mikesmith Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 ok ill try to make this short with as many details as i can over the past 2 months ive been talking to this girl online she lives far away from me but what happened is ive known her for a few years now ive always kid of had a crush on her shes 27 and im 29 we'd talk for a month or so then we'd lose contact but somehow end up in the same places online but about 3 months ago i broke up with my gf that lives near me anyway so i ran into this girl online again about 2 months ago it was mostly friendly chat at first but then we had a disagreement it couldnt get solved online i asked if i could call her and she let me we talked for 3-4 hours then a couple days later we talked for another 3-4 hours i thought we clicked! then we'd go back and forth online texting and calling each other little names like baby and cutie so i start thinking this is the begining of something more so i start calling her more sometimes shes just not available she has had 'eboyfriends' before and has met a few guys off the internet i know this because i would always sit back and see the discussions between them i get the fact that she has things to do but about 80% of the time it was me makig the effort now i know that girls like to be chased ad persued i guess it makes them feel wanted that is ok and all but it makes me think that im not the only one like there has been times when we would set up a time so that we can talk on the phone but she was buy that night then out of the blue she apologized for not being ready then a few phone calls later she gets really distant again even after some very intimate phone calls and telling each other how much we mean to each other but sometimes when i ask her something like 'wehn can i call you again' i get vague answers like maybe tomorrow or sometime this week should i be more assertive and set specific times? ive always been straight and open with the girls i seek for dating and a relationship sometimes its hard to read a women but im always persistent until she just tells me flat out NO or ill sooner or later get the vibe i dont know what to think about this women i can definately see a future with her she has been mistreated by guys in the past while my heart tells me to comfort her, give her space but keep a little bit of pressure on her confirming that i really do care about her but my brain says that she probably has other guys hanging around that shes just likes the certain attention that i give her since she says that im very sweet and i dont want to just the the 'sweet guy' i could go on and on but my problem is that long distance relationships are hard to maintain because you cant see them everyday cant go out on real dates cant see facial expressions or body language while on the phone etc but there have been a few conversations between us that i know she really likes me now im willing to set aside my male pride a bit to find out for sure but i just dont know how to pursue her any more. its a very fragile situation since i dont want to smother her but i dont want her to think that im not interested so any help or thoughs on this will help me out a lot
Author mikesmith Posted September 4, 2011 Author Posted September 4, 2011 Have you ever met her? ive never met her in person. no it came up around our 5th phone conversation first 2 were great like 3-4 hours long then each has been like 1-2 hours long we kind of agreed that we should take things a bit slow because of the distance i know that im obsessing here i dont want to over do it one side of me says that i should 'be the man' and pursue her more while the other side says it needs to grow on its on what kills me is that a few nights ago i called just to say hi and goodnight then at the end she said ' goodnight baby' then i said 'goodnight lovely' .. lovely is the name i picked out for her and only use it at certain times.. the next day she barely replied to the messages i left on her msn which were telling about my day so far and that i wanted to phone her again that night (were a few hours apart in time zones) but shortly after that she hasnt been on the msn all day im trying my best to put aside my male ego here while i still feel a good connection here i don't want to loser her due to inaction i wouldnt normally do the bulk of the work but i think she isnt quite comfortable mainly because ive had several girlfriends and after all it is an internet/long distance thing its just so hard to read women especially with no physical feedback what works on 1 may not work on the other ive always been a nice guy and tried being myself but ive lost a lot of girls not because of the whole 'nice guy' cliche but i think mostly due to inaction its a delicate ballance between 'pursuing a woman' which makes them feel desirable and smothering her i am absolutely sure that she knows that i like her a lot and willing to visit but im not in the best position to travel that far right now my mind is telling me to just back out a little bit she does still enthusiastically chat with me even before she chats anybody else mostly talking about every day stuff i know this all sounds crazy but i dont want to wreck things like before ive learned not not knee jerk with your emotions my gut tells me to just back off the romance a little and be more friendly and everyday kind of thing and if that doesnt work then it wasnt meant to be in the first place as i am pretty sure she is into me romantically but would backing off show a sign of me not being interested would it create that effect where 'ignore her' and she'll crave attention my brain is just going every which way which is why i dont want to push this right now i feel like im in love with her should i dump it on her tell her how i feel truely would she get smothered thank you for reading this long post i really need help
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