jmargel Posted May 6, 2004 Posted May 6, 2004 I have owned my house since '98. I was 22 when I bought it. At that time I was living with my now ex-fiancee. We both agreed that I would put her name on it after we got married. Well, the marriage didn't happen. In fact 3 months before she left she kept bugging me about it. Found out that she was probably going to try to get her name on it, so her & my now ex best-friend would've tried to take it from me. Anyway, four years later I find myself engaged again. I told my fiancee that once we got married her name would be on the house, but she didn't seem to care much about that. She is going to start giving me about $400 a month for bills (my mortgage is only $450) a month and my other bills run about $400. After we get married, do I put her name on the house? I paid for it for 6 years, with interest & all I'm assuming I paid well over $30,000. However I just refianced in Feb. and got my car paid off. The value of the house increased which was able to cover my car expense. So now it's like I am starting all over again. You always have that concern of the 'what ifs..' and it doesn't work out. I don't want to lose the house, because I know I will not be able to get another one anytime soon. My ex-fiancee ran me into debt big time and I had to declare bankrupcy. I kept the house however. In general what would one do? Yes her & me have some communication issues, but we are working them out with a coucilor. Leaving that out of the equation, what would you do in my situation?
FreeMe Posted May 6, 2004 Posted May 6, 2004 If I were getting married, I would have to trust the person enough to put his name on my house. If I still had doubts, I think I'd put off the wedding. Another alternative, however, if it doesn't matter to her, is to have a verbal agreement -like a prenup - that you will wait X number of years before adding her name on. That could work in her favor. It's possible that if her name is not on the mortgage, she also wouldn't be financially responsible if something happened. I don't know what the laws are - if something happened to you, would she be responsible for the mortgage even if her name wasn't on it, simply because she'd be your wife? Maybe you should look into that. If she would be responsible for it anyway, it's probably fair to put her on. But if she wouldn't be responsible, maybe she wouldn't want her name on it yet - that way she wouldn't be financially responsible if you split up or if something happened. If it were me though, I think I would go with my first inclination, which is if I trust this person enough to marry, I would add his name on the house.
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 6, 2004 Posted May 6, 2004 J...I'm only offering some suggestions and not at all trying to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. But ya gotta remember, I'm on your side so my point of view is somewhat skewed in your favor. If having her name on your home isn't an issue with your fiancé, then leave well enough alone (for now). If god forbid, something happens in a few years (not wishing this on you at all) and you end up divorced, she would be entitled to half the equity in your home as part of the settlement *IF* her name was on the deed. In other words, you'd be required to pay her half the value (or share) of your home regardless if you were married 1 year or ten. The law states you are entitled to KEEP anything that you owned prior to your marriage PROVIDING you made no legal arrangements to switch ownership. Besides, now that she'll be living there too, it’s only fair that she should pay half the utilities and expenses. She'd be paying more than that in rent if she lived anywhere else. If in a few years your marriage is going great, then you could opt to SELL her half of your home. You could sell her 1/3 of your property, ¼ of your property, or whatever she can afford. DO NOT GIVE IT AWAY!! This is what I did, since I TOO already owned my home and it was already paid for. My partner rented out his condo to move in with me and we lived together for two years, splitting utilities until we were confident that our relationship was solid. I then SOLD him half of my home. We consulted a Real-estate Attorney and several loaning agents about how to go about the process. This is how it worked: I got the home appraised. We had the Real-estate Attorney draft the paperwork and I placed my partner’s name on the deed. In turn, he got a loan from the bank for half the value. The bank then cut “me” a check which I deposited into a Money Market account. My partner makes monthly mortgage payments to the bank, meanwhile the money I was paid remains UNTOUCHED in my account collecting interest. This way, if anything should happen, I can afford to buy my partner’s half back out without losing the roof over my head. Additionally, my partner got a life insurance policy naming me beneficiary in the event of the worst. This way, I wouldn’t be strapped with his mortgage payments and the bank couldn’t foreclose on my home. In fifteen years, when my partner has finished paying off the loan, the policy will be cancelled. I don’t know what the laws are in your state in regard to property ownership/settlement, so I would HIGHLY advise you to consult a real-estate attorney before making any hasty decisions. I know you’re in love and its terrible to have to think about the business aspect of relationships…but J, YOU HAVE to be practical and savvy when it comes to your financial assetts. If and when relationships go bad, they can not only break your heart, but they can break your bank as well. PS…Johnny’s behind me yelling “Prenup!” as I’m typing. We’re head-over-heals in love too, but life has taught us that you can’t afford not to be SMART about these kinds of things…
Stone Posted May 6, 2004 Posted May 6, 2004 I would keep the house in your name for now and maby later when you decide to have kids, expand whatever you can sell your house and buy a house with her to accomidate your future togeather. You don't want to lose the house you worked so hard for. owning a home that early in life is impressive! don't jepordise it. But tell her that the future plan is to "buy a home togeather" so it won't upset her.
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 6, 2004 Posted May 6, 2004 PS...you'll also want to include the "right of survivorship" clause on your agreement. This way, should anything happen, *YOU* would inherit the remaining equity in your home rather than it being automatically distributed to her closest kin. In other words, without this clause, your in-laws could end up owning half your house!!
moimeme Posted May 7, 2004 Posted May 7, 2004 I almost signed my bf on my place but thought better of it at the last moment. Darn good thing I did. Enigma's got the best plan. It's not a question of not trusting your gf, but of not trusting life. People get sick and wierd sometimes. Things happen to make people change. Best to hedge your bets.
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