MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 bf and i broke up b/c our arguments were intense. He: still communicated with ex gfs behind my back not to cheat but he liked their attention (lets call it mild sex addiction tendencies) me: I was very critical of him and would name call and point out all his deficits (cause I was insecure and especially b/c of his tendencies) he ended up going to meetings and getting help but i didnt really see what was wrong m=with my behavior until after we broke up We have both worked on our areas of growth and he realizes I've changed and would never do that again but he said it doesnt erase all the pain he went through when i insulted him and made him feel he would never be good enough for me. He got a new shortly after we broke up and now they are together 24/7 he says he loves me but can't get back with me b/c of our past. He cant erase or get over the pain he went through. why is that? why can i forgive him and he cant forgive me? he says that his problems we both addressed and that i didnt admit mine til after the break up-why does that even matter? then he says things with her are "good" and things with me would be "great" but he still can't do it
mike588 Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 (edited) Sounds like you both are so young and your to insecure. Learn by this. It's all a learning and growing experience. Since no cheating has been involved? You both need to talk about it and work thru it. If he really loves/ want's to be with you he will work thru it. Sounds like you nagg him to much by pointing out all his mistakes,,, I run away. being together 24/7 is not healthy. Edited September 4, 2011 by mike588
wilsonx Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 bf and i broke up b/c our arguments were intense. He: still communicated with ex gfs behind my back not to cheat but he liked their attention (lets call it mild sex addiction tendencies) me: I was very critical of him and would name call and point out all his deficits (cause I was insecure and especially b/c of his tendencies) he ended up going to meetings and getting help but i didnt really see what was wrong m=with my behavior until after we broke up We have both worked on our areas of growth and he realizes I've changed and would never do that again but he said it doesnt erase all the pain he went through when i insulted him and made him feel he would never be good enough for me. He got a new shortly after we broke up and now they are together 24/7 he says he loves me but can't get back with me b/c of our past. He cant erase or get over the pain he went through. why is that? why can i forgive him and he cant forgive me? he says that his problems we both addressed and that i didnt admit mine til after the break up-why does that even matter? then he says things with her are "good" and things with me would be "great" but he still can't do it If you ever wanted to see a post that detailed the term Gaslighting, this is it. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim with the intent of making them doubt their own memory and perception. It may simply be the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. He is such a manipulative *******. You have every right to be insecure of your boyfriend at the time texting his ex behind your back. In my opinion, thats relationship ending material right there. There's no reason to text an ex ever unless there is a kid in the picture. Stop believing what this guy is telling you and move forward and find someone else better then him. I promise you there are way better then him out there
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