Arikel Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Following the 'What does your ex do that disgusts you?' thread, what did YOU do in your last relationship that disgusts you? (Which you will hopefully fix!) I'll start off 1) Forgiving his cheating and taking him back 2) Turning a blind eye to many inconsistencies in his story/life, and not clearing it up before moving forward 3) Being weak, backing off when he got angry when I questioned him (see #2). Accepting his lies and putting my rational mind to sleep. 4) Not being strong enough to hold on to my mind, crawling back to him when we argued and broke up. 5) Crying, and being upset when he got angry, instead of defending myself. 6) Not being strong enough to set my boundaries and keep them. Not walking away and staying away the first time I learnt of his duplicity.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Now this thread is something we will all benefit from. 1.) Accepted her lies. 2.) Trusted her 100% when I knew she didn't trust me. (which she had no reason not to) 3.) I didn't break it off when she told me "I'm not breaking up with you but..." 4.) I let her have all the power. 5.) I forgave her for everything when she wouldn't forgive me for anything. 6.) I apologized on several occasions where I wasn't at fault for anything 7.) I completely changed my lifestyle to suit her needs. 8.) Never called her on her bull**** 9.) I didn't feel like myself towards the end (see all other reasons for the reason why) 10.) I let my health go, gained a lot of weight, and was sick way more often than usual. 11.) I took her back when she dumped me previously. 12.) my communication wasn't top notch... something I was and still am working on. (looking back at the relationship, her communication was/is much worse than mine)
confusedandupset Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 1. Refusing to accept what he was telling me was complete b.s. and turning a blind eye to my own intuition. 2. Taking him back after he treated me like crap for 6 mths. 3. Taking him back a third time (kind of sad). 4. Being too insecure to speak my mind, because I knew he would do the whole, "I'm upset and immature, so I'm going to drive away and leave you distraught". 5. Listening to his, "she's just a friend" plea over and over and over.... 6. making most of the plans in the relationship, and accepting that he would never put in as much effort as I was. 7. Begging and pleading drunk, at his job (that was so humiliating), but thank god I have not done anything like this this time around. What am I most proud about the relationship...? 1. That I looked at his phone while he was in the shower. 2. When he ran from his house after I confronted him, I went outside and in the most calm fashion explained to his entire family why they would no longer see me anymore. 3. When he called me a f***ing c**t, I didn't write back anything nasty. 4. I left the relationship as the bigger, and more mature person.
collegeguy_24 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 List is subject to change: 1: Referring to her for all decisions. 2: Being a doormat, never taking charge just letting her be the boss. 3: Never set clear cut boundaries like I should have. 4: Forgave her instantly with no consequence after our fight on July 4th 2010, I should have made her earn it, made her chase me for a change. In other words, I should have been a man instead of a pansy, if I was, maybe she never would have left. Makes me sad to realize I only became a real man after she left.
Buttercup84 Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 1. Losing my independence 2. Going back to him after he dumped me the first time 3 . Trusting him when he said he was still on love with me 4. Crying myself to sleep because he put me down so much 5 . Not seeing my friends more often 6. Losing myself 7. Changing for him when he wouldn't change for me 8. Begging him and falling apart 9. Becoming too dependent on him
lovesickmonkey Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Since she was 18 years younger than me and drop-dead gorgeous: 1. Ignoring everything else in the entire world let alone everything wrong with her and doing anything she wanted me to including be a doormat because she was beautiful. 2. Ignoring all morals and principles because she was beautiful. 3. Seeing her point of view because she was beautiful. 4. Putting my entire life on hold because of how beautiful she was. 5. Structuring my entire existence around her because of how pretty she was. I am so ashamed at how shallow I was/am. Good thing she didn't walk off a cliff or drink funny-smelling Kool-Aid.
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