D-Lish Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 I was out shopping and my ex text me out of the blue a couple of hours ago and said he'd gotten my e-mail, then asked if he could talk to me. I just got in, he should be here any time now. I am so shocked, I never in a million years expected to hear from him ever again. I have no idea what this is about, but I'm panicked and I feel sick to my stomach.
threebyfate Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Oh D, I don't know what to say beyond stating that I'm here to support.
Zaphod B Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Well I hope it doesn't make matters worse. Can't help but wish my ex would do the same.
country_gurl Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Sorry, I don't admittedly know your history here. What did he mean that he'd gotten your email? When did you send your ex an email and what was the content of the email? Would him wanting to talk to you have something to do with the email? Did you end on bad terms? How long ago? If seeing him makes you feel upset or scared, you don't have to see him you know, you don't have to answer your door. If I had an ex I wasn't on good terms with and they just "announced" they were on their way over without bothering to ASK me if it was okay, I'd be miffed.
Nexus One Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Whatever you do when you guys talk, don't take decisions immediately, let them sink in and reflect upon them. Even if that means you have to tell him that you have to think about it, whatever "it" may be.
threebyfate Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 D, if he hasn't shown up yet, talk it out. Is he presently dating or in a relationship with anyone else? What do you think his motives are to come see you? What do you want to happen?
donnamaybe Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Is this the guy you talked about in the other thread who didn't back you up when one of "those types of girls" was playing games with you? If so, I wouldn't let him back into my life if I were you.
Nexus One Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Is this the guy you talked about in the other thread who didn't back you up when one of "those types of girls" was playing games with you? If so, I wouldn't let him back into my life if I were you. I think it's the guy that left her after she had a miscarriage when she was pregnant from him. D-Lish sent him an e-mail that she wanted to talk to him and wanted to keep the possibility open for friendship. From what I know the guy hasn't answered the e-mail for quite a while, but either has just now read the e-mail, or needed time to think about it, or he has other reasons for suddenly reacting to the e-mail.
threebyfate Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 *twitches nervously* Hope all is going well with you, D.
Nexus One Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 *twitches nervously* Hope all is going well with you, D. Hopefully he didn't chop her into pieces and is now cleaning and scrubbing the apartment from evidence. That would be bad, we'd then have to call the Toronto po'lees if we don't hear from her within 24 hours.
threebyfate Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Hopefully he didn't chop her into pieces and is now cleaning and scrubbing the apartment from evidence. That would be bad, we'd then have to call the Toronto po'lees if we don't hear from her within 24 hours.While I know you're being funny, the last thing D needs is for the ex to contact her. It really concerns me considering how much he hurt her by running away. She's still quite vulnerable.
Nexus One Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 It really concerns me considering how much he hurt her by running away. She's still quite vulnerable. I share that thought.
Arikel Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Be strong D-lish ... like other posters have said, don't expect anything good, don't commit to anything! All the best
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 I wish you all the best!!!! I am soo sorry you are so upset by this and I hope that everything goes well.
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I am actually really concerned, having followed her story. He treated her very poorly at the end. If they were to get back together, I am afraid he would break her heart again, only even worse this time around
Author D-Lish Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 He just left, but we talked for over 3 hours. He showed up just as I was sending off my thread. I'm pretty messy right now. He cried for most of the conversation. I can't believe how bad he looked- he's lost a ton of weight and he's looking gaunt. Basically, he wanted to apologize to me for being an ass-hole. He said he finally opened up to one of his friends and his wife a couple of weeks ago about the pregnancy and both of them basically reemed him out. They have 3 kids, so apparantly they explained to him what it's like to be pregnant. I think she had the most impact telling him he shouldn't have judged me for my emotional behaviour being pregnant because she was the same way. He said he opened up to more of his friends and got an earful from them as well. He said the women really went at him for what he did. He said he's felt so guilty since those conversations after developing more of an understanding. Apparantly he's drafted a few response e-mails and just didn't know if he was saying the right things and has been building up the courage to reach out to me for a while. Don't worry, I am not getting back together with him. He told me he's a messed up person and has a lot of issues to sort through. He admitted that he'd been so back and forth on whether or not he made the right decision that he's just felt sick. We talked about how the majority of our relationship was dealing with a cloud hanging over our heads and that as much as the thought of "going back to the way we were prior to everything that happened"- that it seemed like too much had happened. I got to tell him a lot of things I've been needing to get off my chest. He also mentioned that I always used to make off the cuff comments that led him to believe I didn't see the relationship lasting long term and that made him question things. An example was that I used to joke that 'we could never live together" (Because I am messy and he is a neat freak... I was joking of course, but he said those comments hurt. There was no real talk about getting back together. He just said he missed me and thought about me all the time, but is just too messed up. He had to go to his hockey game, or I think we would have talked a lot longer. I didn't ask if he was seeing anyone, but he asked me. He said he'd been out on a few blind dates a couple months after we broke up and all he could think about was our first date and how great it was and he realized he wasn't ready. Anyway, it ended with a really long hug, both of us crying. Nothing was mentioned about seeing one another again, and that's probably for the best. No sex or anything close to it- but he faced me and looked me in the eyes the whole time and he held both of my hands in his hands for a lot of the conversation. It's hard, it hurt to see him. I was shocked at his appearance. I get the feeling he is depressed but I don't want to speculate. I don't even know what to think right now, I'm both in shock and I can't deny seeing him has messed me up quite a bit. I'm still crying.
Art_Critic Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 I am actually really concerned, having followed her story. He treated her very poorly at the end. If they were to get back together, I am afraid he would break her heart again, only even worse this time around I agree .... Although nobody knows what he will say I would hope he would start with "I'm so sorry and I've gotten some helP with my issues"
Author D-Lish Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 I agree .... Although nobody knows what he will say I would hope he would start with "I'm so sorry and I've gotten some helP with my issues" He did say sorry- I posted what happened above but I think we posted at the same time. He admitted he had issues, but didn't say anything about seeking help. I'm not sitting here wishing we would get back together, I even told him too much has happened to go backwards.
threebyfate Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Talk it out D. I think he'll be back, considering how things were left.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 He did say sorry- I posted what happened above but I think we posted at the same time. He admitted he had issues, but didn't say anything about seeking help. I'm not sitting here wishing we would get back together, I even told him too much has happened to go backwards. I am soo sorry you are hurting right now! I hate seeing anyone is pain and I know the saying "It only hurts for awhile" or "Cry it out" never seems to help, but right now you need to cry, sometimes it really does help. The best part was that you got at least some form of closure, I know that dosn't seem helpful now but tomorrow is a new day and right now you just need to cry or eat ice cream. We are here for you and I REALLY AND TRUELY send you my best wishes and thoughts, get better girly.
Art_Critic Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 ***hugs*** You are in my thoughts D-lish
Author D-Lish Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 Talk it out D. I think he'll be back, considering how things were left. He already text me to tell me he just got to his hockey game and he was glad we talked. For me, I think I needed this closure. I can't see the two of us ever going back and having a relationship again.
Desensitized Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 He already text me to tell me he just got to his hockey game and he was glad we talked. For me, I think I needed this closure. I can't see the two of us ever going back and having a relationship again. Well, since you got your closure, I say cut all contact with him now. Otherwise, you'll just keep hurting. Best of luck, D-Lish
Zaphod B Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 Wow. It seems like you have some closure now. Wish I could get that too with my ex where we could just talk about how it all ended. But I don't think I will be so lucky somehow. Glad you managed to clear the air between you and hopefully now you can move on with some peace.
Recommended Posts