serenityandcourage Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Hi, Little bit about myself. I am an educated professional and hold a senior management position in a MNC in USA. Me and my ex were dating for the last 2.5 years. I am still deeply in love with her and believe she is the most beautiful woman I have and will ever kiss in my life. My family was against this interracial relationship (she is Caucasian 26yr old and I am originally from India 32 yr old) right from the start and to respect the wishes of my mother, I tried to end the relationship many times but always got back together within few days because we both loved each other. My ex's family was also not happy because I am Hindu and she is Christian. My ex was aware of the fact that my family is against it and she knew that I broke up with her due to this couple of times. She always said she loves me too much and can’t live without me. I felt the same way and every time we broke up, I just wanted to get back as soon as possible. During the whole relationship, we never had a good sexual relationship because my ex was not much into sex and has some weight issues (size 24). I love her personality and still believe that she is my soul mate so sex was not that important. In January we finally broke up but decided to be FWB. Three months ago I had to go back home due to a family emergency and I was scared that my family might arrange my marriage due to my visit. I told my ex the possibility of getting married, she was very sad and recommend elope. I told her that I can’t do that but I will try my best not to get married. Due to the emotional situation at home I had to sign the marriage docs. I got back to USA and told my ex. She cried a lot and wanted me to divorce my wife. After couple of weeks I got the courage to talk to my father that I can’t live without my ex and need a divorce. My father said finally he will support my decision because he doesn’t want me to suffer. I told my ex and she was very happy, we made love to celebrate it and she asked me to talk to her family for an approval to date her now because she can only date me if her family approves it because everybody will think she is desperate and stupid to date me again. I assured her that I will talk to her parents and we can get engaged as soon as the divorce work starts. Two days later my ex met a teenage crush of herself on a family function and she told me that she is interested in the guy because his family loves her and she will not get that feeling from my family ever. I told her that she has to live with me not my family. She said, she needs sometime to rethink everything cause she thinks this is a sign from God that she should date this guy. I agreed to a month time. After a month she told me she likes the guy and wants to be with him. I became very sad and have to go to psychiatrist few times to understand what I was going through. She said she loves me too much but wants to be with the guy because she thinks this is what she wants. I said I am happy for her then she said the guy is not perfect either; he has two kids with two different women and has give both kids for adoption cause didn’t want to pay child support. Also he is a recovering alcoholic still living in a rehab accommodation. My ex and new guys family are both friends and both are rich and well settled. But the new guy is not in the family business anymore and has to support himself. As being a lover and a person who cares about her, I advised her not to date this guy cause of his past. She is ok with his past and believes everybody deserves a chance and she can change him and thinks I am jealous. My ex contacted me couple of times after that but both times she had some arguments with her new BF and she was lonely so called me and told me that she was missing me. Finally couple of weeks ago we decided the NC policy. She says she still loves me and will never get over me but also likes what she has with him and will not get back with me because she wants to get married to him in a year time. It feels like she kept me as a backup plan for few months till she was sure that things can work out between them and now don’t want to see me anymore. Still says if things don’t work out between them down the road she might give me a call to take me back. I know I am not a gentleman what I did to her. I love her too much but I think she is still keeping me on the back burner and I don’t want to be a doormat either please advise what shall I do. Sometimes I think she end up with a loser cause of me and I feel guilty about that too. I wish she can come back..don’t know what to do any more.
Nohbody Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 She made her own decisions, and she will continue to make them completely independent of you. Focus on yourself, try to learn from this experience. Focus on your happiness and what is best for you (not necessarily what you want). I wish you the best, Namaste.
Author serenityandcourage Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 Thanks Nohbody, appreciated!
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