initiated the move 3 weeks ago saying he needs "space & time" to figure out what he wants from life and us. I thought we had a perfect relationship,really, there were NO clues what so ever that this was coming! I am sick over this, and to make matters worse we WORK together!! So I have been dealing with trying to heal my heart and get through the days without him and today I get a call out of the blue from my EX HUSBAND who I havent talked to in many, many months. We split up just over 2 yrs ago, no children from the marriage. He told me that he loves me still and cant be with anyone else and that he is so sorry he did what he did. (cheated, thats why I divorced him) He wants to see me and "talk". I am so heartbroken over my boyfriend, and I am single now,I told him maybe. I am so confused, I dont know what to do except cry and wish it would all just stop!!! Alittle background info..married 10 years I was headover heels in love with exH but I found out he was having an affair and he also was starting to drink ALOT,became abusive and I kicked him out of the house, and never looked back and started dating my BF rather quickly. Yes maybe it was an escape from my sadness, but now I dont know if I should give my exhusband the time of day or I should really listen to what he has to say. I am NOT interested in anyway geting involoved with exhusband. I went through hell getting over him and will NOT take a 2nd chance on getting hurt from him again!! Please give me some advice on this. Also I have had limited contact with exbf over the last 3 weeks and today he asked for NC outside of work. Why after 3 weeks would he decide on NC? Thankyou all!!
wilsonx Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 He went NC outside of work because he's about to start seeing someone else. As for the breakup with your husband stick to your guns on this. Treat your ex boyfriend the same way as your ex husband. Give him what he wants. NC forever. I obviously can't tell you what to do but I can suggest, take some time to yourself and find out what you really want in a partner. Reflect on your 2 past relationships and common trends and create personal boundaries so that you do not deal with these same types of people again. One is the same as the other. You will see a pattern if you take time to look for redflags in the relationship
ConfusedT Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 who knows why people do things? but dont you worry your pretty little mind over it. if someone doesnt want you in their life, however hard it is, open the door for them and let them walk out. it is for the best. dont ever try to force someone to be there if they dont want to... youll just end up hurt. in regards to your ex, i would go speak to him since you are completely healed over him, BUT because you are emotionally vulnerable, you have to figure out whether you are strong enough to do it. only you know that. isnt it crazy how the ex's only notice us when we're far gone.. sad, but true!
Author Lost on Jerseyshore Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 Thanks guys for some clarity in the situation. I had a really tough day yesterday and I think I am starting to see the need to keep both relationships seperate and move on from both. I love my exbf but I cant make him love me, and I DONT WANT TO BE SAD ANYMORE!! I am to happy of a person to be like this, Oh well its HIS loss that he doesnt want happiness from me in his life!!! As far as my exHUSBAND, sure I loved him to pieces and the happiest day of my life was the day that I married him, but he killed our love many years ago and I will not be hurt,controlled or played with again! Oh I hope this good day continues because its the 1st time in weeks that I feel ok.... !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Recommended Posts