Scirok Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 So here I am again 2 months broken up and 1 month NC. I've known all along she cheated/left me for this guy. But this morning was the icing on the cake. Cause she's "officially" with him now. Which obviously hurts because it means anything at all she had left for me in her heart is gone. Although it makes me feel as if are relationship meant nothing i have read the gigs theory and rebounds etc and it seems like a little of both. It just hurts just like everyone else with the same story as they jump into a relationship so quickly. Although it was obviously planned in advance. Just makes me feel like crap cause like I said before this is just like an gigs. Cause of what she left me For a guy younger then her sells drugs pops 5 perk 30's a day no job didn't grad highschool no licence and is not easy on the eyes. I'm not no model here but damnnn you know that ache when it's real bad ooohyea that's what she's kissing. The list goes on and it just hurts I was a good man to her a firefighter-emt and got two solid feet on the ground she was a for lack of better words a "w***e" when I met her and thought I could change her and her mom and grandmother thanked me for it. It's just a sad day in my heart and this is going to be a long day
visualbasicide Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Ran into a few of those women in my day buddy and I'm sorry to hear you have to. The ultimate problem is you can't change anyone. Nothing you ever say or do will matter unless that person wants to change, and few of them really ever do. Stay NC and start a journal here or at home. Thought of the ex will be unavoidable, don't go into denial but try not to dwell either, its a tight rope act and it isn't going to be easy. Just hang in there and know that every day you face does really make you stronger, we might never understand why people do what they do but along this road we all seem to be going down we learn a great deal about ourselves.
Author Scirok Posted September 4, 2011 Author Posted September 4, 2011 I know you can't change people and my friends all told me this before I went out with her. But obviously I didn't listen and here I am she just promised me she would change and she pulled this same game last year and promised she was just stupid I just regret so much that pushed her away and made her leave me but this is the email she sent me last year after she left me Hi I know your upset and I'm sorry for that.. I need you to know that I don't cheat on you and never plan on it.. you mean the world to me babe and you know that you do.. I want to spend all my time with you because when I'm not with you I hate it.. I would never want to hurt I care to much about you to do that.. I was the happiest girl the day you asked me out because I wanted to be with you so bad.. we had such a good relationship and I believe we do now.. maybe it needs some work and most of it is because of me.. I do need to stop bitching about everything and like you said sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it but I promise you before I speak to say anything I will think what I'm going to say.. nothing negative will ever come out my mouth again.. I really plan on spending a lot of time with you in my life and I want you to feel the same way.. I want you to be happy baby because when your happy I'm happy when your sad I'm sad.. you mean everything to me and I will do whatever it takes to keep this relationship together.. like you said I wanna prove everyone wrong someday that we can make it.. we can't give it up now.. we have come to long to just give up.. if you can please call me today at some point even on your way to work I will be happy.. I hate going on all day knowing your upset it makes me feel like ****.. I love you so much baby I just can't believe I trusted her again and the sad part right now is I still miss her even after knowing she's with him and f***s him on the regular is it stupid for me to still miss her am I just pathetic
visualbasicide Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Do yourself a favor. Delete the email. or stick it somewhere that you won't look at it. It will serve you no good purpose. I totally understand your feelings on the situation. Kicking yourself in the rear because you loved someone. Love is blind. That statement never made much sense to me until I was getting divorced. How did I not see this coming? How was I so stupid? etc. It isn't really that love is blind, but when we love someone we tend not to hold their faults against them. Even now when I am not hurting or pissed (which is very rare indeed) I still love my ex wife. I am sad and hurt and angry because she doesn't have the same feelings, nor care a lick in the world that I feel them. Does this mean if she showed up at my door right now everything would be ok? No. Not a chance in hell. Frankly, the amount of dedication and proof of any real change in her, would be beyond her ability and courage to pull off. Taking anything she said at face value would be insane, and in reality, wouldn't ever really happen anyway. so, we're left with the rest of it. Accepting that we have or have had feelings for someone who has chosen to betray them. This is going to be a long hard process, and everything you feel that fades, will pop back up again and again, but each time it will hurt less and less until one day it doesn't warrant your attention if you do think about it. theres alot of useful (and sometimes not) information here on LS. rant, rave, read and recover. if you find yourself with nothing else to do, check out this thread, the video might give you something to do, or at least think about and it's got a good discussion going on right now: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t295642/?goto=newpost While not particularly useful in the short term, it's helped me understand past relationships and how I might better handle future ones.
Author Scirok Posted September 4, 2011 Author Posted September 4, 2011 Hey thanks for the advice I just need to get may face out of the dirt and stop crying it's sad I'm a grown man but when I think of the I could have,should have, I can't believe I did that i lose it. Even tho deep down I know it was just her being a s*** I can't yet not blame myself just the pain of knowing your gf is getting f****d on the daily really puts some bad images in my head especially how horrible this kid is I just hope I can clear my head of these thoughts I just don't see calm waters for many months this cut me deeper then I ever thought she could
lucylou71 Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 So many of us truly understand and feel your pain. I'm on month two. My husband left me emotionally 1 year ago and just told me 2 months ago he wanted out to be with his coworker he was having an affair with. Devastated and so heartbroken,and I'm just barely getting better. Like everyone says,it will take time,but you'll get through it. Keep posting get it all out. Do it in a journal or here. Hoping the best for ya.
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