gandhi Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 My ex-girlfriend and I dated about 11 months before she dumped me. We had a fantastic physical and emotional relationship, we had great chemistry, and often stayed up to the late hours of the night talking and just enjoying the companionship of one another. I was always a shy and timid person, and she initiated everything from talking to me to seeing what opening up to another individual is like. I saw that seclusion and a lack of a certain degree of dependence on people is not healthy, and with her, I found the true meaning of love and happiness for once in my life. Also, not to sound like a grief-stricken dumpee, I was the perfect boyfriend towards her. I put her needs above mine, never questioned our relationship, and even went as far as giving her thoughtfelt goodnight messages everything. One last thing, she was my first relationship and first true love, while this was her second. However, sooner or later, these things have their problems. Her restrictive parents amongst other things did its toll, and after a full week in mid august of being extremely distant, she decided to end it by texting me the message, "I think I dont like you anymore," breaking my heart in the process. During the first week of the breakup, I gave her space but she kept on initiating contact only to yell at me for the things I did that she hated. I took all of her rage without ever saying a thing to defend or explain myself, hoping she'll realize her petty reasons for her decision. After a full 2 days of no contact (something that hasnt happened in almost a year), she tells me she misses me and everything I gave her emotionally and physically, but cant be in a relationship with me. I grab hold, like an inexperienced idiot, and try to talk to her without getting my feelings and love for her in the way, something I failed at. After a few days of that and me just trying to see if she wants what we had back, I realized it was way to hard on me and this friendship thing was going nowhere, so I started to ignore her again. I even told her I couldnt do it before I ignored her because of my feelings for her, but she said that either I be her friend now or she wouldnt want to be my friend ever.Before that started, she began to think I was interested in a long time female friend of mine romantically and started to become bitter, becoming a major reason I didnt want to talk to her I ignored her starting on a monday up until thursday of the same week. On monday and tuesday, she sent me a message/text each day, both I ignored. On wednesday, our school started classes. She is in 4 of my classes and me and her did not say a word to eachother the whole day. That same day, as I was driving home, she texts me saying "hi, i hope you had a great first day", which I ignore. Later, I get more messages asking me why I am ignoring her, do I hate her, and did I move on. I ignore them all. That same night, I get 30+ messages on facebook saying she has something to tell me, that she hopes I didnt move on, and even as far as to think I was off with that long-time female friend. I ignore those also and her last msg said she is going to talk to me at school no matter what. The next day, she pulls me aside and tells me she still loves me, she wants me in her life, and she is not going to date anyone else, but is hesitant to start again because of her parents and her thought of commitment. This was 2 days ago, and we have been talking like nothing bad has happened between us ever since. I declared I still loved her and she repeatedly says the same thing. She asks me what I want to do, but I keep saying she needs to decide. I have persuaded her to stick to the relationship many times in the past, and I want her to truthfully and honestly tell me that she wants to try again, but she insists I say something. Is this girl worth another shot, will I get hurt again or did she realize everything I wanted her to realize after she broke up with me?
silly_panda Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Good job in staying NC... I kinda envy you man for the things that you get and her chasing after you again... But here's the thing... If she can't make up her mind and give you a clear answer, go back to NC... Don't stick around... Cause if you do, she won't even have to make a decision cause you are already physically and emotionally there with her... Don't let her string you up... It's really unfair to you... And personally, I think sending text to break up with your partner is the worst thing to do... Tell her you will give her some time to make a decision and you are not pressuring her... During this time, do not contact her... Give each other some space... Meanwhile, you too have to find some answer within yourself... Do you really want to be with her..? Just stick to NC until she gives you a final answer... But don't stick around waiting for her... Move on...
Author gandhi Posted September 6, 2011 Author Posted September 6, 2011 Is she just using me for her own needs at this point? Something like keeping me on hold for when she is really needy? I dont want to get hurt again.
silly_panda Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 Maybe... Maybe not... Only she knows what's going on in her mind... But you can do something to protect yourself at this point... Like you said... You don't wanna get hurt again... Nobody wants that... Same thing that I said in my previous post... If she can't make up her mind, forget about her... She will come to you, tell you, beg you, etc if she really wants you back... Anything less than that, don't take the bait... Focus on yourself... Concentrate on healing and move on... Meet more people... You may even find the love of your life... Good luck...
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