Jonnyy Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Im sure some of you know my story by now. But anyways, I have been NC with my ex for a couple weeks. I defriended her on fb and i hadnt replied to any of her messages or texts or anything. Although i was pretty good friends with her cousin, who is a girl, while we are dating, and we are all at the same college. My ex was upset that i talked to her cousin and hung out with her once even though i dont talk to my ex or anything at all. We eventually ran into each other out side our dorm building and she came up to me saying we need to talk. So, being nice, i said yeah sure. She basically just told me i was upsetting her and she was mad at me and that i cant talk to her cousin anymore and that i am being a jerk, even though i honestly dont believe i did anything wrong. I mean shes the one who broke up with me and is now with another guy who is 6 years older. Throughout this whole argument/convo i asked her if she still had any feelings for me or if there was ever a chance of us ever getting back together, she just flat out said no, although i think i remember her saying idk too when i asked. Anyway she brought up all these little insignificant things from our past and tried putting the blame on me for our break up and was trying so hard to justify her breaking up with me. Throughout this whole time i had been nothing but a gentlemen. She also didnt understand why i wasnt talking to her, even though i told her several time, she just didnt get that i was doing it for me to heal and to move on. She told me to leave so i did. That night i re added her on fb and the next day she accepted. She also then texted me asking if i wanted to go with her to get her books. I was, again being a nice guy and professional about all this, and said i would and went with her. We ran into some of my friends that were girls on the way which i stopped and said hi to and talked a small bit. But i feel like my ex got upset about it and a little uncomfortable. We then ran into some of my buddies, guys, and she said "well you should go hang out with them cuz im gonna go back up to my room and check myself" (she had her period) I said ok. My buddies were going to the beach and i wasnt really in the beach mood so i went back up to my room and i texted my ex saying "hey so they were going to the beach so i just went back up to my room. so if you wanna hang when your done checking, just let me know ha" she replied with just an ok. I never heard from her since then and that was a few days ago. Two nights ago though i was out walking around with some friends (there were girls in the group) and i saw my ex walking holding hands with her 24 year old guy and im pretty sure she saw me too. I just didnt even think about it cuz i was trying to be happy and move on. But now, tonight, i see that she defreinded me on facebook when she was the one who got so upset when i defriended her. What is she doing? anyone know? Someone on here told me to write her like a final letter explaining why im going to do NC. i thought he worded it very well and i am considering writing one and giving it to one of her friends to give to her. Any ideas guys? i just really want to know her motives on all of this. ANy insight anyone can give me? i would also appreciate some advice opinions or input of any kind. Thanks!
Nohbody Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 She has no right to tell you to hang out with or not to hang out with, so you can tell her to f right off in that regard. If you want to send her a letter through the friend chain, go ahead. You don't need to. Go NC, don't bother explaining yourself, you don't have to. You don't owe her anything. You are looking out for you, and that's all you have to do. Good luck, please keep us posted as things develop.
wilsonx Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 continue NC, date her cousin if you want to. I would suggest against it but don't let her tell you what to do or not to do. You do not owe her anything, not even the time of day. Good Luck
Author Jonnyy Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 This is what someone on here told me to do and im wondering if now is a good time to do it. "What you can do and should do is compose an NC letter stating that No Contact isn't punishment to her, but you still have feelings for her and anytime you see or hear from her puts up a roadblock in your healing. You're trying to get over her and let her go. You have a hard time doing that if she still around. Let her know that what you two had was great but she broke up with you, and decide that you weren't going to be part of her life anymore and you have to have NC to make those adjustments in your life..." See, by doing that you don't come off as a desperate jerk and you've laid it out tactfully and it isn't distasteful. That's all you should need." - Chi townD I feel like this is a good way to do this, but i guess im just looking for a second opinion.
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