silly_panda Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Hey guys... This is what I learned from one of my friend on how to actually finding the rite person for yourself and avoiding any big problems that could crush a relationship... Here is what you need to do... Make a list of 10 things you need in your relationship... Remember... Need not want... Note: Make this list based on you... And not based on anything reflecting your ex... For example for me need will be: 1. mature 2. has almost same mindset/goal as me And so on... Make a list of 10... If you have more than 10 qualities, pick the top 10 for you... After that... Make a list of 10 things you cannot accept you partner to have... Cannot accept means totally no no... If he/she has that, I won't wanna be in a relationship with this person... Example: 1. i cannot accept girls who smokes 2. cheat on me Note: all the needs and cannot accept can change over time based on when your experience in life and your situation in life... So for your next relationship, have this list as a 'check list'... The person must meet all the 10 needs and not fall into any 1 of the 10 cannot accept... There are actually 2 more list for this but these 2 are more important... Hope this could help...
without Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 yeah it's cool,it's setting boundaries I hope we all find someone who fits in it.
without Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 what are the other 2 steps?will you tell us?
light_vader Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 yeah it's cool,it's setting boundaries I hope we all find someone who fits in it. Yep, I agree. Unfortunately for those of us in the path to self-improvement there comes the time when we have to face the inner devil telling us "you're limiting your chances muahahahaha", but hey, it's for the best. I'd rather be without a partner, than in an unhealthy, vicious, sick relationship like my last one.
Author silly_panda Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 The other 2 list will be the things that you want... Remember want and need is a totally different thing... Want probably will be something you desire but can live without... Example: 1. able to cook 2. rich It is basically on the things that you think will be a bonus if your partner has it but it won't compromise your relationship if they don't... The last list will be can compromise... Things that you don't like but is will and able to put up to... Example: 1. laziness 2. clingy If your partner has some habit/attitude that falls on this list, it is important for you to talk to them about it and set rules... Like for my friend, she doesn't like her boyfriend to smoke but he does... So she sets a rule that he is allowed to smoke but not inside the house... After having all this done 10 for each list... See where your ex/exes really stand...
Author silly_panda Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 thankssss panda. No problem... Hope it helps you...
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