Art_Critic Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 I'll bet to the bolded! ... busted.. I'm a romantic at heart.. that is something that doesn't come out much on LS...
Nexus One Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Lucky me I always had my iPod and laptop! And vibrator!
threebyfate Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 ... busted.. I'm a romantic at heart.. that is something that doesn't come out much on LS...Head. Heart. Head. Heart. I hear you.
FitChick Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Let's hope she uses birth control so she doesn't find herself in the same situation again.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 And vibrator! FALSE!!! Lol never owned one, I am the little innocent one . When good girls go bad though... lol jk!
ScienceGal Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 What it is now is is the person worthy of a second chance and are they fully/truly remorseful. I am one to believe in second chances in a relationship providing what caused the need for a second chance gets fixed. This is a tough one to figure out. But in D's defense, I would have went to brunch also . And I'll cast a vote that they are NOT having sex!
threebyfate Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Let's hope she uses birth control so she doesn't find herself in the same situation again.What's with the nasty comments? People are unbelievable when they're hiding behind usernames.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 I bet that she had errands to run after!! I highly doubt they are having break-up sex. She said last night she might have but that now she has a clear head.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 I like D, very rare for me to like anyone on here, but she's so nice and funny...never condescending. I just wish the best possible outcome from all this...she cannot take another heartbreak. Agreed, I don't want anyone on here to really experience heartbreak. No one deserves to be hurt! Especially people like D.
Duckduckgoose Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 She's probably reading this and LOLing her ass off right now as we all wait with bated breath to know what happened.
Nexus One Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 They're playing chess. It's the only logical explanation.
Author D-Lish Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 I just got back- and No I didn't sleep with him, I told him I wouldn't from the start and he respected that. the closest we got to being intimate was he laid his head on my lap while we watched a movie. We actually discussed all the reasons why we aren't compatible, and that even though we like one another on a personal level and are physically attracted to one another that it would never work. He said he's been conflicted since the break up because the incompatibilities outweigh the compatibilities. I agreed with him. And with regard to the birth control- the condom broke the last time. We met for brunch, then went for a walk and talked, then watched a couple of movies, had dinner and we hugged and said good-bye. It was a weird but good day. I also told him that I know I would always have what he did to me in the back of my mind and that would lead to resentment at some point. We talked a lot about his inability to connect on an intimate level and that he knows it's a big issue for him that he doesn't know how to overcome. I pointed out that if we got back together that 3 months down the road he'd most likely begin to withdraw and he agreed that has always been his pattern with women. I haven't read all the posts- I'm going to go back and do that now. We're not getting back together, but I feel very much like I have that closure that I've been seeking for the past 4 1/2 months.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 D I am glad you got the closure you needed!! I am happy for you, now you get to move forward and be as happy as you deserve!
Nexus One Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 I feel very much like I have that closure that I've been seeking for the past 4 1/2 months. I'm happy for you. Must feel like knot has been untied inside of you and you can sigh of relief. Finally you can get on with your life. PS: I didn't actually think you guys were having break-up sex. The chess theory seemed a lot more likely to me. That and table tennis.
Duckduckgoose Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 He can't connect on an intimate level, but he sure doesn't mind sticking his dick in women, then leaving them. He needs therapy. And probably a vasectomy too.
Author D-Lish Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 Hey BABY!!! I think it's funny everyone was wagering on whether or not I was getting laid. I actually didn't shave on purpose to avoid the scenario. I needed these past 2 days on so many levels. I don't feel like I am to blame for the demise of the relationship. I feel like I left him with a lasting impression of the girl he first met- and not the emotional pregnant girl he knew when we broke up. I was always bothered thinking he hated me- and knowing he was actually in as much pain as I was just makes me feel better- that I wasn't something he discarded and never gave a second thought to. I think he's lost 15- 20 lbs. I'm sad, and there were more tears today- but I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulders- he absolved me of the guilt, blame and shame I've been internalizing since he dumped me. I can now walk away from this break up knowing that I was not the horrible person I believed myself to be. I made it clear we shouldn't see one another again, at least not for a long while. There will be no adding one another back on facebook or another day like we had today. As much as I am an emotionally vulnerable person, I didn't feel like sleeping with him today. I thought about it, sure, but I was logical enough to know it would lead to a huge setback.
Author D-Lish Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 A nice, sound ending to a long journey. Now as the popular hip hop artist, Lupe Fiasco says, "The show goes on, alright." Thanks, still some healing left to do, but I think I can now do some healthy healing knowing his issues are his own burden, and I was not accountable for much of what I believed myself to be. Did you see fright night? No, we watched Beerfest and The Crazies at his place. I'm happy for you. Must feel like knot has been untied inside of you and you can sigh of relief. Finally you can get on with your life. PS: I didn't actually think you guys were having break-up sex. The chess theory seemed a lot more likely to me. That and table tennis. Well, I was gone a long time- I am not surprised it crossed people's minds:cool:. Had I slept with him, I would have lost perspective and I knew that going in. We didn't even make out or anything. We had physical contact with hugging and his head on my lap while we watched the second movie, but that was it. He can't connect on an intimate level, but he sure doesn't mind sticking his dick in women, then leaving them. He needs therapy. And probably a vasectomy too. Agreed, he needs therapy, but he'll never go, and that's his burden, no longer mine.
Author D-Lish Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 Damn Internet huggs suck, but it's all I have... (((huggs)))) BTW, this is Eric..... We all love you, D...this thread proves it. I always know when it's you E. Thanks for the cyber-hug and the kind words.
Art_Critic Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 You got your head screwed on the right way girl... I'd love to say I'm happy for you but that seems mean since I know you are still going thru it but I'll just say I'm happy that you did it this way..
Author D-Lish Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 I wanted add to this.. because I am one to believe in the benefit of a doubt too.. but really that time has passed.. What it is now is is the person worthy of a second chance and are they fully/truly remorseful. I am one to believe in second chances in a relationship providing what caused the need for a second chance gets fixed. Well I won't lie- we discussed what a second chance would look like and both agreed that regardless of the good things we had going for us- what we were missing wouldn't ever change. We had sexual incompatibilities, and some major personality conflicts that would make it impossible for us to make it as a couple. He's never going to seek therapy or help for his issues. I think the main thing that resonates for me regarding our break up is when he said "I don't know what love is, I don't think I've ever been in love before"... I'd be insecure in a second chance with him knowing that. I'd always question his sincerity. At least I got multiple apologies. The manner and state in which he left me was really crappy. Believe it or not- what I think I've been needing this whole time is an apology and a relief of blame.
Author D-Lish Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 I'll bet to the bolded! Okay, in all seriousness, I totally agree. This is her life and she's an adult who's fully responsible for herself. Whatever her course of action, I'm here to listen/read and support. I always say that I am a better coach than a player when it comes to dating- but when it comes to self respect, I held my own on this one. Sleeping with him would have degraded me and put me back in a place where I don't want to be. What saved me is that I avoid putting myself in situations that will hurt me. I'll do everything possible to avoid that- which is why I sabotage relationships in the first place, because I think ahead to the break up as soon as I fall for someone. That "flaw" actually saved me from sleeping with him, because I knew if we slept together we would have started dating again. I was thinking ahead about sleeping together= probably get back together= me hurt again. That made it easier to say no. Also- spending these last two days together has provided me with a different perspective. Maybe a two day good-bye was a little excessive, but when he left last night to go to his hockey game I felt like there were still some loose ends. I no longer feel that way. I know after what he did I didn't have to or maybe shouldn't have given him the consideration I did- but despite feeling like I've had a little setback emotionally, I also feel liberated from this whole ordeal. I always appreciate your support- and you DID call it, that he would come back someday.... I never believed it, but he did.
Author D-Lish Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 I don't post things like this often but... Here's many smiles for you :) and one bunny I know you have a soft side Mr.
visualbasicide Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 Wow, had to read a novel to get to where I could make an informed reply. Grats on the closure, you make it sound like the thing the rest of us imagine it is. Kudos on your resolve, I am sure you will keep your head about you and everything moving forward will be better than anything that came before.
tigressA Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 D, I am so, so happy for you. You got all that you needed from this and you really sound like you are ready to finally move on from him. Big props to you for staying so strong. And I LOVE the avatar. :love::bunny::)
Nexus One Posted September 6, 2011 Posted September 6, 2011 *looks at D-Lish's avatar* D-Lish, are you really wearing that shirt?
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