YoungSuccesful Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 In contrast to the "Red Flag" thread... The girl I'm dating is incredible...has alot of your Red Flag signs but it doesnt make her any less amazing... 1. Complete comfort zone when with the person 2. Emotional attractive as oppossed to simply physical 3. Without much questioning you knew alot about their family and friends 4. No pressure in the early going to be intimate ALL THE TIME...you know you will be, it is a NEW relationship but it is a good sign when you feel no pressure to 5. Stress, worry level seems to be low 6. Is not clingy to friends or buddies 7. Doesn't seem to be needy, fairly independant A small beginning to the list...assistance from THE CROWD please... By the way, many of these I have experienced and some I have not...I am still holding in the "I love you" but I think enough "Green Flags" are up to say it soon... Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 Depends on what those red flags are. Just because 'red' flags appear, doesn't mean their are no 'green' flags. People have a tendency to judge others on here pretty quick and as soon as a 'red' flag appears some will say to dump him or her. No one is perfect, and I would imagine everybody on here has shown at least one 'red' flag to their partner. I'm not sure what question you are asking here, since you didn't ask any. But your post has made me look back upon my relationship with my ex-fiancee. You listed all the things I had with her yet she had other issues as well. Actually some of the things I had with my ex, I don't with my current. What I am trying to say however, these red flags should be dealt with. The sooner the better, otherwise it'll feed on itself and become a very big problem. Looking back on my past, I should have done that with my ex. Seems like people who have emotional abuse / problems are the ones showing alot of these 'red' flags. She had alot of family problems which was the root of her problems which then affected our relationship in a really bad way. You haven't mentioned your age, that also sometime plays a role in this. Anyway, good luck with her Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 I think those things are pretty normal in the beginning of the relationship. I usually feel that way early on with people. You're still in the blissful stage. I also think some of the red flags you're seeing may only be because she's an 18 year old kid. Simply not having grown up much yet and not having a lot of experience could cause some of the things in that list. It doesn't mean she's a potential problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted May 6, 2004 Author Share Posted May 6, 2004 Originally posted by jmargel Depends on what those red flags are. Just because 'red' flags appear, doesn't mean their are no 'green' flags. People have a tendency to judge others on here pretty quick and as soon as a 'red' flag appears some will say to dump him or her. No one is perfect, and I would imagine everybody on here has shown at least one 'red' flag to their partner. I'm not sure what question you are asking here, since you didn't ask any. But your post has made me look back upon my relationship with my ex-fiancee. You listed all the things I had with her yet she had other issues as well. Actually some of the things I had with my ex, I don't with my current. What I am trying to say however, these red flags should be dealt with. The sooner the better, otherwise it'll feed on itself and become a very big problem. Looking back on my past, I should have done that with my ex. Seems like people who have emotional abuse / problems are the ones showing alot of these 'red' flags. She had alot of family problems which was the root of her problems which then affected our relationship in a really bad way. You haven't mentioned your age, that also sometime plays a role in this. Anyway, good luck with her This thread, although directly related to my relationship, is in response to the "Red Flag" thread posted by Red Flag Rick or whatever... I am 23...nice to meet you Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted May 6, 2004 Author Share Posted May 6, 2004 Originally posted by FreeMe I think those things are pretty normal in the beginning of the relationship. I usually feel that way early on with people. You're still in the blissful stage. I also think some of the red flags you're seeing may only be because she's an 18 year old kid. Simply not having grown up much yet and not having a lot of experience could cause some of the things in that list. It doesn't mean she's a potential problem. She not showing any Red flag but one...thats not what I was saying... I am surprised she hasnt shown more b/c of her age... but she still has been very mature although it is the very beginning of the raltionship Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 I only said that because in your original post you said she has a lot of them. The other things you described sound like the normal early part of the relationship - they're great - I wish they lasted longer!!! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 I met a guy who had every single 'green flag' I wanted, and there were a lot of them. However, he also had a whole passel of the red ones. Nobody is black or white, but there are certain things that make people unsuited to relationships and you really need to keep an eye out for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted May 7, 2004 Author Share Posted May 7, 2004 nice... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Yeah, well, having to flee one's home late at night for fear that one will be injured is not so nice. Link to post Share on other sites
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