Enough Attractiveness is important..my cousin's marriage failing He wants hot girls!

[quietGuy13]

He married with a really below average girl . How? Well he was a talkative lad and you know talkers talk to everyone so that girl talked to him so he talked back and they ended up marrying.

 

Now he regrets it alot. Hes become a drinker and all depressed and keeps looking at all the attractive women around him and regreting having married that below average.

 

 

So i think there has to be some physical attraction there to keep the sex going. Many of you say it is not important..but oh well it's there for a reason and it's a really strong sensation.

 

So at least get a descent enough girl....Like don't get a 2 or a 1, get at least a 5 or 6 even if you don't get a 10.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I'm baffled by this post. Unless you are completely spineless, you don't just accidently get married to someone you don't like. If he wasn't attracted to the girl in the first place, why did he marry her at all?

 

Yes, you need to be attracted to the person you are marrying. However, requirements for attraction can differ. Yes, there are standard people we could more or less agree are good looking. But that doesn't mean your attracted to them.Take Brad Pitt. I have never liked Brad Pitt or found him attractive.

 

You're cousin sounds douche like.

[quietGuy13]

Well and it doesn't help all his relatives and people keep ridiculing him how he married that ugly(that's what his relatives say) girl. His relatives keep saying "How stupid, why did you get that??? you could've had a nice beautiful girl and instead you went for the worse of the worse?" "You deserve better!"

Things like that. Not just relatives, his friends also tell him that.

[Lucky_One]

He married someone simply because he was talking to her?

 

Then I would suspect his depression and alcohol issues come from the personal realization that he is an idiot (IQ of 0-25) or possibly an imbecile (IQ of 26-50). He certainly is not smart enough to be a moron (51-70).

 

This is congenital, and will not change. So he might as well drink himself to death, so his wife can collect his life insurance benefits and then trap another man into marriage by talking to him.

[Lucky_One]

Well and it doesn't help all his relatives and people keep ridiculing him how he married that ugly(that's what his relatives say) girl. His relatives keep saying "How stupid, why did you get that??? you could've had a nice beautiful girl and instead you went for the worse of the worse?" "You deserve better!"

Things like that. Not just relatives, his friends also tell him that.

 

I was right. His entire family is cursed with being idiots, and like recognizes like.

 

With any luck, they will all drink themselves to death and leave no other heirs than this woman.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Can you imagine the condition of his wife's self esteem?

 

OP, this situation is NOT about marrying somebody who's not very good looking. It's about, as DY says, a very weak move by a person who seems like a weak guy all around. Getting married to a woman he thinks is ugly, and then moping about the way she looks? And allowing his family and friends to speak that way about his wife?

 

Ugh.

 

The kindest thing he could do would be to end his marriage now, and I hope he'd have the character to do it with gentleness. It doesn't sound like he does, though.

 

He definitely sounds like very poor husband material for a woman of any appearance. A hot babe is not going to make HIM a better man.

 

Depressing post, including your perspective on it.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Well and it doesn't help all his relatives and people keep ridiculing him how he married that ugly(that's what his relatives say) girl. His relatives keep saying "How stupid, why did you get that??? you could've had a nice beautiful girl and instead you went for the worse of the worse?" "You deserve better!"

Things like that. Not just relatives, his friends also tell him that.

 

Excuse me but I don't determine my worth or the worth of my friends and boyfriends through my relatives. It sounds like you all deserve each other to be honest.

 

Why are you even posting this? Are you looking for advice for your cousin?

 

Lucky_One....you're hierarchy of idiocy made me laugh out loud.

[quietGuy13]

Tanks for the comments. But the post is nt just about my cousin. That's just an example.

 

I'm saying that there has to be some physical attraction there and yeah it depends on yourself and what you consider attractive.

 

So depending on your own scale..aim for at least a 5 or 6.

I am doing that. I mean i want a 10 but that's not gonna happen most likely. So a 5 6 or 7 can be good enough.

 

And actually this happens naturally, it's not even just me thinking it. So if you go for a 1 & 2 just cause she talks nicely and somehow convinces you, that is not gonna last because there won't be any physical attraction for sex.

[KathyM]

He married with a really below average girl . How? Well he was a talkative lad and you know talkers talk to everyone so that girl talked to him so he talked back and they ended up marrying.

 

Now he regrets it alot. Hes become a drinker and all depressed and keeps looking at all the attractive women around him and regreting having married that below average.

 

 

So i think there has to be some physical attraction there to keep the sex going. Many of you say it is not important..but oh well it's there for a reason and it's a really strong sensation.

 

So at least get a descent enough girl....Like don't get a 2 or a 1, get at least a 5 or 6 even if you don't get a 10.

I would agree that, when choosing a spouse, it is important to choose someone whose attractiveness is similar to your own. Otherwise, a lot of people do end up looking elsewhere later on in their marriage, and start longing for what they think is more their match physically. Of course, if this guy wasn't that much to look at himself, then he really can't expect more than what he has to offer. But if he did marry someone much below him physically, then he may have thoughts of what might have been. He made his choice though, and he now owes it to his wife to be the best husband he can be, and put thoughts of other women out of his mind, and enjoy and embrace the other qualities that his wife possesses that attracted him to her. She obviously has other things going for her. He needs to focus on those qualities, and stop dwelling on whatever shortcomings he thinks she has. Him being a drinker is certainly not an attractive quality for his wife to have to endure. He needs to man up and value what he has at this point.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

You're just the kind of man all girls dream to be with quiteman, a man that settles for a "5" or "6" but dreams of really having a "10". Because after all, that's what women really want in their relationships. To be "good enough" in the eyes of an average joe who rates girls on scales of 1-10.

[antinko]

He married with a really below average girl . How? Well he was a talkative lad and you know talkers talk to everyone so that girl talked to him so he talked back and they ended up marrying.

 

I had to quote and embolden the above because it genuinely made me laugh out loud.

 

I just have visions of this person 'talking' and then some other person gravitating towards the 'talking' and then reciprocating and then BANG! They're married.

Reenactment:

 

Bloke: Well, I'm just a lad who LOVES to talk so I'm going to talk and talk and blah blah blah...etc.

 

Below Average Looking Woman (bless her... ): Oh wow...a talker. I should talk too! I talk a lot...etc.

 

*Montage*

 

*Married*

Bloke: Wow. Now I've stopped talking, my standards have mysteriously risen. Please excuse my superficial nature - I believe we covered it several million sentences ago but you might not have been listening because I'm one of those lads who loves to talk.

 

Ok, that was probably funnier in my head, but still.

[Lucky_One]

You're just the kind of man all girls dream to be with quiteman, a man that settles for a "5" or "6" but dreams of really having a "10". Because after all, that's what women really want in their relationships. To be "good enough" in the eyes of an average joe who rates girls on scales of 1-10.

 

This.

 

QuietGuy, with the way you describe yourself, I would honestly have thought that you would not be nearly as shallow as you just showed.

[Eclypse]

Sorry I'm going to have to be harsh mate, but it's not totally surprising that you're a 31 year old virgin :|

[rafallus]

I'm saying that there has to be some physical attraction there and yeah it depends on yourself and what you consider attractive.

 

It isn't quantifiable with simple number, IMO.

 

Hell, when I stopped to think about it, I never really figured out, what 1-10 really means. I'm leaning towards aesthetics, which are not necessary or sufficient for attraction.

[FitChick]

Let me guess -- your entire extended family is on benefits.

 

Just because your cousin WANTS hot girls doesn't mean he'd ever get any.

[sm1tten]

Bloke: Wow. Now I've stopped talking, my standards have mysteriously risen.

I lol'd.

 

I don't think anybody has ever said that physical attraction doesn't count for anything. Only a weak-willed or desperate individual would MARRY a person they aren't attracted to and then be depressed about it like there's nothing he can do about it.

[AHardDaysNight]

You want a hot girl, turn on the porn, sit back, and masturbate.

 

You want a real girl, turn off the porn, pick your head out of your arse, and realize that nobody is entitled to like you, just because you like the way they look!

[Disenchantedly Yours]

AHardDayNight - the last thing the male population needs is encouragment to look at more porn.

 

 

Only a weak-willed or desperate individual would MARRY a person they aren't attracted to and then be depressed about it like there's nothing he can do about it.

 

And then BLAME it on the girl he married and act like he was smooozed into it.

[AHardDaysNight]

I wasn't saying that he should look at more porn. I look at porn...but then again, I've never been in a relationship.

 

I was just stating that the women, real women, who would date him and his cousin, are not going to look like that pixel-ed, airbrushed perfect body/skin/shape that porn stars have.

 

That was my point. Yes, there are hotties out there. They also want hotties to date. The princess kissing the ugly frog is a myth.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I wasn't saying that he should look at more porn. I look at porn...but then again, I've never been in a relationship.

 

I was just stating that the women, real women, who would date him and his cousin, are not going to look like that pixel-ed, airbrushed perfect body/skin/shape that porn stars have.

 

I get what you were saying and porn and real women.

 

And you've inadvertently proved my point for me.

[AHardDaysNight]

I get what you were saying and porn and real women.

 

And you've inadvertently proved my point for me.

 

How so?

 

If you're arguing that I proved the point, because I'm a 28 year old virgin...well, that's because of social anxiety, not porn.

 

If you're arguing that I proved the point, though, because real women don't look like that...well, you've got a point.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

You proved my point that men need to lay off porn.

[AHardDaysNight]

You proved my point that men need to lay off porn.

 

No, I didn't.

 

Look, I don't like mainstream porn, for the most part. I like couples porn, which is amateur porn filmed by a couple.

 

In those videos and pics, the women look real. So it's not like they're pixelated like I said before...this is real porn, filmed by real couples.

 

I guess what I'm arguing is that men need to turn to amateur porn, instead of the mainstream, fake stuff.

[Elysian Powder]

. He made his choice though, and he now owes it to his wife to be the best husband he can be, and put thoughts of other women out of his mind, and enjoy and embrace the other qualities that his wife possesses that attracted him to her.

 

He owes to his wife? Maybe I'm the only one aware of this, but lifelong marriages - caused by an agreement - had their days counted as soon as no fault divorce became as easy to get, as it's easy for the rich to explore the poor.

 

I wouldn't advice him to get out of the marriage; he'll probably be handed quite a lengthy bill. He could stay in the marriage and wait for his wife to ask for a divorce. He'd still have to pay but it wouldn't be as much as it'd be, had he asked for the divorce.

 

I believe that this is the case of the man receiving female attention, not used to it, and deciding to have more of that attention manacled himself to a dying slave farm(marriage).

 

Let this be a lesson for those who want to get married. You lot might marry a woman who has the same looks as you(say, you're average) but changes and instead of looking good, now looks like a land whale.

 

You'll be contemplating ''cheating'', in a highly sexually frustrated state, watching your best years die off.

 

You'll end up living under the beach after a divorce.

 

So, don't marry, go after the hot babes, and if you can't catch 'em, don't marry; for the price a marriage(and the divorce) entails ya'll can fly down to Europe and bang very hot 20-something gold-diggers.

[Elysian Powder]

You proved my point that men need to lay off porn.

 

They'll do so when women decide to pick a wii console and bust a sweat to look like this;

 

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_I86kOvGv2OM/TNqmyp4aigI/AAAAAAAADXQ/m5_Ssp41bGA/s1600/Miranda+Kerr.jpg

 

 

Now, selling a soul(marriage) is worth it - at least if the guy is marrying that fine woman.

 

The irony is that I've found many young women looking like that, without working for it, in my travels across the continents.

 

Hey, if they can look like that; I don't see why the majority of women should look different(as in, not attractive).